I Forgot Your Name
by Kupo
Summary: As war closes in around them, everyone will be forced to choose sides. Love or logic? Squall x Rinoa, Chapter Eighteen now up! R & R
1. Perfect?

All characters owned by Squaresoft, yada yada yada.

I Forgot Your Name

by Kupo

--In Garden--

Squall rested his elbows on his desk, tired from struggling through a day's worth of work in a few hours. If he never saw another paper needing a signature again, it would be too soon. He glanced at one of the few decorations on his desk, the clock. 

_Four-thirty... Guess I could leave a little early..._

He held his head in his right hand, fingers pressing lightly on the spot between his eyebrows. He shouldn't leave early, it was against all the rules he stood for to shirk responsibility. He needed to be the example, the protégé. And he was. But... as good as Squall was at his job, he found himself wondering more and more often why he had volunteered to take the job as commander of Balamb Garden.

_Volunteered...? Cid just threw this position at me... I know I didn't refuse... but... whatever..._

The phone on his desk flashed. He picked up the receiver and his secretary informed him he had a call on line two. 

_Knew I should have left when I had the chance..._

He thanked the woman and pressed the button corresponding to the correct line. Upon hearing the voice at the other end, his brow smoothed and his mouth formed what could be called an expression of contentment, if not fully a smile.

"Squall! I just wanna know what china pattern you liked better, the one with the small pink flowers or the one with the small pinkish-purple flowers? Or maybe the ones with the reddish-pink?" a soft voice giggled.

"I'm rather partial to the ones with the skulls and crossbones, Rin" Squall replied calmly. 

He knew how much Rinoa enjoyed teasing him about their upcoming marriage, and took all the chances she got to try and work in the marriage cliches. Today was the china, while yesterday it was the color of the flowers... Yellow-pink or pinkish yellow. He had told her he preferred withered baby's breath.

Rinoa laughed a moment, happy Squall would play with her this way. So many things were going right, she felt so lucky to be blessed with his love that sometimes she really almost felt like she could fly.

"Squall... are you coming home soon? I know its a bit early, but..." she trailed off, hoping he would take the bait.

Squall paused a moment. Looked at the clock. Looked out the window. Looked at the clock.

_Why not? It's not like anyone would yell at me, everyone's always hounding me to get out of this office anyway..._

"Alright Rinoa... I'll leave in 5 minutes, let me just get all my affairs in order," he finally decided. In his heart he could feel Rinoa smile all the way from the house in Balamb.

"I'll see you soon then... I love you" Rinoa spoke softly, held her breath, waiting...

"Love you too, see you soon," Squall said, hanging up his phone and closing the folders in front of him. He was still sometimes surprised at how easily the words came to his lips now, they felt natural, as if they had been waiting right on the tip of his tongue for the perfect woman to say them to.

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Can't wait to get back and say them in person... jeeze Leonhart, you've gone soft...

But in his heart he didn't mind going soft one bit.

--In Balamb--

Rinoa hung up the phone, still glowing from hearing Squall tell her he loved her. Would it ever get old? She seriously doubted it. Sometimes she said it just to hear him say it back... somehow the cared of the world just faded away when she was with him. What would it be like when they were married?

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It doesn't matter, whatever it is will be perfect...

She still couldn't get over the fact they lived in the same house. Of course, not alone. Her father already disapproved of such close quarters, but finally agreed when Rinoa promised to bring Selphie, Quistis, Zell, and Irvine along too. They had grown so close over the course of the past year that it only seemed natural anyway. Although sometimes she wondered what she was thinking., like when Zell woke the house up at 3:30 AM because the hot-dog grill had set fire to a nearby bush in the backyard. But she loved Zell. She loved them all.

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Everything is perfect

All the others were gone, Selphie and Irvine to the beach, and Zell had dragged Quistis with him to the showing of a new martial-arts themed movie. 

_Poor Quisty..._

Rinoa had set the back porch of the house up for a dinner between herself and Squall. She admired the table she had laid out, everything looked 

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perfect

wonderful. She glanced out the window, and was rewarded with the sight of Squall emerging from his car parked outside the house. As he opened the door, she bombarded him with one of her trademark flying hugs. He swung he around before setting her on the ground and kissing her softly. 

Over her shoulder Squall spotted the table she had set up.

"Rin, it looks great" he complimented. Rinoa smiled brightly at him as she led him to the porch and they sat down to eat.

No sooner had they taken their first bites when Rinoa felt something on the back of her neck.

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Hyne!!! A bug!!! her mind screamed. Then she felt a few more and knew what it really was

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Rain... dammit. 

The heavens opened up within a matter of moments. She and Squall rushed everything inside, trying to save what they could before they drowned in the downpour.

Squall looked over at Rinoa once they were safely inside. She looked crushed, her hair hanging in wet damp clumps around her face. He wasn't sure what to do, and watched in dismay as her eyes began to well up.

"Rin... nono, Rin, everything's fine. Don't worry about it..." he said softly as her pulled her into his arms, brushing her hair away from her face.

"No... it was supposed to be perfect, it was supposed to go just the way I wanted it to. It was supposed to be perfect" she whispered into his damp shirt.

"You're perfect" he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "You're everything." He held her a moment more, then gently released her and went to find a towel to dry off his hair and clothes.

Rinoa stayed where she was, toying with the rings on her necklace.

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I need to do better... I need to be perfect. You don't understand.

Anyway, there we go. I hope you like it and didn't find it to be too boring, I needed to build some background before I get into any good stuff. If you liked it or have suggestions, please review since this is my first story and would love any feedback. Thanks for reading! Te amo- Kupo


	2. The Party Plans

NEWSFLASH: All FFVIII characters are property of Squaresoft! ..... Oh.... you knew that already?

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Two- The Party Plans

Rinoa frowned at the canvas in front of her. Her landscape of Balamb's beach and ocean looked more like two boring rectangles of blue and peach than the image she had in her mind when she began. Half-heartedly she painted in a little stick figure on a surfboard and smiled.

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There goes my career as a major artist 

Rinoa had been had pressed to find legitimate ways to find her time since all of her friends had returned to their SeeD duties. Although Cid had offered her a position as a Seed with the rest of them, she knew it wasn't in her to be that type of fighter. She understood why Squall and the others fought, but some part of her still couldn't understand how they could live from order to order.

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Guess I'm still that small-town girl from Timber she thought, and after a moment more to meditate on it, decided it wasn't a bad thing. 

Rinoa sighed softy and brushed off the sand that had blown onto her clothes as she stood up. Placing her canvas in her large portfolio carrier. It was time to get going, Quistis and the consummate party-planner Selphie would be waiting for her in the Balamb Cafe. 

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There's so much to do before tonight 

Despite the time crunch, Rinoa felt her worried lift away from her heart as she walked towards the cafe. Maybe it was the weather, or the prospect of a party, she thought to herself. But she knew the real reason ...because this party would celebrate the first anniversary of their triumph over Ultimecia.

--In Balamb Cafe

Quistis waved at Rinoa when she spotted the dark-haired woman walking into the cafe. Rinoa held up her hand to let them know she'd seen them, then went to the counter to order her coffee. Quistis was glad Rinoa had finally arrived, since she and Selphie had sat down the plans for tonight's party had gone from a small get-together to the social event of the season, with Selphie planning to invite just about everyone they knew, as well as all second and third-removed cousins.

"Hey Rin!!!!" Selphie greeted enthusiastically as Rinoa sat down with her mug of cafe mocha. "I'm so glad you're here! We really need your opinion on the theme of the party, should it be a more sophisticated thing, like to show how serious a time it was, or should it be a like, really happy thing to show how happy we are that things worked out?"

Rinoa raised an eyebrow at Quistis and asked "What do you think? I'm more inclined to say a happy celebration... I know I could use it..."

Quistis put a hand on Rinoa's forearm. "Are you alright, Rin? Something bothering you?" she asked in a soft, concerned voice.

Before Rinoa could answer, Selphie's eyes got big. "Something with **Squall**? Is he being mean to you? Is he not spending enough time with you? Is he--"

Rinoa held up her hand and cut Selphie off "Nono, it's nothing like that... I've just been feeling a little weird lately... not really myself. Just restless. I feel like I'm not doing things right..."

Selphie waved her arms in the air "Well that's just crazy, Rin! Everyone knows how perfect you are! You're the most wonderful person I know, and don't you forget it!"

Rinoa smiled, glad to have her friends reassure her. Maybe she _was_ just going through a phase... Anyway, right now it didn't matter. She flashed a bright smile and mischievously asked the two other girls "Wanna see the painting I drew?"

Quistis and Selphie nodded, and when Rinoa brought out the painting and they caught sight of the little stick-figure surfer they burst out laughing.

"Who's that, Rin?" giggled Selphie.

Rinoa giggled back "Well, Irvine likes to surf so I guess that's him!" 

Selphie took a pen out of her purse and declared, "Well Irvy's not going to the beach by himself, he'll hit on all the women in bathing suits!" and promptly drew herself into the picture, holding her nunchakus in a menacing way, and behind her, cowering in fear, a bunch of stick-figure girls in bikini's.

Quistis took the pen from Selphie and added a stick-figure Zell chasing a man with a hot dog vending cart down the beach, and then drew a picture of herself standing on the beach with her hands in the air as if exasperated. 

Rinoa laughed as Quistis handed her the pen. She drew in Squall, sitting on the beach, reluctant to get into the water. Then she drew herself, pulling him toward the ocean. The three of them laughed for a minute before they noticed the rest of the cafe patrons staring at them. Selphie looked at her two friends sheepishly and whispered "at least we know how to have fun!"

Quistis nodded and decided it was time to get down to business. She pulled a pad of paper out of her purse and picked up the pen. "Now who's going to bring what for tonight?" she asked. Selphie launched into all the things that she would be willing to do, and Quistis struggled to write as fast as Selphie could talk. When Selphie paused to take a breath, Quistis glanced at Rinoa. She was staring out the window with a strange empty look in her eyes. 

"Rin, what's up?" she questioned. Rinoa slowly turned her eyes towards the two women, but didn't say a word. Quistis and Selphie stared back, unsure of what to do. Rinoa's eyes drifted from Quistis down to the table, where their new "art" was still displayed. She picked it up.

"WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS **DO** TO MY PERFECT PAINTING?!" she screamed, her eyes on fire. Selphie jumped out of her seat and Quistis sat forward, worried. "Rinoa... don't you remember a few minutes ago... we all...?" 

Rinoa clenched and unclenched her hands before standing up and slamming the painting back into her portfolio. Selphie went to walk towards her, but Rinoa hissed "Don't you _dare..._" causing her to stop in her tracks. Quistis and Selphie, along with everyone else in the cafe, watched as Rinoa stormed out the door.

--On The Road

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Idiots... who do they think they are... morons.... trying to take charge of my life... touching my stuff... just BACK OFF...

Rinoa stormed down the road out of Balamb, not caring where she was going. She was furious. Her eyes burned with rage and her skin had become deathly white.

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How DARE they... How....?

She stumbled over a rock in the road, almost falling.

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How... Who....

She fell to her knees.

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Help me...

Rinoa collapsed by the side of the road.

Well, that's where's I wanted this chapter to end, but I'm already working on the next one so it should be up in a day or two. I wanted to try and work some humor in before it gets dark, so there ya go... hope it was maybe a little teeny bit funny ^_^ Thanks to my reviewers, cause I love them. My very first reviews, tee hee hee. *hugs the people who reviewed* Yay! So let me know what you think of this chapter, everyone. Te amo~ Kupo


	3. A Find

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns everything. Even my soul. Mwahaha.

I Forgot Your Name

Chapter Three: A Find

--In Balamb Garden

Squall quickly signed his name to a document authorizing the deployment of SeeD to facilitate a border dispute outside Deling City. Since the destruction of Ultimecia, Squall and Cid had tried to steer Garden away from the mercenary life, and to a path of peacekeeping, force only when necessary. Although SeeD were still accomplished fighters, Squall hoped to limit the amount of violent confrontation which the young people under his command faced, knowing for himself what it was like to be such a tense situation.

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No kids should be put into circumstances like we were... We were too young. We did it... but we were too young

He glanced out the window at Acauld Plains. It was a beautiful afternoon, and even he, the impassive Squall Lionhart, wished he could be out in it. He caught sight of something on the road near the entrance to Garden. He stared at it a moment, not sure quite why he was so interested. It was a vivid blue color... he knew that color!

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Rinoa...?

Squall shoved his chair back from his desk and ran from his office, bumping into his surprised office assistant.

"Sir? Is everything alright?" she questioned, but Squall was already running down the hall towards the elevator and Garden's main gate. He caught sight of Rinoa on the roadside and knelt beside her.

"Rinoa? Rin, can you hear me...?" She didn't stir in his arms. "Rinoa!!!" he called her again. This time her eyelids fluttered and the hand he had put in his own tightened. As Squall brushed her soft hair away from her face, her eyes fluttered open and she whispered "Squall?"

"Yeah baby, its me. Are you alright? What happened?" he asked her, holding her tight.

"I... I dunno... I feel fine now..." Rinoa replied, a frown crossing her features. "It must have been the heat and the long walk. I was on my way to go see Selphie and Quistis... but... I must have changed my mind and come to see you first...?" Squall was still staring at her concernedly, so she added "I mean, can you blame me?" with a quick wink.

Squall watched as she got to her feet. The color had returned to her cheeks and she seemed to be alright, she was joking again and everything. His same sweet Rinoa. "Do you want me to walk you back to Balamb?" 

"Nono, silly. I'll be fine. I'm sure Quistis and Selphie are wondering where I am!" She put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes for a moment before pulling him close and kissing him softly. "I love you, Mr. Leonhart." she said after breaking their kiss.

"Love you too, Miss Heartilly." he said, although the tips of his ears turned a little red. 

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I always blush...

"You always blush," Rinoa giggled. "But soon you'll have to call me Mrs. Leonhart... maybe that will help?" she whispered and walked off down the road, calling "See you tonight, Squall! Don't be late for the party... That's an order! An order from your client!"

Squall smiled and jogged slowly back towards Balamb Garden.

--The House in Balamb

Quistis and Selphie were sitting at the table discussing recent events with Rinoa. "I just... I feel so BAD!" Selphie said. "I would never impose on Rinoa's stuff like that... but we were all having fun and she seemed so into it, I thought she liked it when she started doing it too--"

"Whoa now ladies, what did I miss?" interrupted a smooth voice. 

"Nothing Irvy. Shut up." Selphie said, deadpan. She motioned to her cheek with her index finger and Irvine walked to her and kissed it obediently. "That's better," she said, much appeased. "Where's Zell?"

"I think he's stopping by Balamb Garden for a few library books" Irvine said with a wink.

"Ah, and maybe a date for the party, too..." Quistis added with a small smile.

Irvine winked again and held a finer to his lips. "So what were you all talking about before I oh-so-rudely interrupted?"

"It's just that Rinoa's been acting really weird lately, Irvy. You know how she's become a little bit of a perfectionist lately?" At Irvine's half-nod she continued "Well today she had some kind of major freak-out, it was like she forgot who she was, who we were. She got really angry and stormed out of the cafe.... I feel so BAD!" she finished, holding Irvine's arm in a death grip, illustrating how upset she really was.

"We just didn't know what to do, she even looked like a different person... she got so pale, but her eye were burning," Quistis added. 

Irvine took off his hat for a moment and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, is she ok now? Did you guys ask her what happened?"

"Actually, by the time Selph and I came to our senses, she was long gone... we looked all over town but we couldn't find her anywhere. She hasn't come home yet."

Just then they heard the front door opening, then closing. When the sound of footsteps began to come their way, all three of the unconsciously stood up. Rinoa walked in and folded her arms across her chest.

"Where were you guys? I waited at the cafe for like half an hour but you didn't show up!" she asked. Seeing their stricken faces, she tried to lighten the mood by adding "I could just kill you guys sometimes!" with a wink, but it seemed to do more harm than good.

Selphie stepped forward to Rinoa's side. "Rinny, don't you remember? We _were_ at the cafe with you... and you got mad at us for drawing on your painting?" When Rinoa looked at her skeptically, Selphie continued "Here, look" and took the portfolio Rinoa still carried and opened it, pulling out the artwork. Rinoa put a hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle.

"That has to be the best art I've ever done... but... I can't remember any of it." she said with a frown. 

Irvine, who hated to see any young ladies in distress, cut in "Well you don't have to worry about it right now, Rinoa. It's almost four o'clock. You girls have to get ready for the partayyy" he said, borrowing one of Selphie's words, to Selphie's great pleasure. Rinoa still looked perturbed. "Really Rin, we'll figure it out later. It's probably just stress. We all need to relax tonight"

Finally Rinoa managed a smile and agreed. The three girls wandered off to bring out the decorations and to get themselves ready for the big night.

Irvine stayed in the kitchen, leaning one arms on the counter.

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You don't suppose...? No, that's silly. Relax Irvine, have fun tonight 

Since no one was in the room, Irvine laid the back of one hand across his forehead and whispered "I won't think about that now... I think about that tomorrow... After all, tomorrow... is another day...!" Replacing his hat, he went to go help Selphie set up the decorations.

Woohoo! I love my reviewers! (Just had to get that out of the way) Well, there's the next chapter! Next will be the party itself. I am thinking that each chapter is going to get a little darker... and there will be at least one more chapter before I name what's wrong with Rinoa, most likely two. But I hope it will be worth it! Thanks to my *awesome* reviewers, **ariescelestial** (yeah, yay for titles!), **Karla** (I am loving your fic, update soon!), **Zell Coral** (::pokes back:: Well, you'll just have to wait and find out, teehee) **Old User** (You want me to continue? I love you!) and **Rinny Leonhart/Rikku** (I can't spell without spellchecker, don't feel bad ^_^). You guys rock! Anyway, hope everyone is happy with this chapter, please review it if you liked it or have some comments. Te amo~ Kupo


	4. It's My Party And

Note: I don't own the characters of Final Fantasy VIII. However, I am open to offers from Square. In return for ownership, I will make them cool stuff from duct tape (my new hobby). You hear me, Square?!! DUCT TAPE.

I Forgot Your Name

Chapter Four: It's My Party And...

--Balamb Garden's 3F Conference Room

Squall glanced at his wristwatch. It was just a few minutes past 6:30. He looked up at Xu, who had evidently forgotten the time limits on briefings, but that was Xu for you. As much as he wanted to be informed on how SeeD was resolving the Deling City dispute, he was impatient for her to wrap it up.

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Rinoa's gonna pissed if I'm late... can't be late again...

He quickly suppressed a small smile which threatened to break out across his face as he remembered how mad she had been when he was late for a formal dinner with her.. and how he had made it up to her later...

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Asked her to marry me... but I can only do that once. I need to get outta here.

"Well, I think that's it for tonight, folks," Xu announced, interrupting Squall's train of thoughts. With a quick thank you to Hyne, Squall prepared to stand up. "Oh, but everyone!" Xu added, "I completely forgot. We need to discuss peacekeeping techniques for the city once SeeD has withdrawn..." Squall slumped in his chair. As much as Rinoa and his friends had changed him, Squall Leonhart still followed his orders and completed his objectives. It was going to be a long evening.

--Balamb Garden, 3F Hallway

Zell hurried down the corridor, making for the elevator.

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Gonna ask her! Yeah! YEAH! Zell baby, it's all you tonight! Gonna do it!

He paused for a moment, shadowboxing and doing a forward flip in the air. Landing confidently, he gave himself a quick thumbs up.

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Yeah! Yeah!

Suddenly a frown passed across his face

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What if... what if she says... NO? What if she heard about the time you fell into the fountain at the front gate... or what if her friends showed her that survey they gave me... when I told them my favorite color was pink? Or, or... or what if--

Zell paused a moment, collected his thoughts, and ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. "No man, you're cool. Just relax. If you can't get a girl, you'll just have to console yourself with a hotdog or ten," he said to himself, and started walking down the hallway again, much more collected this time. Passing the conference room door, he peered in the small window and saw several high-ranking SeeD officials having a meeting. At the head of the table was Squall, holding his head in one of his hands, looking pissed to all hell. Most people wouldn't be able to tell that Squall was angry, but Zell knew him well enough to recognize his emotions by his body posture and actions.

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The hell's he doing in there? He'll be late if he doesn't get a move on soon...

As if Squall heard him, he lifted his head and looked directly at Zell on the other side of the window. After a quick glance around, Squall mouthed the words _"Get me out of here"_ at Zell. The martial artist nodded and gave Squall a quick thumbs-up.

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Think, Zell. Think of somethin' good...

With a deep breath, Zell burst into the room. "I need help!!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. "Someone help me!" 

Squall stood up, feigning great concern. "Zell, calm down, tell us what happened!"

"There's a snake in the hallway! Quick!"

Zell could almost feel the daggers that Squalls was shooting at him. "Uh... its a **really big snake**! Don't let it get to the junior classmen, Squall! Hurry!"

Squall headed toward the door, but turned around to face the panel of SeeD faculty when he reached the doorway. "I'll uh... handle this. Please continue without me..." With that, he turned on his heel and left the room. With a quick wave Zell exited the room behind Squall.

Once the door was shut and the men were safely at the elevator, Zell turned to look at Squall. He could see the murderous intentions written all over his face, so he closed his eyes and braced for whatever was coming. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up. He was surprised to see Squall with a slight smile on his face.

"Thanks, Zell," he said, before quickly removing his hand from Zell's shoulder. Zell breathed a silent sigh of relief. "But you know," Squall continued as they entered the now open elevator, "if you keep using a snake as your excuse to get out of a room, eventually someone's gonna catch on..."

The door closed on the sound of Zell's exuberant laughter and the softer laughter of Squall.

--At the House in Balamb

Rinoa tentatively smiled at herself in the mirror above her dresser. She had applied very little makeup for the occasion, just enough to highlight her already stunning features. Her hair was in a gentle upsweep, small tendrils left to hang in loose curls on each side of her face. She had decided to wear her newest dress, a simple yet elegant dark blue dress with a low neckline, which complemented the two rings she still wore around her neck. 

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I can't believe it's been a whole year. So much has changed. Everything is working out like how I always dreamed it would. I'm in love with my tall-dark-and-handsome man, surrounded by friends that I care about and who care about me... I don't have a worry in the world...

Her hand, which had been reaching for the pair of earrings resting on the dresser, paused in midair. 

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Except for the blackouts that I had today... Irvine's right, its just stress

She refused to acknowledge that she wasn't under any real stress, because then all the easy solutions would have been exhausted.

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Because I'm fine. I'm fine! Why is everyone walking on eggshells around me! There's nothing wrong! Hyne! Dammit! I'm FINE

Her hand, still reaching for the earrings, strayed and picked up a small decorative ceramic container.

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IM PERFECT IM FINE

Rinoa flung it against the wall. As she watched it shatter, she came back to herself put her a to her mouth. She walked over and knelt by the pieces, gathering them delicately in her hands.

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Why did I do that? Why did I lose control? Is there... something wrong with me?

There was a knock at the door. "Rinoa?" called Quistis from the other side. "You alright?"

Rinoa stood up and walked to the door, opening it and showing Quistis the fragments in her hand. "Yeah Quisty, I just dropped this on the floor. Sometimes I wonder about me..." she said with a small wink and a "silly-me" smile. 

Quistis looked at Rinoa a moment, then shrugged. "Well, throw them out and go join the party, its almost seven and we have some early-birds showing up already." Rinoa nodded and walked down the hallway towards the living room and the party.

Quistis stepped into Rinoa's bedroom and looked around a moment. 

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Rinoa.. your room is carpeted.. you didn't just drop that

Ok there's that chapter. Yay! I've decided that I'm doing one more chapter without letting on what's going on with Rinoa, then I'll let you all in on the secret. Oooo. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, keep the reviews coming, I love them more than the air I breathe. And a special thanks to my friend Becky for giving me some insight into our mutual-favorite character, Zell! Please review and I'll be updating soon! Te amo~ Kupo


	5. Too Much Noise

Well, Square didn't sell me the rights to FFVIII yet. I guess they must have something against duct tape. 

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Five: Too Much Noise

--On The Road

Squall slowed the car as he turned onto his street. It was a gorgeous car, bought for him by Rinoa on his 18th birthday. She had given it to him telling him to "go fast, go slow, go anywhere, just love it" and he did. It was the one thing he consistently broke rules because of. There was little he enjoyed more than slamming through the gears as fast as he could on the way to work. Squall glanced into the rear-view mirror. He felt a little like a chauffeur, as Zell and his date had decided to sit in the back of the car together.

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Thank Hyne they're behaving themselves 

He pulled up in front of the house. There were lights on in every room and many people visible through the windows. There were even some guests hanging around in the backyard, chatting with beverages in their hands.

"Hey you two... time to get going" he announced to the backseat of the car. He exited the car and leaned against it's shiny black exterior. Squall glanced at Zell and he passed and Zell paused. Squall made a slight motion, touching his finger to the corner of his own mouth, and Zell quickly wiped away the smudge of lipstick that had appeared own his own. Squall smiled slightly as he watched them walk in.

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Time to go be the host...

As he walked into the house, he tried to formulate answers to some of the questions which he thought he might be asked out loud. "We were frightened but we knew he had a job to do... Time compressions makes you forget everything, you need someone else to remember who you are or you fade... Nono, it was a matter of choice..." Taking a deep breath, he pasted a larger-than-normal smile on his face and opened the door. 

--The House, Living Room

Selphie was running about, refilling drinking here, chatting there, trying to keep everyone happy and things flowing smoothly.   


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This is more work than I bargained for! 

She felt a tap on her shoulder and jumped, turning too quickly and spilling her tray of newly-refilled wine glasses all over the person standing there.

"Matron!! I'm so so sorry!" Selphie squealed. "Let me get that for you! Oh Hyne!" Edea smiled softly and held up a hand.

"Selphie dear, don't fuss about it. Just give me a cloth and I'll dry it off." Selphie nodded and handed her a small hand towel. "You see, the good thing about wearing black is that its almost impossible to stain," she added with a wink. Selphie smiled back in return and gestured to a chair in the kitchen.

"Would you like to sit down while you dry that off?" she asked, and Edea nodded. 

"So dear, tell me what you have been up to lately. Not too many wild parties, living here unsupervised, I hope?"

"No Matron, of course not anything like that!" Selphie replied, winking and sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. "But..." she began, and then hesitated. When Edea leaned forward and gestured for Selphie to go on, she complied. "... but we're a little worried about Rinoa. She's been acting kind of strange lately."

"How so, Selphie?" Edea asked with a slight concerned frown.

"Well you see, she's been, I dunno, losing time lately. Today she got really mad at Quisty and I, like she didn't even know who we were, but later on she didn't even remember that it had happened."

"Yes, and she just had a bit of an incident in her bedroom," added Quistis, walking into the kitchen holding several empty wine glasses. "She said she dropped a little ceramic dish, but I know for a fact that she must have thrown it at the wall... I don't understand what's wrong with her..."

Edea nodded slowly. "I see... I think I shall have a talk with Rinoa tonight..."

Quistis and Selphie offered small smiles to their matron, feeling somewhat guilty for telling Rinoa's problems, but more relieved that a person of more experience had offered to help. Selphie nodded as she stood up, smoothing her dress and refilling the wine glasses. On her way out the door she added hopefully "It's probably nothing anyway..."

--The House, Living Room

Rinoa smiled as she saw Squall enter the house. She could tell from great experience that he became instantly uncomfortable as guests surrounded him with questions and compliments. The smile she could tell he had been faking began to slip as he fought the urge to simply walk away from them all.

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He's trying so hard... It's sweet

She waved when he glanced towards her side of the room, and his eyes met hers. With a relieved smile he excused himself from the group and made his way towards her. Rinoa felt herself flush as he took one of her hands and quickly brought it to his lips. 

"Everything looks wonderful, Rinoa. You girls did a great job."

Rinoa leaned forward a bit and confessed "I didn't do too much of it... I was a little... tired...."

Worry creased Squall's face for a moment, and Rinoa tensed. She didn't want to have to explain the feeling that had overtaken her in her bedroom shortly before. He seemed to hover on the fence a moment, but then let it go.

"You look beautiful, you know?" He said softly. Rinoa bowed her head a bit, pleased with the compliment. Squall leaned closer, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he whispered in her ear, "But you'd look beautiful in anything... or nothing..."

Rinoa was so surprised she almost dropped her glass of champagne. She punched him playfully on the arm and whispered back "Well... we'll just have to wait and see, won't we, Mr. Leonhart?" 

"Oh damn," Squall said, mostly to himself. Rinoa looked in the direction he was staring and saw Headmaster Cid motioning for the pair to join him and a bunch of stuffy-looking diplomats. He glanced down at Rinoa and said with a small smirk "I'll deal with them, you stay here and I'll be back in five..." and winked at her before walking towards Cid and his group of guests.

Rinoa leaned back against the wall, enveloped in a haze of love and champagne. Putting down her glass, she wrapped her arms around herself and was content to relax and listen to the buzz of conversation all around her. 

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It's nice to be unnoticed for once... Being famous is overrated

"Rinoa!!!" called a voice from across the room. A girl who looked vaguely familiar pointed at her from across the room and motioned for her to stay there. As she crossed the room a group of about fifteen people followed her. As they surrounded her, smiling and armed with questions about sorceresses and time compression, she began to feel cornered. 

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Everything is so loud... Be quiet...

Rinoa looked around for an opening, hoping to beat a quick retreat, but she knew she'd be followed and eventually questioned over and over about the most stressful and life-changing event of her life.

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I hate this.. leave me alone, I'm normal...

The guests around her noticed her panicked look and began to ask her if she was OK, if she needed to sit down, to get a drink of water, to get some fresh air, to eat something, to go someplace, to--

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Why can't you all just **SHUT UP**!!!!

Every single wine glass in the room burst into millions of pieces.

Rinoa put a hand to her mouth. All eyes in the room were turned towards her and she felt completely naked. After a couple of moments of uncomfortable silence, murmurs of conversation rippled through the room. Squall was looking at her with a pained and worried expression, but she motioned for him to stay where he was. Breathing heavily as she fought her tears of embarrassment and confusion, she slowly exited the living room and walked out onto the porch, softly closing the glass door behind her.

--The House, Kitchen

"Well, we won't have to cook anything else for days!" Zell remarked as he, Squall and Irvine surveyed the living room. His half-hearted attempt to lighten the moods of the other men fell on deaf ears: Within five minutes of "the incident", which everyone had found convenient ways _not_ to mention, the house was empty. Glass littered the floor, but the tables were still covered with plates of all sorts of food, barely sampled before all the guests had left.

Quistis entered the room carrying two dustpans and a broom. She smiled softly at Zell and handed him one of the pans. "Sweep..." she said as she brushed a loose strand of blonde hair from her eyes.

Selphie walked into the room from the kitchen, her fancy dress shoes dangling from one hand. She plopped onto the couch, and Irvine joined her a moment later. She leaned into his as her wrapper his arm around her shoulders. "At least I can finally take these darn shoes off..." She said to him as she closed her eyes to rest.

Squall frowned. He knew that he friends were trying their best to ignore what had happened, for his sake if not for Rinoa's. He ran a hand through his hair, and stood in front of everyone. As they glanced up he took a deep breath.

"Listen, I know you're trying your best, but I'm just going to come right out and say it. _Something's wrong with Rinoa_."

--The House, Bedroom

Rinoa sighed as she took off her necklace.

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I wonder where the others are... downstairs, talking about me and what happened, most likely...

She unhooked the back of her dress and slipped out of it, opting instead for a large cotton shirt, one of Squall's, that was long enough to serve her as a nightgown. Sitting down in front of her vanity, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her skin was pale and her eyes seemed so tired. 

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I look like death warmed over

She held her head in her hands and stared down at the oak surface. A letter caught her eye, tucked into the book resting on her desk. In simple script, the envelope simple said "Rinoa". Pulling it from between the pages, she opened the envelope and unfolded the note inside.

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Rinoa,

You must fight it. Look to me should you need help. You must fight.

My love, Edea Kramer

Author's Notes:

You guys, I am so sorry to have not updated in so long. You know how life catches up with you, and I was seriously thinking of not continuing simply because of lack of time. But I'm back now! So time for thank you's to readers!

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Yurikkuna_- _Thanks so much for the review! I had, like I said, been on the fence about writing any more, and you motivated me to continue! So thanks, and I dedicate this chapter to you ^_^

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RikkuYuna89- You know I love you! I hope I'm staying true to the types of things that the other characters would think! And keep writing your zany story!

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Amanda- You think it's suspenseful! That is so great! I have been trying to make it suspenseful and I've been worried that I haven't been doing a very good job. And I finally updated, so I hope you like this chapter!

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Angelprinczess29- I'm glad that you thought Zell was funny, I thought that the story might need a boost of comic relief! I'll let you (and everyone else) know what's wrong with Rinoa really soon *wink*

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Karla- You write such good stories, ahh! I love them all, and I feel so special that you review mine! I hope you like this chapter, and fyi, "Damn the Red Pill" is so funny I've almost peed my pants on several occasions!

Also, if you reviewed and I didn't mention you here, I'm not trying to be mean! The actual posted story, if I search it, says I have 19 reviews, but only 15 show up. But thank you to you too, and if you want to re-review thats ok too ^_^ Please everyone let me know what you think of this chapter, I tried to make it extra long because I feel guilty for not updating for a long time.

Next Chapter: Rinoa Revealed!


	6. Figure in the Mist

I own Final Fantasy VIII. I just let Squaresoft **think** that they do. Don't tell them, they'll be crushed. 

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Six: Figure in the Mist

--The House, Squall's Bedroom

The morning dawned foggy and wet. Squall awoke precisely ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he ran a hand through his lightly mussed hair, and it fell easily back into its accustomed place. He clicked off his alarm before it could ring and walked softly out of his room in the direction of the bathroom. He paused at Rinoa's door, and contemplated knocking, but thought better of it, if Rinoa was asleep he didn't want to wake her. His hand paused a moment above the door handle, and then he tried to turn it. 

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Locked. Is she embarrassed and trying to keep us out? Or is she trying to keep herself in, and to handle whatever is wrong all by herself?

He thought to himself a moment, then released the handle. He entered the bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water heated, he paused and looked at himself in the mirror. He was almost surprised at his reflection. His eyes, which had once been cool and impassionate now were filled with worry, and the dark circles under then emphasized that worry. 

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Who would have thought I could change so much? Not me. But Rinoa knew. She always knows, everything. Even what I try to hide from myself. So why is she hiding from me?

Squall frowned as he slipped out of his boxers and into the shower. Last night had troubled him much more than he cared to admit to anyone, especially himself.

--FLASHBACK to previous night, living room--

"_Something's wrong with Rinoa."_

Selphie fidgeted nervously on the couch next to Irvine. Irvine stared at him, his eyes full of worry. Zell suddenly found his shoes to be extremely interesting, and Quistis paused in her efforts to clean up the glass, although she couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. Squall noticed this and turned towards her.

"Quistis? Do you know something that I should know about too?"

Quistis sighed and stood up, depositing the shards she had collected into an empty paper cup. 

"You see, Squall... this morning Selphie and I were supposed to meet Rinoa as a café to discuss the preparations for the party tonight, you knew that?"

Squall nodded, impatient. "She told me she was going to go when I saw her this afternoon."

Quistis frowned, then realized that Rinoa must have stormed off to see Squall after leaving the café. But when Rinoa met up with Squall, it seemed like she was talking about it like she hadn't even _gone_ yet. There was so much to put together, and she would need time to think it over later. 

"Well, Rinoa had brought along a painting of Balamb Beach she had just done. We all joked about it a bit, and drew on it together. And then suddenly... she just exploded. It was like she didn't even know who we were. Her eyes looked like they were on fire... and then she just left. Later on this afternoon she came back home, and couldn't seem to remember a thing about it. Also, this evening she threw an expensive ceramic at the wall in the bedroom, and then claimed she had dropped it, although I could tell she was lying to me that time... In truth Squall, all of us have been worried about Rinoa for some time now."

Squall sat down next to Selphie, who moved over to make room for him. All of the sudden, Selphie gasped and then laid a hand on Squall's shoulder. 

"But ya know Squall, tonight Quistis and I talked to Matron about it! She said she would talk to Rinoa and try to help. So don't worry too much, Matron will help us figure out whatever is wrong with Rin."

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Matron? What does Matron know of mood swings and memory losses? Unless... its something more serious. Unless it has something to do with Rinoa's sorceress abilities. Please, please Hyne, let nothing be wrong with Rinoa. She's suffered so much already.

Squall managed a sickly half-smile at Selphie and agreed softly "Yes, I'm sure that Matron will be a great asset to us..."

Zell finally looked up from his shoes and into Squall's face. What he saw there worried him.

"Squall man, go to bed. We'll take care of the mess down here in no time at all."

Too tired to argue, Squall agreed and walked slowly and heavily up the stairs toward his bedroom. 

Stopping at Rinoa's door, he knocked softly. Rinoa opened it halfway. She had been wearing on of his big shirts as a nightdress and it was evident she was scared and had recently been crying. Squall felt his heart melt in front of this woman he loved. Before he could get a word out of his mouth, he felt Rinoa's arms wrap around him for a brief moment. She had whispered into his ear, then withdrawn her arms and gently closed her door on him for the night. He stood still a moment, unsure of what to do. Then he had continued down the hall to his own room.

Once inside, he had picked up the phone and dialed the Kramers. Edea had answered on the second ring, and promised to meet him in his office the next morning when he got to work. Then Squall laid down and waited for sleep, which was a long time coming that night. The words she had said to him echoed in his mind, crowding out sleep.

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I'm alright, Squall. As long as you keep loving me, I can fight. But.. maybe it would be better if you didn't... at least for a while...

Fight what? And how could she ask him to stop loving her?

--END FLASHBACK

Squall turned off the water in the shower, exited, and wrapped a towel around himself. He ran a hand across the fogged-up mirror. Looking into his reflection again, he told himself that everything would work out. They had faced tougher odds than whatever they were up against now. And he knew that come hell or high water, he would never leave his angel to fight anything alone.

Walking quietly down the hallway and downstairs, he paused in the living room. Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis had done a remarkable job of cleaning up, if anything the room was cleaner than it had been before the party had taken place. As he walked into the kitchen, he noticed a cup of coffee, still steaming. Tucked under it was a note addressed to him, and he recognized the writing instantly as Rinoa's. He sat down to open the letter, but as he turned it over he caught a glimpse of his watch, which read 8:20. 

He was already twenty minutes late to work! Swearing to himself, he tucked the note into the pocket of his pants, swallowed the hot coffee in two large gulps, and was out the door. He ran to his car, which had been moved to the other side of the street by Irvine (the only other one he permitted to drive his baby) to facilitate the exits of all the partygoers last night. As he turned to get into the car, he looked up at Rinoa's large bay windows. 

He thought he saw her standing there looking down at him. He raised his hand in an unsure wave, then got into the car and sped away. Had she been there? Or had it just been the mist playing tricks on him?

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office

Edea sat in one of the chairs facing Squall's desk. The chairs, like much everything else in the door, were strictly utilitarian. They were gray and designed for people to sit in at attention, not for creature comfort. She shifted a bit, growing uncomfortable in the seat. With surprise she realized that Squall was late. While this slightly worried her, she couldn't suppress a small smile. Squall Leonhart had finally relaxed a bit, she hoped.

Even as she thought this, the door opened and in walked a very tense-looking Squall. 

"Matron, I'm so sorry that I'm late... I lost track of time, I've never done that before-"

Edea stood up and brushed off his attempts to apologize. She walked to him and gave him a gentle hug, and in her arms he still seemed the small lost child she had taken care of so many years ago. She released him and held him at arms length. Her heart broke to see him in such confusion and distress. He places her hand on his cheek a moment.

"We have much to talk about." 

Squall nodded and motioned for Edea to sit in his larger more comfortable chair. He sat in one of the other chairs, and waited for Matron to explain how to help Rinoa.

"Squall... I don't know how to help Rinoa." Seeing his crestfallen face, she hastened to continue. "But, I do think I know what is going on. And I can advise you as to what _you_ may be able to do to help her."

"Please Matron, anything you could tell me about what may be wrong with her, anything at all could help..." 

"You see, I know what is happening to Rinoa because it happened to me, too. About a year after I received the powers of another sorceress. You remember when I did? You were there when Ultimecia died... But that's not what's important now. With sorceress power comes enormous responsibility. That responsibility, in time, weighs down upon the mind of the new sorceress. She may begin to feel ineffectual, imperfect, and strain to control what she can in her life. This small grasp for control is really the prelude to what can potentially be a much greater danger: the abuse of power."

"Oh Matron, Rinoa would never abuse her power! Half the time she tried to pretend as if she doesn't even have the abilities of a sorceress. And Rinoa, she's well, Rinoa. I know her. She would never seek to use her powers for anything but good. That's just how it is." Squall snapped back. She could tell he was instantly sorry for being so sharp to her. 

"I'm- I'm sorry Matron. But I just know that can't be it. Rinoa would never..." He trailed off, lowering his eyes. Edea felt another rush of affection for the young man.

"I understand why you defend her, Squall. And she will need defending in the time to come. For, like I did, she is exhibiting symptoms of more than just stress. She's losing time, and losing control of her body and emotions. This is where the danger lies. Power is seductive. I was a woman taking care of many children, and had only their best interests at stake, but I grew to be the enemy of those same children, and would have killed them if my powers had not been absorbed into Rinoa back at Galbadia Garden."

She paused a moment to take a deep breath, and then continued. "Rinoa holds the power of many sorceresses. The power from when I was young, and the power of Ultimecia. Should she be taken in by the power that they offer her, it would be a catastrophe. You must protect Rinoa, and be her knight, just as she asked you to be a year ago. You must help her fight it. If you don't, then certain--"

Edea broke off as Cid unexpectedly entered the room. Deeming it better to keep her husband in the dark about the situation with Rinoa, at least for now, she smoothly transitioned into "--elements of this office need to be brightened up. At least open up a window, Squall dear."

--Balamb Garden, 3f Office

Squall frowned at the interruption, but more from trying to process all the new information. His Rinoa? The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Edea had made it sound like she was going to be another Ultimecia! He vowed never to let her slip away from him.

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Never, Rinoa. I am your knight and I'll protect you until I die.

Thinking of Rinoa made him realize the note in the pocket was still unread. He stood from the guest chair and motioned to Edea. She understood and rose from the chair.

"Cid, I had just popped by to say hello to Squall while I waited for you to return to your office. I have something I must show you."

Cid nodded but turned to Squall. "Squall, I was just thinking, this office really _could_--"

"Now, Cid."

"Yes dear," he replied, throwing his hands up in the air with a small smile. Squall saluted the Headmaster and watched as the couple left the room, Edea closing the door gently behind them.

Squall settled now in his own chair and opened the note.

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Squall,

I'm sorry about what happened last night. And I'm sorry I couldn't explain it to you. I couldn't... because I can't explain it myself, really. I think that there's a power growing inside of me, maybe something new, or something that I've had all along. Whatever it is, it's strong. I think with time I can learn to master it, so don't be afraid. Sometimes I just feel myself.. slip... and then there's a popping sound and I'm somewhere else and I can't remember what's been happening. Or sometimes it's like watching myself do something, but I can't control it. That's when it scares me the most. I'm worried I'll hurt you. I couldn't live with myself.

Squall frowned a moment. After that sentence her writing changed, became jerky and almost child-like. He resumed reading.

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I'm writing this in the kitchen, hoping you will come down soon.

I'll be waiting here.

Please forgive these things I do.

Help.

--The House, Kitchen

Zell yawned, 8:45, late though it seemed, found him tired and cranky. They had been up until 4 am that morning cleaning up the glass downstairs, and all he needed now was some caffeine. He stumbled down the stairs still half-sleep and plodded into the kitchen. To his surprise and pleasure the coffee had been already made earlier in the morning, so he simply poured himself a cup and sat down at the table, blankly staring into space.

A noise behind him made him jump. He turned and saw Rinoa leaning on the door frame, one arm across it. She was deathly pale, but her eyes glowed with some power or energy he hadn't realized she possessed.

"Hello, Zell."

Wow! This was the longest chapter I've ever written. Hopefully it wasn't too long or dark for anyone! 

Thanks to everyone who's been reading, especially those below who reviewed the last chapter!

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Rinoa Leonhart- Ohmygosh you reviewed all the chapters! Thank you so much! I finally got around to saying what was wrong with Rinoa, yay!

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Karla- You reviewed again! You're so sweet! I felt bad I had to make Squall fake-smile too hehe. Keep going on the Matrix! 

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Isis- You think that it rocks? Oh man! *blushes* Hope this chapter didn't disappoint!

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Spirit Dragon- Ok, now I'm really really blushing! Thanks for sticking with me even though I didn't update in so long! 

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lilsingin'gem- You demanded more, you got more! Yay!

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Cloud-123- Thanks for the review, please keep reading and let me know what you think!

Next time: What happens to Zell!!!


	7. Your Eyes

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Seven: Your Eyes

-- The House, Kitchen

Zell half-way rose from his seat, still holding the warm mug in one of his hands. He gestured to the chair across from him and gave Rinoa a small, tentative smile.

"Hey Rin, sit down and have a cup of joe with me..."

He watched as Rinoa ran her fingertips down the doorframe. When they reached as low as her arm would allow, she glanced at Zell and then trailed them back up the frame. She slowly sauntered into the kitchen. Zell turned a slight shade of pink, Rinoa was wearing one of Squall's white T-shirts again, but she had opted to not wear shorts with the shirt this morning, and a good deal of her leg was exposed, much more than Squall would have liked, at least.

_Oh man, Squall would **kill** us both if he walked in right now... this is just so wrong, this isn't like Rinoa._

He was relieved when Rinoa finally eased herself into the seat across from him, never losing eye contact. Zell began to feel extremely uncomfortable. He sat back down in his own chair and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

"Uhhh... hey Rin, did you sleep ok?" 

Rinoa looked down for a moment, and then looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"I could have slept better... I was frightened last night... it would have been nice to have someone beside me, to protect me and keep me warm..."

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Oh Hyne, this is so NOT where I wanted this to go.

Even as Zell realized the conversation had left the stage of being platonic friends well behind, he left something rub his leg, just above his ankle. He was so startled that that he jumped, and a good deal of the coffee in the mug he was still holding sloshed out and onto his lap. He winced as the hot liquid ran over his skin, but his face began to look truly pained when he looked back to Rinoa, who was still running her foot up and down his lower leg.

"I could have slept better with someone beside me."

Zell was growing increasingly nervous and unhappy with the conversation. As much as the logical part of his mind told him to get up and leave the table, his concern for his friend won out, and he stayed put. He leaned across the table, his eyes communicating how worried he was.

"Uhhh, Rin... I'm sure that if you **told** Squall that he's be, um... more than happy to help you out, ya know?"

Rinoa leaned across the table to meet his gaze.

"Who says I want Squall?"

That was about as much as Zell could handle. He pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. He threw his hands to either side of him and shouted in his well-known, passionate yell:

"Come on, Rin, this isn't funny or anything! You're making me nervous and I-, damn it, **we**- we're all worried about you! We want to help you! Let us!"

Rinoa stood up as well, and closed the distance around the table from herself to Zell remarkably quickly. She stood so close to him that Zell could see every detail and line of her face. She looked up at him, her dark eyes glowing with some deep emotion or power- he wasn't sure which.

"You'll help me, Zell?" she whispered softly. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and half against his will and half due to his worry for his friend, he allowed himself to be embraced and even felt his own arms go around her in a tight hug.

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I don't know what to do, Rinoa... I wish I could just squeeze whatever's wrong right out of you! Damn!

Zell began to relax as Rinoa remained still in his arms for a few more moments. He wondered if all she needed was just to be reassured that there were people there for her. Certainly everyone had down days. and Rinoa had gone through a lot yesterday. He could certainly understand if she acted--

Zell froze in mid-thought, horrified, as Rinoa lifted her face from his chest and softly kissed the skin right under his jaw line. He wanted to think he had imagined the whole thing, and maybe he could have done so, but he felt her do kiss him again, this time closer to his ear. Her lips lingered there as she whispered,

"Help me... you have as much to gain as I do, young man..."

Zell pulled away from her roughly.

"Rinoa! What are you doing?! I can't deal with this anymore, so knock it off!"

Rinoa stood still a moment, looking up towards the ceiling. Slowly, she lowered her head so that her eyes met Zell's. Zell began to back up slowly, wanting to get out of the kitchen, and away from this situation. As worried as he was about Rinoa, he didn't feel that his saying there would help any at the moment. He watched as Rinoa took three quick strides towards him, and he tried to turn around and leave quickly. As he turned, however, he found himself face-to-face with the wall. Feeling a little panicked inside, he turned back to Rinoa. She was staring at him with the same intense eyes as before, but now instead of being filled with seduction they were filled with malice. She spoke quietly to him, her voice almost a hiss.

"You scorn me and my offer? I only offer once, and to refuse means you're against me! There's only one other choice for those who oppose me, and I'll be happy to help you with it!"

Zell blinked in horror as he felt two hands tighten around his throat. He put his hands on her shoulders to push her away, but was amazed to find that not only could he not get her to loosen her grasp on him, but he couldn't even get her feet to budge from where they seemed rooted to the ground.

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Rinoa... what are you doing? How did you get so strong? Why are you doing this...?

"Rinoa..." he managed to gasp out. He felt her hands grow even tighter, and his heart was beating fast with fear. He looked her in the eyes as spots began to appear all around him.

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Whose eyes are those? 

He dimly heard someone call out for Rinoa, but after that the spots seemed to multiply by the hundreds and after one last bright explosion of color, Zell's world went dark.

--The House, Front Door

Squall burst through the front door, the car still idling in the driveway. 

"Rinoa!!!" he called out. He paused a moment, hoping she would either appear in front of him or that he would at least hear some sound. The house seemed too quiet. When he got no reply, he ran from the door through the living room and into the kitchen. What he saw when he got there made him stop so suddenly that he skidded a foot or two on the hardwood floor.

Rinoa, standing with her feet braced apart, both of her small hands around Zell's throat. He watched, frozen in shock, as Zell whispered Rinoa's name and then slumped over. Squall continued to watch as Rinoa released her hold on him and allowed him to fall to the floor. The horrible thud that Zell's body made as it connected with the ground jolted him from his state of shock and he ran to his friend.

"Zell!" he called out, as his lifted his friends upper body from the ground. "Zell, wake up! Shit!" Squall was unsure what to do to help a victim of strangulation. Lacking a better idea, he laid Zell flat on the ground and began chest compressions. After pressing five times, he leaned over Zell and breathed into his mouth, and then repeated the process again. He worked frantically, his dark hair falling into his eyes, which threatened to cry.

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Oh Hyne, what do I do? What is going on?!

As Squall leaned over the give Zell another breath, Zell's eyelids fluttered. Squall leaned close to his friend and watched with relief as Zell took a slow, pained breath, and then another. Zell opened his eyes fully and coughed, wincing with the evident pain it caused him. He turned his head slightly to look at Squall, whose face was still only inches above his.

"Please man, no more kissing Zell today..." 

Rather than wonder what that meant, Squall allowed relief to fill him as he sat back on his heels. The relief lasted only a moment, however. He wheeled around to look at Rinoa.

She was staring blankly across the room, completely emotionless and still horribly pale. Squall stood and went to her. He brushed her hair away from her face and whispered to her,

"Rinoa? Baby, you alright?"

Slowly she turned her eyes to his face. At first they seemed to register nothing, but then warmth began to fill them, and they became the eyes he knew, the ones that belonged to the girl he had pledged his life to always love and protect.   


"Squall...?" she whispered softly. Then she too began to fall to the ground. Squall's quick reflexes prevented her from connecting with it, though. He caught her lightly in his arms and lowered her to the ground. She was breathing and appeared to be in only a very deep sleep. 

Suddenly he heard the front door that he had left open in his haste to find Rinoa close. He heard several thuds and then the sound of heavy footsteps coming towards the kitchen. He looked left to Zell, who was still laying on the floor trying to regulate his breathing, and then to Rinoa, who was asleep on his right.

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Whoever this is... I can handle them on my own... I'll die to protect my friends and my love.

He had just begun to rise from the floor as the intruder came into view.

Squall was so shocked that he has back down on the floor. There, in the doorway, stood Laguna. He was juggling two suitcases and a smaller bag. Laguna looked first to Squall, then at Rinoa, and then at Zell. Finally turning to Squall, he dropped the rest of his bags and scratched the back of his head.

"Hey kiddos, what's going on in here?"

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Hey everyone. Yeah... I know its been like two months since I updated. A lot's been going on (put normal sorry-I-didn't-update excuses in here) and I really didn't feel like I had the time or energy to devote to writing a good fic. Things have finally calmed down and I do believe that I can began to write again... I just didn't want to only do something halfway as well as I could have, ya know? Anyway, an important note about this chapter:

~*~It was originally a lot darker. I edited it down **a lot** to keep it PG-13. However, if people would like me to go full-out with the darkness when the story calls for it, please let me know and I will definitely consider changing the rating so that I can keep you guys happy. 

And now, just because I haven't been around in a while doesn't mean that I forgot how to say thank you! Thank you to all my reviewers, specifically:

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Karla3- hey you! sorry I haven't been able to review your stories in so long, like I said I've been busy, but I have read everything you've been writing and you rock! Thanks for you review, I hope you're happy with this chapter ^_^

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Old User- Thank you for the review, and look! I finally continued!

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RinoaLeonheart1- Sorry this update wasn't ASAP... but I still hope that you like it! I got my instant messaging back, so i.m. me sometime!

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DemonRyu(nsi)- What a sweet review! And what you said is exactly what I am going for... I don't want Squall to die to cause it to happen... so thanks for catching that! Please enjoy this chapter! =)

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Rebekka- Thank you lots for your review! I got the update done, please read and let me know what you think ^_^

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Rinoa Lockheart- Hehe, I kept him alive, are you glad? Thanks for your review!

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Spirit Dragon- *blushes* Is it ok if I tell you that I love you? That was one of the nicest reviews I have ever gotten! Please let me know what you think of this chapter ^_^

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Becky- I luff you too. ;-)

So there you have it! Please review and let me know what you think! Much love to everyone who reads! Te amo~ Kupo


	8. The Morning After

Note: If I owned the rights to Final Fantasy VIII I'd be out gloating, not sitting here writing notes about how I don't own them. ^_^

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Eight: The Morning After

-- The House, Living Room

Rinoa could feel the bright light on her face before she opened her eyes. She could also feel the makings of an intense headache. She groaned softly and tried to look around, but her eyelids were so heavy it didn't seem she would be able to force them up. She felt her head being lifted from the hard floor and rested on something much softer... someone's lap. With what seemed a monumental effort, she finally gazed upward. Fuzzy shapes of dark and light began to come into focus, and Rinoa found herself staring into a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"Squall...?" she questioned softly. She watched as Squall pulled off one of his dark leather gloves and put his bare hand on the side of her face, his eyes communicating how glad he was to see her, and something else... something he wanted to hide.

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What's going on? Why am I on the floor? What's he keeping from me? I know him too well for him to be able to keep anything hidden from me.

She gazed up and into Squall's eyes, trying to discern what could have happened that he was afraid to tell her. Then above Squall's head, appeared another pair of eyes almost identical to his, but lightly creased with laugh lines around the edges.

"Hey there kiddo, how you holding up?"

"La... Laguna...?"

Rinoa was still too groggy to be startled, but she was still surprised. She tried to push herself into a sitting position with her hands, but she found her arms to be extremely sore, as if she had been exerting them a good deal recently. She felt a strong hand on her arm, and another on the small of her back as Squall lifted her enough so that she was able to sit up.

"Laguna, why are you here? Squall? Squall, what's going on? What's happened? Why am I on the floor, and why does my head hurt so badly?" 

She watched as Squall looked up to his father and they exchanged worried glances. 

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Oh no... did something bad happen again? Did I... did I do something terrible?

Laguna lowered himself down next to Squall nodded to his son. Squall appeared to steady himself inside and then looked into Rinoa's eyes. Rinoa stared back, hoping that Squall would tell her she was wrong, that nothing terrible had happened.

Squall opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes strayed to behind Rinoa. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she turned to look behind her.

At first, she only wondered when Zell was sitting on the floor. Then she noticed that he seemed to be unable to completely catch his breath. And then she noticed the deep purple marks around his neck... marks that almost seemed like hand-prints. Rinoa began to feel sick to her stomach.

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Oh no, not that... tell me this isn't happening... not me, oh please no...

"Zell...?"

Zell looked up and saw Rinoa staring at him, her eyes glistening with tears. He followed her line of sight and knew she was looking at his neck, and he attempted to cover the marks by reaching across himself with his right hand to scratch the back of his left shoulder.

"Zell... what did I do? Did I... hurt you?" she whispered softly, her voice so choked with emotion that it was barely audible. She reached out to Zell in an effort to show him how sorry she was, but Zell reflexively recoiled from the touch that had so recently hurt him.

Rinoa blinked, and a tear slid unbidden from each eye down her face. She withdrew her outstretched hand and clasped it with the other one in her lap and stared down at them. Zell appeared extremely uncomfortable and looked to the two men for help. Laguna stood up and offered a hand to Zell, who gratefully took it, standing with only a small amount of help from the older man. Laguna scratched the back of his head and addressed the room in a loud, overly cheerful voice.

"Hey, so where the heck are Irvine and Selphie? They sleeping late? They better not be getting up to anything **suspicious**, if you know what I mean!" He winked at Rinoa, who offered him a half-hearted smile, understanding that he was trying to alleviate the tense situation. "So hey Zell, lets go get those two delinquents out of bed!" Laguna crowed, pulling Zell out of the kitchen after him. In the doorway, Zell paused and turned back to Squall and Rinoa.

"Hey, listen Rin... don't worry about this, ok?" Zell said softly. He looked like he wanted to say more, but then decided against it and slowly turned to follow Laguna in the direction of the stairs.

Rinoa turned to Squall, and saw written on his face the same uncertainty that Zell was feeling. To see that fear on the face of the one she loved above all others terrified her.

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What have I done?

--The House, Irvine's Bedroom

"Irvy!"

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Gah... let me sleep a minute more...

"Irvy!!!"

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One... more... minute...

"**IRVINE! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!**"

Irvine groaned as he forced his eyes open. The first thing he saw was a pair of bright green eyes peering directly into his, only inches from his face. Then the previous night came flooding back to him... the party, the shattering glass, the incredible amount of cleaning up that had to be done before any of them could crawl into bed. He had been about to fall asleep when he had heard a light knocking on his door, and had known right away that it was Selphie. She had needed to talk to someone about the events of that night, and they had ended up sitting on his bed talking until they had gotten tired. They had reclined on his pillows, and he had put his arm around her to reassure her while they continued to express their worries about Rinoa's recent behavior. He had been talking for a few minutes when he realized that Selphie had stopped responding, and he had looked down at her face to find that she was asleep on his shoulder. Irvine didn't have the heart to move the girl he loved from his arms, and instead he kissed the top of her head and allowed himself to drift off to sleep as well.

The peaceful look Selphie had worn while asleep was gone from her face. Despite the fact that he was obviously awake, Selphie continued to push on his shoulder while hissing at him to wake up. Finally lifting himself into a sitting position, he held up both hands in defense.

"Hey Sefie, calm down! What's so important that you had to interrupt my wonderful dream about you?"

Selphie ran a hand through her hair, which was still a little messy from sleep. She gestured frantically in the direction of his bedroom door. "Zell and Laguna are out there!! What will they think if they find me here?!"

Irvine shrugged good-naturedly as he slowly got out of bed. "They'll probably say _about time_" 

Selphie shrieked silently at Irvine's joke as she looked around the room for a place to hide. Finally she decided that under the bed was as good as it was going to get on short notice, and as she scooted under she glared at Irvine, who was watching her with a bemused smile. 

"Sefie... nothing happened. They'll believe us if we tell them that, don't you think?"

Selphie poked her head out from under the bed and hissed "Irvine! There is no way I am letting Sir Laguna, the president of the most powerful city on the planet, to catch me spending the night in my boyfriend's room!" With those words, Selphie resumed hiding under his bed.

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What a way to start the day... never a dull day with my Sefie.

Irvine finally registered the constant knocking on his door and went to answer it. He opened to door to see the cheerfully suspicious faces of Zell and Laguna. He offered his hand to the president.

"Laguna! It's good to see you again! What bring you here so, uh... early in the morning?"

Laguna smiled. "It's good to see you too, Irvine. Why don't you invite us in and I'll fill you in on why I'm here."

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Oh Hyne... if I keep Selphie under the bed too long, she'll be pissed!

Seeing no way around the situation, he motioned for the two to enter his room, and ran to grab his desk chair for Laguna to sit in. Laguna held up a hand.

"Don't worry about it, Irvine. If it's ok I'll just sit on your bed...?"

Laguna sat directly above Selphie, causing the bed to emit a loud _OOOF_. Laguna chuckled. "Maybe if you came out, my little Miss Selphie, we would all be a little more comfortable?"

"Sir Laguna!" the bed said in a horrified voice. "This is NOT what you think!"

Laguna smiled, and then grew serious. "I hope that you can hear me under there then, Selphie. I've got some important news for all of you. First, why I'm here. I got a call from Edea Kramer last night. She was very concerned about what happened here during the party. She felt it would be a good idea for there to be someone here to keep tabs on the situation, and since you're all very important to me, I volunteered right away to come stay with you guys for a bit. Kiros and Ward will be fine running Esthar without me... they're the ones running the show most of the time anyway," he added with a small smile.

"But more importantly, I'm worried about all of you. Edea mentioned what she believed the trouble with Rinoa is, and frankly, I'm worried about your safety. I've seen firsthand what can happen when a sorceress comes to power, and I am afraid that--"

"Don't you compare Rinoa to Adel, Sir Laguna." Selphie had crawled out from under the bed and was standing in the middle of the room. She continued in a calm voice that carried deadly undertones. "Don't you compare Rinoa to anyone like that. Rinoa is the sweetest, kindest, and most gentle person I have ever known. And I won't listen to you for one more minute!"

Irvine watched in shock as Selphie calmly crossed the room and exited, closing the door softly behind her. 

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It looked like she was crying... poor Sefie...

Laguna was visibly distressed by Selphie's reaction, but he continued. "Edea has given me some instructions and a list of things to watch for. I'd like to have some time to talk to Rinoa alone today, as Squall is telling her right now. If you could go find Selphie and ask her to get dressed, I was thinking that I would give you four a few hundred Gil and you could go have a big breakfast, on me. What do you say?"

Irvine shrugged. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get out of the house... and who could turn down free breakfast? He motioned for Zell to help him find Selphie. As they left the room, Irvine noticed the dark bruises on Zell's neck.

"Zell! What happened to you, man?"

Zell shrugged in an embarrassed way and began to relate the morning's events to Irvine.

-- The House, Kitchen

"And so I think you should take it easy this morning, Rin... ok?" Squall asked. He looked across the table to Rinoa and squeezed both of her small hands in one of his larger ones. It had take a good twenty minutes for her to relax after he had told her what had happened, and she still looked stricken. 

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Maybe I shouldn't have told her everything... this stress can't be good for her... 

"And Laguna's here... I'm sure he will take good care of you... I'll tell him to cook you something good to eat... his cooking must be better than mine, right?"

His attempt to joke with her elicited a small smile, and Squall was relieved. He stood up and held his arms out. 

"And if you don't mind... you haven't given me a decent hug all day..." He watched as Rinoa pushed her chair back from the table and walked to him. She put her arms around him and as he held her he could feel her body trembling next to his. A wave of concern washed over him and he wanted nothing more than to protect her from the world outside their door. 

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Not too long ago I would have been terrified of these feelings. I owe so much to this girl in my arms. Rinoa... I'll protect you forever.

However, time intruded on them, as it always did. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, he pulled away and brushed the last tear from Rinoa's cheek. Selphie came bounding into the kitchen, and without one word pulled Rinoa into a tight hug, and whispered fiercely into her ear: "We love you Rinoa" and then turned and left the kitchen, following Zell, who waved on his way by the kitchen but had decided it would be best to just continue out to the car. Irvine popped his head into the kitchen to say hello and to let Squall know that they would meet him in the car.

Laguna entered the kitchen and pulled out his wallet, handing several bills to Squall. 

"Treat those friends of yours well, kid" he admonished. 

Squall raised an eyebrow at his father and nodded to Rinoa.

"I'll see you in just a little bit, ok Rin?" he said, trying to reassure her. He turned to leave.

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Swallow your pride, Leonhart

Turning back, he quickly kissed Rinoa on the lips, choosing to ignore the smile that broke out across Laguna's face. He quickly crossed the kitchen floor and, as was his custom, did not look back. Getting in the driver's seat of the car, he was overcome with a sense of foreboding. 

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Please.. let it be alright when I get home...

Wooo! Longest chapter I've ever done! I am going to hug myself now!

*hugs*

And where would I be without my lovely, lovely, lovely reviewers?

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DemonRyu- thanks for your review! Teehee... but I'm not gonna tell you why she went to Zell first! You're gonna have to wait and see! Hope you liked this chapter!

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bembem- thanks! hopefully you will think that it has a nice middle and end to it, too! please let me know what you think of this chapter after you have read it ^_^

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Karla3- I was so scared of the monkeys that I updated right away! And thanks for your idea about the rating, which I think it what I am going to do from now on, just post a little disclaimer! If I have time later, I will try and go back to redo chapter 7 to include what I cut out before. What did you think of chapter 8? And keep those monkeys away from me! ^_^

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SpiritDragon- *dedicates chapter 8 to you* You are gonna give me such a big ego!! Hehehehe. I'm scared that I will let you down, now! Let me know what you think of this chapter, I hope that I didn't disappoint you! ^_^

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The Real Rikku- I'm really really really really really really glad you like it! *hugs* please review and let me know what you think of chapter 8!

You too can appear in my thank you section, just review! ^_^ I read and listen to every single one! I'll e updating again soon, I seem to be on a roll. Until then, Te amo~ Kupo.


	9. Climbing to the Clouds

Note: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII. But I do own a spiffy new pair of shoes. *pastes pictures of FFVII characters onto her new shoes*

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Nine: Climbing to the Clouds

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office

Squall sighed and pushed his chair away from his desk. He usually enjoyed work, as it gave his orderly, logical mind orderly, logical things to occupy itself with. However, during the past week, Squall had found himself more and more preoccupied with the situation unfolding around him at home. 

Laguna had arrived exactly eight days ago. While Squall was never delighted to see his father, he found that Laguna's presence there had given a calming effect on his nerves. He was glad to have someone there to watch over Rinoa, who day by day grew angrier and more unstable.

--FLASHBACK--

Everyone was sitting at dinner. Zell made a remark about Selphie's cooking and Selphie howled in mock anger. Everyone had burst into laughter, even him. Rinoa had sat in stony silence. Selphie looked at her and attempted to lighten the situation.

"See? At least Rinoa likes my cooking, she's not mean like the rest of you!" she declared as she gave Rinoa a thumbs up. Rinoa looked at Selphie for a moment, then roughly pushed her chair away from the table and left the room

--END FLASHBACK--

"Squall was brought out of his reminiscing by a knock on the door. He cleared his throat, which had seemed to tighten while he was thinking of Rinoa. Quickly running a hand through his dark hair, he called to the person on the other side of the door to enter. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Squall" Quistis said, with a small bow she couldn't help suppress.

Squall shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever... don't worry about it. And don't be so formal around me, either."

Quistis smiled and took a seat in one of the chairs opposite Squall's desk.

"You know... you really ought to get some new chairs... and think about redecorating... this whole office is way too formal."

Squall shrugged again and opened his mouth to speak, but Quistis beat him to it.

"_Whatever_, I know." Squall sent her a sharp look and she smiled serenely. "But Squall, I was thinking about something. I can't imagine you are getting very much work done when you're so worried about Rinoa... I think you should go home and spend some time with her."

Squall frowned.

_What? Does she think that I can't do my job just because I'm worried about Rinoa?_

"I don't think it's that you're not able to do your job, if that's what you're thinking," Quistis added hastily. "I just think that maybe you would feel better about everything if you two were able to spend some time alone, to talk and work things out." She frowned in concern and touched the skin under her eyes. "And maybe you might sleep a little better, too..."

It was true that he had not been sleeping well at all. Most nights began with him pacing the floor of his room, and ended with him sitting downstairs in the kitchen, still no closer to finding a solution to help Rinoa than he had been when the night began. The dark circles under his eyes were a testament to that.

"Maybe you're right, Quistis. But I couldn't go see Rinoa right now even if I wanted to. Laguna thought fresh air would be good for her, so he took her hiking in the mountains today."

Quistis held up a note with the name of a mountain trail and a phone number on it. "This mountain? Laguna left this note this morning in case you needed to get ahold of them."

Squall took the note from her outstretched hand and smiled slightly.

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That sounds more like something Rinoa would think to leave, not Laguna.

Squall signed and looked down at the stacks of paperwork on his desk. He felt himself wanting to leave, but he knew that his work would continue to pile up until he buckled down and finished it. Quistis followed his gaze and stood up.

"Are those applications to Garden? Oooh, those are my favorite!"

She went around the desk and pulled Squall up from his chair. "Off you go Commander," she admonished with a wink. Sitting down in front of the desk, she uncapped a pen and donned her glasses. "I'll have these finished by the time you get back. Now go!"

Squall smiled despite his best efforts to look stern.

"Alright Quis... and... thanks."

"Don't mention it. Now get outta here before I change my mind!"

Squall bowed to Quistis on his way out of the office, making her laugh. As he pushed the elevator button, he pulled the note from his pocket. He waited until he was inside the elevator to read it. 

Squall recognized the name of the mountain trail as a popular route up Cloud Mountain, a peak just outside Timber. 

Hopping into his car, he left the Balamb Garden parking lot and began to drive in the direction of Balamb. He knew that the fastest way to get there, short of commandeering the Ragnarok, which was in for a tune-up, would be to take the transcontinental railroad under the ocean, which ran direct from Balamb to Timber. As he drove, his thoughts wandered.

--FLASHBACK--

He came upon Rinoa sitting on the back porch, absently chewing on the eraser of a pencil, a sketchbook in her hand. She turned to look up into his face, shielding her eyes from the sun. The bright rays caught the highlights in her hair and illuminated the soft glow of her skin, and he was at a loss for words. Rinoa smiled up at him and pulled on the neck of his shirt, drawing him down and closer to her. He could still feel her gentle smile as their lips met.

--END FLASHBACK--

Squall gave the woman at the booth the 3000 Gil needed to board the train and sat beside the window in the SeeD cabin while he waited for the train to begin moving. He leaned his head against the cool glass.

--FLASHBACK--

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He could hear arguing upstairs. He looked over at Zell and Laguna, who were engaged in a fierce game of Triple Triad. He motioned to Irvine, and together they headed for the stairs. Soon the two voices became recognizable as Selphie and Rinoa. They found the girls standing face to face, and were just in time to hear Selphie scream at Rinoa that she didn't recognize her, and that she hated the way everyone had to walk on eggshells around her. Rinoa slapped her across the face and Selphie went silent. Rinoa cast them all a cold look, shook her head slightly, and left the room.

--END FLASHBACK--

The train burst out of the tunnel and into the sunlight. Squall watched the countryside fly by for a few minutes, and then stood as he felt the train slow down. After disembarking, he found the car rental agency and rented a blue sports car. As soon as he was out of town he slammed it into fifth gear took off in the direction of the mountain. 

--FLASHBACK--

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Squall yawned as he made his way back to his room.. it was 4 am and he hadn't slept at all the entire night. Rinoa... he couldn't stop thinking about her, what was happening to her and what he could possibly do to stop it. He paused in mid-step, hearing a noise he didn't recognize. He paused in front of Rinoa's door, and his heart broke as he heard Rinoa sobbing disconsolately inside her room. He ran his fingers over her door and was about to knock when the sobbing abruptly stopped. He heard Rinoa admonish herself, and call herself a pathetic girl. He listened to her argue back and forth with herself, and his blood ran cold as he heard her whisper "Don't fight it... it will be all over soon" He opened the door without knocking and found Rinoa sitting calmly on the side of her bed. She looked up at him and smiled, asking him what was wrong.

--END FLASHBACK--

Squall parked the car in the lot at the base of the mountain. He recognized Laguna's car by the emblem on the license plate and laid a hand on the hood of the vehicle. It was cool, and Squall knew that meant that they had been there for quite some time. He cursed himself for not grabbing better hiking shoes before he had caught the train and began to climb the trail. It was peaceful, and the woods surrounding him bustled with small animal life. 

--FLASHBACK--

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Last night he had been sitting in the living room with Selphie and Irvine, discussing plans for adding additional classes to the Garden curriculum. He realized he had forgotten a schedule book in his room, and left to go retrieve it. He slowed as he passed Rinoa's door, surprised that it was open... she had been spending more and more time alone in her room with the door closed. He hated eavesdropping on her, but she had stopped answering his questions about her behavior. He listened as she spoke to someone he couldn't see. "I'll take care of him tomorrow... tomorrow it will all be better again..." He knocked on the frame of the door, and leaned into the room. He watched as Rinoa put down a phone receiver and smiled at him guilty. "I hope you didn't hear that Squall... Quistis and I are planning... well... its going to be surprise..." She looked so sweetly hopeful that he shook his head, smiled, and left to get his folder. Back downstairs he smiled as he poured himself a cup of hot tea and joined Irvine and Selphie again. Everyone was relaxed, the chamomile tea was Quistis' personal specialty. He wished Rinoa was there to join them

--END FLASHBACK--

Squall frowned as he hiked up the trail, it was getting steeper and he could feel the blisters that were beginning to form on his heels. Something was bothering him, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

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What was she planning with Quistis for today?

He looked around, the trees had grown more sparse and thinned-out, and he knew he was approaching the tree line.

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Why didn't Rinoa come down and join us, I know she would have if she had known that Quistis had just made that wonderful tea...

He paused to catch his breath, Cloud Mountain was more of an effort than he had thought it would be.

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Wait... something's not right...

He frowned, took a deep breath, and began to run in the direction of the summit.

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How could Rinoa be on the phone with Quistis...

He was sprinting up the mountain now, paying no heed the branches that whipped his face as he climbed higher.

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When Quistis was already downstairs making tea?!

A horrible scream cut through the cool mountain air. Squall yelled for Rinoa as loud as he could, and ran faster than he had ever thought possible. He broke through the brush and arrived at a small clearing, the summit observation area. It was a flat, grassy plain surrounded by a wooden railing to keep unwary sight-seers from leaning too far over the edge and falling down the extreme rocky incline below. His breath caught in his throat. Where was Rinoa?

He scanned the clearing back and forth before finally catching sight of her near the leftmost railing post. She was looking down and screaming, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Squall ran to her and pulled her to his chest. 

"Rinoa..! What's happening, are you alright?!"

She sobbed and collapsed against him, but though her tears was able to motion towards the railing. 

Squall slowly and softly lowered Rinoa to the ground. He took a deep breath and looked over the edge of the summit. 

What he saw made him violently ill. He fell to the ground beside Rinoa, shocked and sickened beyond any words. He looked at the girl he loved, who remained crumpled on the ground with her face in both her hands, crying as if her heart was broken. The words he had heard he say yesterday came flying back to him.

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I'll take care of him tomorrow...

Rinoa....

Woo! There's Chapter Nine, all done! I told you guys it would be getting dark soon! I hope it wasn't too confusing, with all those flashbacks... I was trying to make it seem kinda chaotic, but I hope I didn't lose anyone in the process! And to Laguna lovers out there... well... I'm a Laguna lover too! So you have to know how much it hurt me to write this chapter the way that I did. Thank you to my lovely sweet reviewers! ^_^

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The Real Rikku- Oh my gosh! The best you have read?! *hugs you* I am a big Squall/Rinoa fan too... I am going to try and put as many sweet moments between the two of them into the story as I can... but this one is turning out pretty dark, huh? ^_^ I hope you liked this chapter!

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Karla3- I am still living in fear of your rabid monkeys! I need therapy, I cant even go outside without looking over my shoulder! O_O I am superb? *dies of joy* No way! Thanks so much for your review, I'm glad that you appreciate all the background that I tried to put into the fic before getting into the hardcore storyline! Update "Chance or Choice" soon, I love it! *high fives back to you*

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Bembem- Oh my gosh! You read the whole thing at one time? You rock! I'm so glad you like it so far! I'm glad you like Squall in this fic... I try hard not to make him too stern, but I don't want to make him over-emotional or OOC either, so yay! Did you like this chapter? ^_^

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Squeakychris- Thank you so much for such a sweet review! As to the Rinoa=Ultimecia theory... I've heard it and parts of it make sense... but as for this moment that's not the direction I am taking this fic! But hey, this is subject to change, so don't quote me on that! =P I hope you like this chapter, let me know!

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Old User- *wide eyes* Favorites section?! Wow! Yeah! I'm so honored to be in one of those! Thanks for being such a faithful reviewer, I hope this chapter was up to your standards too! :-)

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DemonRyu- I'm sorry about Laguna! *bows apologetically* But I had to do it! I love him too! Hehe, thanks for enjoying the part with Selphie and for noting the build-up to the real issues. I hope you liked this chapter even though Laguna got the axe. I'll owe you one, hehe.

Anyway, that's it for this chapter! Please everyone, keep reading and reviewing, those reviews really do make my day and keep me motivated! Stay tuned, and I will update soon! Te amo~ Kupo


	10. You've Known All Along

Note: Well, in a crazy game of poker against Squaresoft, I won FFVIII. But in the next hand I went double or nothing and lost it again. I swear it was rigged.

Additional authors note: So I've been really busy trying to get all my schoolwork in order for next semester... and I've been playing waaaay too much FFX-2. Don't hurt me for the no updating-ness! Please? ^_^

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter 10: You've Known All Along

--Timber Hospital, Waiting Room

Zell stood up and ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair. 

"I can't take this anymore! When are they gonna let us know what's going on in there?!"

He looked from face to face. There were many people gathered, waiting to hear news of Laguna. There was a group of Esthar officials standing in the corner, discussing amongst themselves in quiet voices. Kiros and Ward were also present. Ward gave Zell a pained look and Kiros just stared sadly at Zell for a moment before returning his gaze to the floor. Desperate for some type of reassurance, Zell turned to his friends. 

Irvine sat on one of the couches, one arm protectively around Selphie, and was resting his head in the other hand. He didn't look up at Zell, and Zell wondered if he had even heard him. Selphie sat quietly, her face nestled into the side of Irvine's neck. Zell could hear her crying softly. Uncomfortable, Zell returned to his chair and sat down. He felt a hand on his arm, and looked up to see Quistis. Her face was pale and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"Zell..." she offered quietly. "Zell, what can... what can we do...? There must... I should know... what can I do to-" she halted as her voice broke. Zell jumped up and hugged Quistis tightly, he understood how she felt she needed to take control. 

_Quistis always tries to look out for all of us... when really she's just as confused and frightened as we are._

As he rubbed Quistis' back, he looked over her shoulder at Squall and Rinoa. Rinoa sat in one of the single chairs, her knees pulled up to her chest, her feet resting on the seat. She was resting her forehead on her knees and Zell couldn't see her face. Squall stood across the room, his back to the group, as he had been since everyone had arrived at the hospital. He had one hand on the wall and the other clenched at his side. He seemed to feel Zell looking at him, and for the first time turned around to face the people gathered there. Zell was shocked by the haunted look on Squall's face, and Quistis turned to look when she felt Zell tense up.

Squall's face was ashen, but his eyes shone brightly. Zell was taken aback for a moment before he realized that Squall's eyes were filled with unshed tears. Squall stared at Zell for a moment. Roughly running a hand across his eyes, Squall gestured at himself.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? I'm fine, don't worry about me. I can't handle your pity anymore!"

Selphie looked up at Squall. 

"Squall... we're not pitying you... we're here **with** you, we feel the same way you do! We need you just as much as you need us..." she trailed off softly.

"I don't need anything!" Squall protested angrily, and held a hand to each side of his head. "What do I have to worry about?! I just have to decide whether to stand by my father, which is still a joke in itself, or to stand beside the woman I love, who probably shoved the damn guy over the edge!" He cut himself off quickly, realizing he had said too much, but in his heart he knew it was already too late. Rinoa was staring at him, hugging her arms to her chest. 

"Rinoa..." He spoke quietly, and began to move towards her. Rinoa stayed still a moment longer, and then with a soft cry she stood and fled the room. 

The room was silent for a moment, and then Squall turned on his heel and went back to where he had been standing before, his back to the group once more. 

"Squall," Irvine called from the couch. "What is wrong with you, man? Go after her!"

"......No," Squall replied after a moment. Everyone seemed to be taken aback by the lack of emotion in Squall's voice, but from his vantage point only Zell could see the tears that finally slipped from Squall's eyes to stain his shirt below.

--Timber Hospital, Parking Lot

Rinoa stood outside the hospital's main entrance, leaning against a stone column and waiting to see a cab that she could hail down. Every time she heard the hospital doors whoosh open and shut behind her, she hoped that she would feel Squall's arms encircle her from behind, that she would hear him whisper in her ear that he loved her, that he didn't believe she was capable of doing such awful things. But as the people bustled around her, she slowly began to realize that he wasn't coming to find her. Suddenly Rinoa felt she lacked the strength to stand and slowly sank until she was sitting on the curbside. She watched as the cars drove past until she lost track of time. 

"He'll be better cared for in Galbadia anyway." 

The familiar voice pulled Rinoa from her reverie and she looked behind her to see her friends finally leaving the hospital. Suddenly panicked, Rinoa moved behind the pillar so that they would not see her as they continued past. She listened as Selphie continued.

"In Galbadia... they'll find something to help him wake up, right?" Rinoa watched as Irvine kissed the top of Selphie's head as they continued towards the car. Quistis halfway nodded an answer to Selphie's question.

"Of course they will!" Zell declared, although his voice lacked conviction. 

Rinoa moved again so that she could watch as they all got into the car. Behind everyone else walked Squall. He moved heavily, as if the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders alone. 

__

I want to run to him, to hold him and tell him everything is alright... like I used to...

Rinoa watched as out of deference to Squall's state, Zell, Selphie and Irvine all crammed in the backseat to give Squall the front passenger seat. She watched his face, looking for a sign that he wanted her, needed her. As Quistis started the car, Squall looked out the window. 

Rinoa's heart stopped as she realized that he was looking directly at her. She held up a hand, a tentative wave, unsure of what she could do to make him see how much she needed him, how frightened she was of being left behind, of being left alone. 

_We're the same, Squall... we're scared of the same thing... Don't leave me... we are the same... and I love you..._

Squall made no motion to her, and continued to hold her eyes with his until Quistis started the car and drove away.

--House In Balamb, Squall's Bedroom

Squall sat stiffly at his desk. In front of him was a clean sheet of paper and a pen. He picked the pen up and again tried to figure out exactly what he needed to write. Frowning, he wrote down two words, and drew a vertical line between the two of them. His frown deepened as he heard a knock at his door. He called out for them to come in.

Kiros entered the room and softly shut Squall's door behind him.

"Hello Squall," he said with concern.

Squall was startled to have one of his father's best friends show up in his bedroom so unexpectedly, and jumped up to offer Kiros his hand. Kiros took it and shook it briefly. 

"Please, sit down, sir," Squall began, and offered Kiros the chair that he himself had just been sitting in. Kiros sat down and looked at Squall expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well what, sir? Is there something you needed?" Squall asked, rather confused.

"I'm just waiting for you to ask me what you've been thinking about ever since you left the hospital."

Squall sighed and looked down, a hand to his eyes. Kiros paused for a moment and then continued.

"Laguna would tell you to go after her, you know?" Squall looked up, shocked that Kiros knew he was thinking about what someone else might do if placed in the same situation. "Laguna's one of my best friends, and I know he would never leave someone who was in trouble. It's one of the reasons I admire him so much. Sure... he might be a total dunderhead when it comes to public policy and to remembering people's names... but he truly cares about other people. He cares about **you**, Squall... he sometimes just doesn't know how to express it," Kiros explained, and then added with a smile, "A trait you and he share, I assume?" 

Squall frowned. 

_I don't have time to be thinking about this. I need to decide what I'm going to do... what's the right choice?!_

"Laguna would want you to go after her. You don't know how proud you made him... when he found out that you went into space to save her, that you fought for her at the sorceress memorial, that you found each other through the chaos of time compression... he stood up and yelled 'That's my kid!!!' He knows how much you love Rinoa, and he would understand your need to go after her."

For the second time in the same day, Squall felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes. To hide his face, he walked to his window and looked out. Sighing, he spoke softly.

"So it wouldn't be...?"

"A betrayal? Because he's your father? No, Squall. Nothing would make Laguna prouder than to see his son stand beside the woman he loves."

_Maybe I've always been just a little too hard on Laguna. I guess I felt betrayed that he let me sit in the orphanage, parentless, while he went off and had adventures. And it's always been safer to keep those feelings inside than to let them out and destroy the fragile peace between us now. But maybe... maybe he's understood that all along._

Squall turned to face Kiros.

"Thank you," he replied, earnestly. Kiros nodded, gave Squall a reassuring clap on the shoulder, and watched as Squall fled from the room.

--Centra, Field of Flowers

Rinoa sighed heavily as she sank to the ground, surrounded by flowers that held such memories for her. Brushing her hair back from her face, she looked around for a moment, looking for someone she knew wasn't there. Clasping her necklace that still bore both their rings, she called out aloud:

"This is where we are supposed to meet! When we're in trouble... when I need you... I come here and you find me! You promised! Squall!" she cried out, her voice trembling and breaking. "Find me! I need you!"

__

He's not coming... I've chased him away... how could I expect him to come for me? There's something wrong with me! I don't know how to fix it! But I can't be alone! I can't be without him! I love him!

__

"You're not alone."

Rinoa jumped up.

"Squall?" she called out, scanning the field around her. Seeing no one, she began to cry anew as a feeling of fresh desertion washed over her again.

__

"You're not alone if you don't want to be."

Rinoa hesitated before a timid curiosity got the better of her. 

"Who's here?" she called out, not really expecting an answer.

__

"Your knight has left you alone. He doesn't care for you anymore. You're a poor, lonely woman. It's alright to feel frightened. But you don't have to feel alone."

"He didn't leave me! He just needed time to figure things out! He loves me, no matter what! Even if the world is my enemy! He told me he always would!"

__

"Then where is he?"

Rinoa had no answer.

__

"He's been gone a long time. I think it's best you realized that he's not coming back."

Rinoa began to get angry.

"Who are you? Come out and let me see you, coward! How could you think you know anything about me?!"

There was no answer, and Rinoa began to relax. Maybe she had been imagining it all, a result of the tremendous stress of the day. Then, suddenly:

__

"I can't come out."

"Why?!"

__

"Because I'm already out... because I am you."

"What? This doesn't make any sense! I'm right here, how can I be imagining this? I'm not crazy!"

__

"I'm that part of you that's been sleeping. I've been trying to wake up for some time now... I've been watching you, I've seen how the others have hurt you, shunned you, been frightened of you... and I've seen how the one you love above all others has left you on your own. That's why I'm here, Rinoa. You don't have to be alone anymore. You need someone, don't you? You're a weak girl, but that's alright. Together, we will be strong. I will never leave you, like your fallen knight has."

"That's not true! This isn't happening, it's all in my head!"

__

"If it's all in your head, what's the harm in indulging in a little fantasy? One final fantasy?"

"I'm not alone! Go away!" she called out to the flowers around her, clenching her fists at her sides.

__

"I assure you, you are alone. But it doesn't have to be that way. Give in."

"Go away!"

__

"Give in, you'll never feel the pain, the betrayal of love, again."

"No..."

__

"Give in!!!"

"I... won't... ever..."

__

"I'm done sleeping. Give in to it, Rinoa"

Rinoa cried out as she felt a pressure build inside her head. She held a hand to each of her temples as she crumpled back to the ground. Her heart beat furiously and an unbearable pain began to build inside her, radiating out from her heart to every point in her body.

__

"Give... **IN!**"

With a bright explosion of colors all around her, Rinoa moaned softly as she slipped into unconsciousness.

"Squall..."

--Centra, Field of Flowers

Squall paused at the edge of the field, scanning the area in front of him. 

__

I thought for sure that she would be here... it's where... we promised.

A splash of color that didn't belong caught his eye. A bright blue, barely visible. He ran toward it as fast as he could, his heart in his throat. When he got to her, he was horrified to see her curled up on the ground.

__

Oh no, please not again... let her wake up!

He pulled the gloves from his hands and gently turned Rinoa over, resting her head in his lap. He brushed her hair away from her face and whispered her name softly, much in the same exact way she had once done for him after time compression. He closed his eyes, unable to bear the guilt that assaulted him for ever leaving her alone.

"Squall?" 

"Rinoa?!" He cried out with joy, pulling her close to him. After he released her, he looked deeply into her eyes and spoke earnestly, his voice cracking with emotion. "Rinoa, I'm sorry I left you alone. I am now and forever your knight. I love you too damn much to ever let you go. Where ever you go, I will follow. I... I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out."

Rinoa smiled and laid a soft hand to the side of his face.

"It is alright, Squall. I understand."

Squall laid his hand over hers. "But what about you? Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Yes, fine. I was just... sleeping. But I'm awake now. And you're here. Everything is... perfect."

Squall was confused by her choice of words but decided not to peruse the matter until later.

"Let's head home, Rinoa... everyone is worried about you," he said, taking her hand and helping her to her feet. Rinoa slipped an arm around his waist and nodded with a slight smile. 

"Yes... let's go home."

Okie, there we go! Finally! Like I said before, my life has been pretty insane lately, I am working all the time and trying to get everything in order for my next semester at college, but I always knew that once I had time to return to this, I would. I will try and update again when I can! Please review ^_^

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eDSta- This one's for you, man! Thanks for the email, let me know if this one was up to par with the rest of them!

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Noacat- Thank you thank you thank you! I love your stories, I was so excited to see you review one of mine. *bows, is honored*

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aZnDrEaMeR1788- Thanks for your review, and yep! You bet it's gonna get more complicated!

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bembem- Just for you I decided to keep Laguna alive... for now! Mwahahaha!

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DemonRyu- Where did you get a Laguna doll?!?! I want one! *pouts* Let me know what you think of this chapter =)

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squeakychris- I'm glad you liked the flashbacks, hopefully you didn't get too lost. I was trying to make them all from really recent situations, it's my bad for not explaining that one better =P Was this chapter good, too?

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SpiritDragon- I love you. You're such a sweet reviewer. Teehee. Let me know what you think of this one, ya?

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Ariennye- There you go, some more! Thanks for your review, tell me what you think of this chapter, too!

That's all for now, loves! (See... I told you I've been playing too much FFX-2! LeBlanc, oy!) Te amo~ Kupo


	11. Fork in the Road

Note: My New Year's resolution was to save enough money to buy the rights to Final Fantasy VIII, but on my way to the bank to get the money I saw some shoes I really liked.... and then another pair.... and then another pair....

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Eleven: Fork in the Road

--The House in Balamb, Front Hall

Irvine held the door as everyone else entered the house. It hurt him to see the defeated looks in the eyes of his friends, and especially in his Sefie. Everything, from the way she carried herself to the way to the way she spoke, belied the turmoil she was feeling inside.

__

I don't blame her... it's gotta be so hard for her to choose between her best friend and what logic tells us is happening to Rinoa...

He caught and held Selphie's eyes as she followed everyone else into the hall. He closed the door behind her and softly pulled her into a comforting embrace. Her arms rested around him lightly, fragile as leaves shaking in a breeze. He leaned down and whispered in her ear,

"Sefie... maybe you should go get a little rest. I'm gonna make a few calls and get us all excused from SeeD duty today, alright?"

Selphie nodded slightly, managed a thin smile that lacked all of her usual sunshine, and turned to walk towards the stairs and her bedroom. Irvine leaned against the front door and ran a hand over his eyes. 

__

Feel better, darlin'.

As he rested there, he became aware that he was holding a posture common to Squall when he was in thought. Irvine's worried frown increased as he remembered what had transpired while they had traveled home from the hospital.

--FLASHBACK

The car had been silent as Quistis navigated from the highway onto the route that would take them back to Balamb. To ease the uncomfortable quiet, Zell had leaned forward front he second row of seats to click on the car radio. Heavy metal music assaulted everyone, and Quistis immediately switched it to a classical station. For a few minutes everyone listened in quiet to the lilting tunes of flutes and harp. The piece ended, and an ad began.

__

"Have you found that someone special? And now you know its the right time to make that big commitment to the one-of-a-kind lady in your life? We know that making choosing a ring is a big decision, but we know that if you stop by Canary Diamond in Fisherman's Horizon you won't be disapp-"

Quistis gasped as she realized what listening to such ads might do to Squall and quickly turned the radio off. Irvine had sneaked a glance at Squall, but the ad hadn't seemed to register. The uneasy silence returned. Irvine sighed softly, found Selphie's hand and squeezed it for a moment, and had looked out the window.

"Stop the car for a moment, Quistis."

Everyone in the car had looked up, surprised. Quistis seemed to hover in indecision for a moment, but then slowed the car and pulled onto the road shoulder. Cars beeped as they sped past, it was a bad place to stop. Only about one mile ahead was a busy intersection where the route split in two, one road heading east toward the tunnel to Balamb, and the other heading south towards the Centra continent. 

Irvine watched in only half-surprise as Squall turned in his seat to face his comrades. His eyes held each of their for a moment before he spoke.

"I... can't go back by myself. I need to go to Rinoa. I need to find her. I need her. I can't explain it any better than that."

Zell had spoken up then.

"Squall man, you're her knight. We understand. Just go, for Christ's sake. You don't have to explain yourself to us."

Squall nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt. He exited the car and crossed the street in front of them. Quistis sat in the driver's seat, frowning deeply. With a soft cry, she jumped from the car and followed Squall across the street to a gas station. Irvine watched from his window and Quistis appeared to try and convince him of the danger that might await him should he go off on his own. From across the street Irvine could see as Squall held his hand to the side of Quistis's face for a moment, said something, and then let his hand fall. He turned from her and continued towards the station. As Quistis stood on the opposite side of the street waiting for a break in the traffic so she could rejoin the group, Irvine continued to watch Squall as he approached a man filling his vehicle's gas tank. Quistis returned to the car, wordlessly started it, and merged back into traffic and began head back home.

Irvine rested his head on the glass of the car window and began to be lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly, the sound of a motorcycle assaulted his ears as it roared past at high speed. Irvine didn't need to guess who had either negotiated or threatened his way into borrowing the sleek black machine. Both their car and Squall's motorcycle were approaching the route fork. Irvine could hear as Squall pushed the bike harder and faster. He shot in front of the car, crossed the lane, and headed towards Centra.

The car remained quiet until Selphie spoke up.

"He's gonna be ok... isn't he?"

But no one had dared to break the heavy silence to reply.

--END FLASHBACK

Irvine pushed himself away from the door and wandered into the living room. He pulled a photo album from the bookshelf and thumbed through it. He smiled at the memories that came back to him as he relived the happy days caught for brief moments through a camera lens. He paused at one of Rinoa and Squall. Squall had been seated in a chair, and Rinoa had been standing behind him, leaning down with her arms around him and he face pulled close to his. She was grinning happily and those who knew Squall well could tell from his posture and slight smile that he was happy too. Irvine's attention was caught by Rinoa's necklace, which still bore both her and Squall's rings. It had fallen from her shirt when she leaned over to embrace Squall. Looking at the two rings, Irvine understood that the bond the two felt would never be broken, come hell or high water. The thought both comforted and unnerved him.

He continued to thumb through the pictures, but paused as he heard the door shut, and he froze as he recognized the footsteps as Squall and Rinoa's.

--The House in Balamb, Living Room

As Squall closed the door behind himself and Rinoa, he listened for a sound that someone was home. Sensing more than hearing someone in the living room, he took Rinoa's cool hand and led her in that direction. Irvine was seated on the couch holding a book in his lap and appearing casual, but the tense look in his eyes betrayed his indecision. Squall cleared his throat and tried to sound normal.

"Hey Irvine, Rinoa decided to come home," he said as routinely as he could. He could sense Irvine hesitate for a moment, but he must have seen the pleading look in Squalls eye's and shook off his apprehension.

"Hey girl!! Good to see ya, we were all worried about you," he said, too brightly, too loudly for it to sound quite normal, but Rinoa didn't seem to notice. She accepted Irvine's hug and glanced over his shoulder at the photo album that lay open on the couch. 

"Squall, could you get me a glass of water, please?" she said calmly. Squall nodded, glad that she had said something, she had been entirely too silent on the way home for him to feel comfortable. He cocked his head at Irvine, communicating his wish for Irvine to follow him into the kitchen. Squall looked over his shoulder as they left the room. Rinoa had settled on the couch and had picked up the photo album, trailing her fingers lightly over the pages as if she could touch days gone by. 

--The House in Balamb, Kitchen

Zell frowned at the mess he had made. Bread crumbs were everywhere, along with measuring cups and bits of chicken.

__

How hard can it be to cook some Shake n' Bake chicken? I knew I should have gone with hot dogs...! 

Zell thought dismally, as his attempt to feed everyone so that they could relax and process everything without having any extra worries seemed to be failing miserably. He froze as he heard footsteps come his way, and was not very shocked to see Squall enter with Irvine.

He feigned indignation when Squall cocked an eyebrow and said sarcastically "And I thought the border dispute between Galbadia and Timber was a mess..." although secretly Zell rejoiced to hear his friend make any kind of joke, even if it was at his expense. He motioned towards the table and chairs, but Squall shook his head and went to the cabinets to retrieve a glass.

"Rinoa wants some water," he explained, filling the glass from the tap.

Zell sneaked a look at Irvine, who shrugged. Zell scratched the back of his neck and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. 

"Oh yeah? Is she, um... ok?"

Squall turned to face him and held his Zell's eyes with his cool blue ones. 

"I don't know, Zell. But I know I can't leave her to face whatever is happening alone. I promised to stand by her no matter what, and I won't go back on it. Even if the world turns against her."

Zell was so shocked by Squall's conviction and emotion that he was taken aback. Unsure of how to respond, he held out his hand. Squall looked confused for a moment, but then put down the glass of water, took Zell's proffered hand and shook it briefly.

"So will we, Squall."

The moment was broken by soft laughter from the living room. Squall picked up the glass of water and walked towards the laughter, and Zell and Irvine followed. 

--The House in Balamb, Living Room

Selphie paced her room restlessly. She knew that Irvine was right, if she got some sleep she'd be able to think more clearly and hopefully feel better about the whole situation. Her stomach growled. Glad to feel something besides worry, Selphie decided to head down to the kitchen and grab a bite to eat. 

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she stopped in surprise. There, sitting on the couch as if nothing had happened, was Rinoa. Rinoa glanced up from the book she was looking at and smiled slightly. 

"Hello," she began, but had no time to finish as Selphie ran from the foot of the stairs and enveloped her in a tight hug. 

"Rinoa! I knew that you'd come home! I knew that Squall would find you! We're all so sorry about what happened, and we don't blame you! We're your friends and we love you so much!" Selphie cried, overwhelmed.

"So much joy, just for me? You shouldn't. " Rinoa spoke softly, more to herself than to Selphie. Selphie just shrugged and smiled, and then she noticed the book which she had knocked to the floor when she had hugged Rinoa.

"A photo album! Oh Rin, this is one of my favorite ones, from our vacation to the Centra coast!" she exclaimed.

Rinoa smiled again. "Tell me your favorite memories of the trip," she asked lightly, and Selphie was happy to oblige. Lost in her remembering, she scarcely noticed when Squall and the other men entered the room. Looking up, she was surprised to see how shocked they looked to find the source of the laughter as something normal, not malevolent. 

"Rinoa and I are reliving the Centra vacation," she explained with a small giggle, and gestured for everyone else to join them on the couch. Zell shrugged good-naturedly and plunked himself down on the couch next to Selphie, and Irvine stood behind them and leaned his elbows on the back of the couch and he looked over Selphie's shoulder. Selphie raised an eyebrow at Squall, who had yet to join them. Squall paused a moment with a glass of water in hand, and then crossed the room, handed the glass to Rinoa, and halfway sat on the couch's armrest next to Rinoa. Selphie could sense that Squall was tense and the aura of worry and fierce protection he was feeling towards Rinoa and was glad for it. She knew that Rinoa would need help to face whatever was plaguing her.

Rinoa smiled again and looked up at Squall this time. "Squall, what do you remember? Tell me everything."

--Void.

Rinoa looked around herself, everything was black. It was as dark and frightening as time-compression had been. 

"Help me!!" she called out into the darkness, but there was no answer. 

__

Where am I? she wondered, feeling desolate. _What happened? The last thing I remember... going to Centra... my head was hurting... I was fighting... fighting who?_

Fighting a growing panic, she cried out as loud as she could for help.

'What's going on?!!" she sobbed, but again received no answer. Crumbling to her knees in the darkness, Rinoa wept for herself and for Laguna, and for whatever else she had been a party to but couldn't help. Through her tears, she sensed a change in her surroundings. She looked up, and the was a hazy circle of white light hanging in the darkness all around her.

Startled, Rinoa stood and advanced towards it. Trembling, she reached out one hand and touched the light. It shimmered underneath her fingertips, and then began to move. A moment later, she found herself looking at Selphie's smiling face. 

"_Rinoa! I knew you'd come home! I knew that Squall would find you! We're all so sorry about what happened, and we don't blame you! We're your friends and we love you so much!_" Selphie cried with joy. Rinoa felt relief well up inside her, her friends knew where she was, they would help her, Squall was on the way! But then Rinoa paused. Something was wrong.

"_So much joy, just for me?_" Rinoa heard a voice ask. In growing panic, Rinoa noticed who was sitting beside Selphie, and she began to realize that Selphie wasn't seeing **her** at all. She was seeing someone else, someone who she believed was her. Her heart in her throat, Rinoa called out to the Selphie in the ring of light.

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How is this possible?! I'm right here, that's not me! Oh Selphie, look at me, I'm right here!

"No, Selph! I'm here! Look at me!" but Selphie didn't seem to hear her as she happily began flipping through the pages of a photo album and chattering about what each meant to her. Tear spilled down Rinoa's cheeks as the rest of her friends joined Selphie. None of them seemed to hear her cries to see her. Suddenly the view shifted and she found herself looking at Squall, who was smiling down at her softly. She heard herself ask him to tell her everything, and thought her heart would break as she watched him lift her hand and brush it lightly with his lips.

Rinoa screamed into the darkness again, but there was no one there to answer her cry.

Word up! Chapter Eleven is done! Yay. I don't know if the whole "void" thing was confusing or not. Just imagine a big dark place that seems to go on forever. At least, that's what I imagined. If you see any similarity to the movie "Dreamcatcher", adapted from the Stephen King book, that's sorta on purpose. I loved the idea of being able to be conscious and see yourself doing things, but to be unable to do anything about it except watch. Freakayyy!!! =P

I dedicate this chapter to Karla's monkeys. May there be many years of peace between them and I. 

and also many thanks to the reviewers of chapter ten!!!! lovies!!!!

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Rinny Leonheart / Rikku- Yep, there is def. gonna be some more evil Rinoa coming up! I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know, ya?

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Noacat- Teehee, poor Squall. He doesn't even have a clue yet! Or does he? I'm not telling! Mwahaha! I'm a sucker for romance too though, so I will see what I can do for ya in later chapters. I hope you liked this one =)

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squeakychris- Heh, who knows if I am gonna turn Rinoa into some sorceress we've already heard of? Well... I do, but I'm not telling about that yet either! Thanks for the comment about Squall, because it took me a long time to think about what he'd do if placed in a situation like that. I'm glad you agree with me! How was this chapter for you?

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DemonRyu- Hehe, yeah, its probably a good time to start getting worried about Squall. Thanks for saying such nice things about the last chapter though! I feel like I have so much to live up to! 

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OrionsDefender- Ok, from now on I'm just gonna post warnings for graphic content or language! Hold on to your socks!

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Edsta- No worries about not reviewing sooner, if anyone understands how busy life can get, its me! hehe, and if you can find me a publishing company, I will make a book! And then I will threaten people on the street if they don't buy it!!! (evil cackle) Let me know what you think about this chapter!

Karla3- Yay for chocolate! *eyes monkeys warily* I hope this chapter and dedication was enough to keep them at bay! Hurry up and throw those chapters of your story up, I wanna read them!!! Hehe, give me feedback on this chapter if you get the chance =P

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Cusp of a Butterfly- Like a movie?! I am so honored! Woohoo! And I even found time to turn off the ps2, hehe. I hope you like this chapter!

Ok everyone, that's it for now! Next chapter will be sneaky-evil Rinoa! Mwahaha! Te amo~ Kupo


	12. Finger Food

Note: I am going to say that I own Final Fantasy VIII so that when they sue me for copyright infringement I can counter sue for mental anguish and suffering. I will make millions! And then I will buy Final Fantasy VIII. Don't tell me it won't work. It will.

PLEASE NOTE THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA STEAMY. I AM RASING THE RATING FOR THIS CHAPTER TO R. 

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Twelve: Finger Food

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office.

Squall sat stiffly at his large mahogany desk, his lips pressed together tightly. On his left was a small and neat stack of treatises, contracts, and other miscellaneous Garden documents bearing his signature. In front of his rested the day's final document, a negotiation between Esthar and SeeD for protection of high-ranking officials during the nation's 300th year celebration. It was a tall order, two Rank A SeeDs to each official, and Squall didn't like it.

_Old men… government is so corrupt, no wonder they are afraid to go out in public. Despite all my father—despite all Laguna's reforms… there are many under him who try to undermine his authority…_

Tired of  debating the pro's and con's of the situation, Squall decided that it would be best to agree with Esthar for now, the country was already in a state of great disarray as word began to leak out of Laguna's accident and subsequent mystery surrounding what could have happened. The rumor was that a political radical had followed Laguna up Mt. Cloud and pushed him over the edge when Laguna bravely refused to put his signature to a document releasing a dubious gang leader from prison. 

_At least no one has found out what really happened… or what didn't happen… up there…_

As he uncapped his pen, there was a buzz from the phone on his desk. Putting down the pen, he pressed the red intercom button.

"Yes Xu, what is it?"

"Sir, Rinoa is here to see you."

"Go ahead and send her in, I'm almost done here anyway," Squall replied, then released the button and pushed back his chair. Rinoa had not stopped by the office for several days, which was uncommon. Ever since the defeat of Ultimecia, they had fallen into somewhat of a pattern that worked for both of them. Rinoa had made it known many times that while she did not oppose SeeD or what they stood for, she had no desire to join or become one. So while Squall and the others were at work she would involve herself in causes for those who needed help in the community. He had always been proud of the way she gave so selflessly of herself to others. 

But lately the routine had changed. Since he had brought her home from Centra, her whole demeanor had changed. It was in no way threatening, and thank Hyne that those strange fits had seemed to have stopped… but Squall felt like something was a little off. She had always been so talkative. It was one of the things that he had hated at first, but grew to love and look forward to. Now she was much quieter, preferring to let others guide the conversation, to sit back, listen, observe. 

_She's been through a lot too, Squall. Don't forget that. She just needs time to regroup. She needs to know that there are people there supporting her all the time, people who love and trust her. This proves that things are getting back to normal, I bet she's even brought something to eat, just like she used to…_

The door opened with a muted click and Rinoa stepped smoothly into the room. Squall's breath caught in his throat and he found himself frozen, halfway risen from his seat. Rinoa had pulled her hair back from her face and it was pinned to the top of her head, falling in gentle curls and waves about the sides of her face and the back of her neck. She wore a low-cut black lace halter top, and a two-layered black skirt, one layer black fabric and the top layer some sort of black silk. Two high-heeled black shoes completed the stunning ensemble, and Squall found himself speechless. 

Rinoa smiled easily and shrugged. 

"I felt like dressing up."

Pulling his eyes away from her body, he met her gaze.

"Rinoa… you look great—I mean, you look _really great. I didn't expect you to come here looking, um, so nice… if anything, I thought you were, uh, just bringing over some lunch," he said quickly, mentally berating himself for stuttering and for losing so much of his poise._

_One sexy woman in front of my desk and all that SeeD training goes right out the window…_

Rinoa continued to hold his eyes with hers as she shrugged.

"Who says I have not brought anything to eat?" she asked playfully, and pulled a small bag out from behind her back. "Now sit down, I will get everything all ready."

Squall lowered himself back down to his chair and watched as Rinoa pulled different cartons from the bag and set them down carefully on his desk. She sat down on the opposite side, facing him. Squall smiled.

"Hey Rin… I'm gonna go grab some plates, ok?" he explained as he stood up. Rinoa rose with him.

"No Squall, it is alright… sit back down," she said with a sparkle in her eyes.  Squall felt the beginnings of a worried frown cross his features, but he did as she had asked. Rinoa moved from her side of the desk to his and pushed his chair back slightly. She slowly lowered herself onto his lap and wrapped one arm around the back of his neck. Softly she kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear.

"I will just feed you myself… if that is alright with you…?"

Squall swallowed thickly, still in a somewhat of a stupor. She was so close to him, he could smell her soap and her shampoo. Her chest, so close to his face, rose and fell softly with each breath. He could feel himself start to blush furiously.

_Oh Hyne… is this really happening? This is so not like the normal Rinoa… but who am I to complain?_

"Rinoa…" he breathed quietly, looking into her eyes. Rinoa didn't give him the chance to look as long as he would have liked, for she pulled his face close to hers and locked him in a deep kiss. When they parted for a breath, Rinoa flashed him a seductive smile. 

Taking the initiative this time, Squall drew her to him and held her tightly. He could feel her fingers in his hair as he deepened the kiss and could also feel his own subsequent reaction to this intimacy. He shifted her on his lap so that she was straddling him, never breaking their intense kisses. Rinoa quietly moaned his name and Squall could take it no longer. With one sweep of his arm, all the carefully stacked papers and all the food Rinoa had brought with her fell to the floor below. Putting a strong hand to each side of her waist, he lifted her from his lap and onto the bare desk. Her skirt had ridden up to her thighs and he pushed it higher. Rinoa tugged at his shirt and he helped her to pull it over his head. He could feel her smiling under his kisses, which she returned with a great passion that he hadn't realized existed.

They had made love before. Many times, in fact. The first time had been the night he had asked her to marry him. However, in the past few weeks he had not attempted to proposition her because of all the strange happenings, and she had seemed to have no interest in any intimacy either. This was a welcome, and wanted, change.  

He slid his hands from her thighs to the bottom of his shirt. Running his hands up her sides, he peeled the top from her body and over her head. Her hair had fallen from its carefully pinned style and cascaded around her. He felt her hands at his waist, pulling on the buckles. Once she had undone them, he stepped out from his pants. With his hands on her shoulders, he slowly pushed her down so her back was pressed to the desk. He could feel an intense energy coming from her, and he wanted to be a part of it… a part of her. And so they became one.

_Rinoa… I love you so much_

--TWO HOURS LATER

Squall lay on the floor, his head resting on Rinoa's bare chest. His hair clung to his damp forehead. He could feel Rinoa's fingers in his hair, twirling the strands slowly. He lifted himself from her and rested on his elbows, looking at her. She looked back at him, her dark eyes deep and intense. 

"Rinoa?"

"Mmm?"

"What was that? Not that it wasn't great- it was! But what happened? I've never known you to be like that, you know?" he asked, genuinely curious. He watched in surprise as her eyes filled with tears. 

"Squall, I know I have not been… very well lately. I just wanted to make sure that you knew how much I love you, and how much I need you…"

Moved by her explanation and her tears, Squall leaned forward and kissed her cheek where a tear had streaked across it. 

"Rin… I love you more than anything else on this earth… I know I'm not always very good at showing it, but… I need you too." He said tenderly. With a wink he added "But I also need my clothes… Let me sign one more paper and then we can get out of here a little early for the day. What do you say?" he asked, as he pulled on his rumpled pants.

Rinoa nodded and pulled on her skirt and halter top, and then crossed the floor to stand behind him while he pulled the unsigned document between Esthar and SeeD from the mess on the floor. 

"What is that one about?" she asked.

"This? It's a contract for SeeD to protect the old Esthar government cronies during the celebration of Esthar's founding," he explained, signing his name to the document. 

"It sounds important."

"Well, yes it a way it is. It's very important for us to keep the peace whenever possible," he replied, pleasantly surprised in the interest Rinoa was taking in his work. He stood and scanned the room, looking for his shirt.

"I will bring it to Xu for you, since I am already dressed," she said with a small smile. Squall nodded and handed her the document, and she turned and left the room with it. Squall resumed his search for his shirt, and eventually found it under his desk. Pulling it over his head, he smiled slightly.

_What was that?_

--Void. 

Rinoa sat in the darkness, her face in her hands, her back to the strange window into the real world. She had watched in horror as Squall had fallen to the charms of her imposter… and as they had begun to make love. 

_Should I feel betrayed? Squall thinks that's me…but **why** can't he tell the difference? Doesn't he know me well enough?_

Hoping that it was over, she turned back to the mirror. She found herself looking at Squall as he stared into the false Rinoa's eyes. She heard him ask her what was different, and for a moment she believed that he had realized something was wrong. However, he seemed satisfied by the reason he was given. She watched for a few more minutes as they talked, and then Squall handed her the contract between Esthar and Garden. 

Rinoa felt anger rise within her as she watched Squall lean down and kiss her softly on the lips, but the anger turned to dismay when the strange window followed the false Rinoa out of the room and into the hallway.

_I want to see Squall…_

She watched as "Rinoa" paused outside Squall's door to read the document carefully, a smile playing on her lips. With a nod, she folded the paper and entered the door directly on her right, Xu's office. 

Xu stood and held out her hand. 

_"Rinoa, you've got the contract? Great! This needs to be send out tonight and I'm way behind in the paperwork… Do you mind running down the briefing room and letting the SeeDs chosen for the mission to be ready to go for 6 am tomorrow? I wrote down all their names, so really all you have to do is read them off."_ Xu explained with an apologetic smile. _"I hate to make you run errands, but it would be such a big help…"_

Rinoa watched as her imposter smiled and said it would be no problem to run down and read off the names, she was headed in that direction anyway.  She took the list and exited Xu's office. As she walked down the hall, she appeared to read the 6 names on list, and her lips curved upwards into a cruel grin, which disappeared from her face when she reached the briefing room. Looking every bit the innocent helpful Rinoa, she paused outside the door and spoke quietly to herself.

_"If the SeeD was not able to notice the difference, there is no way that these fools will either…"_

Rinoa watched in surprise as her double turned and seemed to look directly at her. 

_"Don't you know what's going on yet? Don't you know who I am? Why I have done what I have done? Squall will never leave me, I just proved it. I can make anyone my loyal servant, but he will be one of my finest. And now, Rinoa… If you will excuse me, that is… I have a war to begin."_

With a final smile at the true Rinoa, the other turned and entered the room where the six SeeD sat, awaiting their orders. As the window into the real world turned dark, Rinoa sank to her knees again.

_What can I do? How can I fight? Oh, Squall…help me. I'm all alone…_

Ok, there we go. That was my very first attempt at writing anything remotely sexual, so if you gotta flame me about it, please don't be too mean or I will cry *puppy dog eyes* I know this chapter didn't have too much action-action in it, its kinda like the last breath before the plunge into the big issue at hand. I really wanted to reinforce the idea that Squall isn't going to leave Rinoa, and that this weird possessed Rinoa is very, very good at fooling everyone. And I suppose that if you can fool someone when you're that intimate with them, you can fool almost anyone, right? And she's sneaky too! And no worries, I will explain exactly who she is in the next chapter, so be patient! But enough from me, it's time for my thank you's!!

**squeakychris****-Wahoo! I am so glad that you liked it. I am really trying to keep everyone in character, and sometimes it is so hard. Hope this one was good =)**

**Cusp of a Butterfly- **Hehe, I hope you got to stay up late and read this one, too. I'm glad that you weren't confused by the whole "watching yourself" thing either. Let me know what you think of this one =P

**Karla3-** OMG, monkey hugs! For me?!?!?! *so happy she dies* And you gave me one of the nicest, well-rounded reviews I have ever gotten. Really. After reading it, I really felt happy, and I'm glad to think that I've grown as a writer! Come back from Queensland so that you will update and then I can write YOU good reviews. Yay for monkeys!

**Noacat****- You loved it? *gets teary eyed* I feel so special! And ya, it's gonna start getting sad soon! I will be crying right along with you. I hope that you liked this one =)**

**Evan'sRinoa****- Hehe, well at least for now, I would say that you don't have to worry about Rinoa dying. It's not in the cards as I see the story right now… just hope that I don't' get writers block and need some kind of action to happen *wink* Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter =D**

**DemonRyu****- Heyhey, thank you! You know, if I do decide to go in that direction, you win the award for being most perceptive, hehe. And I agree with what you said, she really is above and beyond most of them. Please review and let me know what you think, ya? =)**

**eDSta****-Hehe. I loved Kingdom Hearts, too. I'm glad you like the mystery in it, sometimes I worry that people will lose interest if I make it too dark. Was this one any good? =P**

You guys make me so happy when you review. Please everyone keep reviewing, it absolutely makes my day and keeps me motivated =)

Next up: WAR!!!!!!! 


	13. Locked Doors

Note: I still don't own Final Fantasy VIII, but I figured it out… if I eat nothing but Ramen Noodles for the next 220 years, I will have enough money saved up to buy it! *gets out fork*

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Thirteen: Locked Doors

**_Disarm you with a smile_**

**_And cut you like you want me to_**

**_Cut that little child_**

**_Inside of me and such a part of you_**

**_Ooh, the years burn_**

**~smashing pumpkins**

--Balamb Garden, 3F Corridor.

Zell leaned against the smooth wall and rubbed the back of his neck. Around him there was a small congregation of underclassmen, talking and giggling amongst themselves. Today was Thursday, the first day that his martial-arts study group was scheduled to meet. He was excited to instruct the course and wanted to get the preliminaries out of the way, and for that, he had booked one of the official Garden briefing rooms. However, when he had arrived there 20 minutes earlier, he had found it still occupied by six SeeD still awaiting mission orders. Since he couldn't simply kick them out when they were waiting for their mission, he had ushered his student back into and down the hall to wait until the SeeDs were done. 

"Um, Instructor?"

Zell paid no heed to the student questioning him; he was still not used to being called an official title.

"Excuse me, but Instructor?"

"Nah, Quistis is down on the second floor in her classroom," Zell answered absently. 

"But… but sir, I think that the SeeDs are finally getting their orders, sir," the cadet finished up lamely, gesturing down the hall towards the briefing room door. 

Zell watched in surprise as a female figure dressed scantily in black reached for the door handle. 

_When did **that become standard Garden uniform?**_

He began to move quickly down the hallway, wanting to make sure that the woman that the clearance to be on the third level of the military facility. The woman, hearing the nearing footsteps, looked up for a fleeting moment as she entered the room.

Zell stopped in his tracks. 

"Rinoa…?" he said aloud, more to himself than to her. All he received in response was a cold stare that chilled him to his core and a door closed firmly in his face.

"Tch. Huh… what is going on in there?"  He wondered aloud, running a hand through his hair. Although Rinoa had seemed to be returning to normal since Squall brought her back from the Centra continent, the events that had transpired before that were still not far from his mind.

_Best to stay close… just in case. Not that anything bad will happen… but… just in case._

He looked back down the hall and noticed that all of his students were watching him curiously. Not knowing what else to do, he waved at them, and then as an afterthought held up his open hand. Five more minutes.

_I hope that's all it is… for more than just one reason._

Feeling every bit the bad friend and the spy, he casually leaned close to the door to see if he could catch anything that Rinoa was saying in the room, but it was strangely quiet. 

_Hell, what's going on in there? Nap time?_

Zell's thoughts drifted uneasily until they were interrupted by a succession of muffled thuds. Deciding that enough was enough; he threw caution to the wind and grabbed the doorknob. It stayed firm in his hand and wouldn't turn. He tightened his grip and tried again, but to no avail. 

_What's with these doors? Well... I suppose it **is** a military facility, makes sense for everything to be locked down all the time. But lockdowns are no match for Zell "The Machine" Dincht, baby!___

Mentally psyching himself up, he took the doorknob in both hands turned it was all his strength. The metal inside the door latch groaned as it yielded under his strength, and then with a soft popping sound, his half of the doorknob released and was in his hands. Glancing down the hallway towards the cadets once more, he chuckled nervously. 

"Uh, just showing how your martial arts training can come in handy any day. One more moment, please-"

Using his fingers, he reached into the small cavity in the door where his half of the handle had been and easily pushed the tumbler lock out of place. With a deep breath, he opened the door and was instantly blinded by a brilliant light. 

--Esthar, Presidential Office.

Ward watched Kiros as he explained the security measures which were being taken to ensure the safety of all public figures present during the celebration to be held the next morning. He knew that security was indeed an important issue to most Estharian citizens; since the end of the war with Ultimecia their technological nation had been thrust into the limelight and was turning into quite the tourist attraction as well as a haven for those unhappy with their old cities and towns. Ward eyed the officials. Next to Laguna, these were the men that ruled their country. 

_Mr. Rush, Mr. Knightley, and Mr. Bloom… you've made some enemies, haven't you?_

These men were what remained of the old ruling aristocracy of Esthar… before Laguna arrived and instigated so many drastic reforms. While this old triumvirate had accepted Laguna's presidency without complaint, they still held great power with the older, more conservative Estharian families and great influence over public policy and opinion. While they might not be the most popular, the masses still identified them as some of their "founding fathers", and as such they needed to be protected.

"…Every security measure," Kiros continued. "We expect SeeD to arrive at 1600, or within the next four hours, at which point they will be escorted to their quarters within the palace. At 0630 the next morning, they will be dispatched to your rooms in the palace and will serve as your escort until 0100 the next morning. We don't anticipate any problems."

The three men looked to each other and seemed to come to a consensus. Mr. Rush stood up, nodded, and held out his hand to Kiros.

"That should be sufficient, Mr. Kiros," he stated. After shaking Kiros's hand, he took Ward's. Following his lead, the other two men stood and shook hands with the two friends. The three exited the room and left Ward and Kiros alone.

_I hate those guys… I wouldn't be surprised if someone did try to off 'em during the celebration tomorrow…_

"Yeah, me too," Kiros added with a conspiratorial wink at Ward, reading his face. "But if they did get knocked off, we'd be in serious Behemoth dung. The older families would be outraged and fearful, people would call for vengeance… and worse than all of that… we'd be stuck ruling the country until Laguna recovers…!"

_I just want this whole celebration to be over already, it's not really a celebration unless Laguna's there…_

Kiros smiled sadly and put a hand on Ward's shoulder.

"I hear ya, man… I hear ya."

--Balamb Garden, 3F Corridor.

"No!!!!" shouted Zell, holding his hands in front of his eyes to shield them from the brilliant light. Slowly, the intensity dimmed and Zell found himself staring at Rinoa, her hand on the window shade cord.

"Zell… is everything alright?" she said worriedly, although a small smile played on the corners of her lips. "I thought it was a little too dim in here and I was opening the curtains to let some light in. I hope that is acceptable," she added.

Zell shrugged sheepishly and put both hands on his hips. 

"Uh, yeah… sorry Rinoa. I guess I'm just a little excited to get my class underway. But I thought I heard strange noises in here, and I got a little worried for you, man." He looked around the room, everything seemed to be in place, and the SeeDs appointed to the Esthar mission sat calmly upright in their seats. 

Rinoa nodded.

"Yes. I believe we are done here," she said, and gestured for the SeeDs to rise and leave the room. As one, they rose and exited the room single file.

_They sure are quiet… and what's with their faces? Did they freeze? They're all… blank and stuff...?_

Rinoa followed Zell's stare and shrugged nonchalantly. 

"They are simply concentrating on their mission, I am sure," she said decisively. Before giving Zell a chance to respond, she continued. "Now, I am sure that you would like to get your teaching underway, so I will get out of your way." With the same small, strange smile teasing the edges of her mouth, she nodded to him and left the room. 

Zell stood where he was, lost in his thoughts for a moment. He was sure that he was missing something, but, come to think of it, he was always pretty sure that he was missing something. Glancing in the direction Rinoa had walked, he noticed his class gathered around the doorway waiting to come in.

"Oh jeeze, sorry you guys! Come on in. The first thing that we are going to learn is how to take apart a door should you need to get into a room. As you saw by my excellent demonstration, it's actually very easy…"

--The House in Balamb, Dining Room.

The group of friends gathered around the table. Squall was apprehensive, as it was Irvine's night to cook dinner, and while it was never awful, it was certainly always very… interesting. However, that night Irvine could have cooked an old tire and he probably wouldn't have noticed. All his attention was focused on Rinoa.

_I know that it's crazy. But I can't help it… she's magnetic. All day long… there's been something about her that pulls me in, and then the rest of the world doesn't matter anymore._

While everyone else ate, he found himself tracing the lines of her neck with his eyes, the curve of her chin, the way she held her fork. Everything seemed so different, like he was seeing her for the first time. It was unnerving, but at the same time exhilarating. 

_What is it that I'm feeling? Maybe even the great Squall Leonhart becomes a romantic every now and then… but… why haven't I felt this before? Why just now?_

"Squall, you're not eating."

Pulled from his reverie, he looked over to Selphie. She was watching him with a playful smile. 

"I mean really, there's going to be plenty of time **after dinner to stare at Rinoa. Irvy tried really hard to cook something good for once, and—HEY!"**

Selphie broke off as Irvine socked her lightly in the arm.

"What do you mean, for once?" He said defensively. "I cook good things all the time; I don't know where you've been for all of my meals!"

"I've been getting take-out!!" Selphie hooted gleefully. Zell snorted and choked back laughter, and Quistis put a hand to her mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her own laughter. Feigning hurt, Irvine held a hand to his chest.

"I'm outnumbered here! It's not fair!" he cried out, and pulled his napkin from his lap and threw it at Quistis. In a bout of playfulness, Quistis threw it back. Within no time, there were napkins flying everywhere.

_It's only a matter of time before its more than just napkins flying around…_

Glancing over at Rinoa, he was surprised to see her watching him closely. Inclining her head slightly to the right, she stood up with a small smile to the group and left the table. Following her signal, he rose as well and followed her out of the room. The rest of their friends barely noticed as Squall's prediction had just come true and the first spoonful of potato had just flown from Selphie's spoon and splattered on Quistis' forehead.   
  
He entered the living room and scanned the room. The sun had gone down hours before and there were no lights on in the room. Rinoa wasn't there. Intuitively, Squall headed for the stairs and made his way upstairs. He knocked at her door but there was no answer. 

"Rinoa…?" he called softly as he opened her door. He was surprised to find her room empty. A frown creased his features as he shut her door and crossed the hall to his own room. He opened the door and felt for the light switch.

"Don't turn it on."

Squall paused, somewhat startled. Suddenly, he felt two arms encircle his waist from behind. The light spilling into his room was cut off as the door closed behind him. He turned, and before he had time to think, Rinoa's lips had already found his.

_~early the next morning~_

Squall awoke from sleep with a frown. Something was wrong. He looked down, Rinoa was fast asleep, her head on his chest. Instinctively, he tightened his arm around her and tried to relax. 

_Something's really wrong._

He couldn't seem to shake off his feeling of foreboding. Suddenly there was an urgent knock at his door. He closed his eyes for a moment, telling himself that it was a coincidence. Before he could stand up, the door opened and Zell strode in. He turned on the lights and noticed that Squall was not alone.

"Oh jeeze Squall, um, sorry…" he stuttered, turning around to face the wall. 

Squall sighed, and gently moved Rinoa's head from his chest to the pillow. After a quick check to make sure he was clothed from the waist down, he rose from the bed and ran a hand through his hair.

"It's alright Zell. What was so urgent that it couldn't wait until the sun's up?"

Zell turned, and Squall was able to see his face for the first time. It was extremely pale and his eyes were full of anxiety. 

"Squall, something's happened at Esthar. This morning, the officials Garden had been assigned to protect were found dead."

"Oh Hyne. Do they know who did it? How could they get past our SeeDs?" Squall's mind was going a million miles a minute, creating and discarding scenarios, already planning statements to the press and to loved ones.

Zell appeared to grow even more anxious, and he held Squall's eyes for a moment, appearing to try and dredge up the courage to continue speaking. Finally, with a deep breath, he continued.

"There are security cameras in every corner of the palace, including the rooms where the officials were staying."

"Good. Since we already have six SeeDs there, tell them to begin on the identification process. We need to solve this as quickly as possible," Squall interrupted.

"Squall… the security cameras… **did pick up the assassins…"**

Squall began to grow frustrated, and Zell knew it was better to just continue.

"Squall. The SeeDs that we dispatched to Esthar. They killed the Estharian officials. The cameras confirm it beyond any shadow of a doubt."

Squall was so stunned that he sat back down on his bed. Zell watched in uncomfortable silence as Squall put a hand to his forehead, hair falling over his eyes and hiding his expression. He remained quiet. 

"Squall, Esthar is calling for retaliation against Garden. They're amassing a force as we speak."

On the bed, a smile too small for the men to notice formed on Rinoa's mouth. 

Whew. I must say, I'm kinda proud of myself for updating like three times in two weeks. *gives herself a trophy* There's not really much else to do right now, where I go to college is absolutely freezing (right now the wind chill is -37) and I'm trying to stay in and stay warm in my dorm =) Anyway, I hope that this chapter was ok for everyone, it actually took me a while to write it out and have it make any kind of sense. It's like… I know where I want it to end up, now it's just a matter for making it **get there, somehow. Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about my reviews, who I love oh love oh love tons =)**

**squeakychris-** I thought it was time for some action, too! I'm glad that you liked it, and I hope my update was soon enough for ya =)

**Noacat- **Hehe, silly 'ol dumb 'ol Squall. He still hasn't caught on yet. And thanks for your nice words about the love scene in the last chapter; you can't imagine how nervous I was about that one! I'll put some normal Rinoa in the next chapter, too. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter =P

**remote mine- **Amazing? *sniffle* That is really really really nice of you to say. Jeeze, soon I'm gonna have a big ego if I'm not careful! Thanks for such a nice review!

**karla3-** The monkeys passed out?!?! *gets out electric paddles* Wake up, monkeys! Don't you leave me now, dammit! Fight! Fiiiiiight! Hehehe. Woo! I made you forget about the real Rinoa for a minute, awesome! That's what I was hoping would happen for a little while! After I post this one, I'm heading over to review chapter twelve of your story, which I already read but just haven't had time to type up a review about. I hope you like this one! Much love from me to you AND the monkeys!

**Cusp of a Butterfly- **I hate the evil Rinoa too! Which makes it really hard for me to write this fic sometimes, because I just wanna either ignore her or kill her off right now =P Let me know what you think of this chapter!

**zornoid13-** Thanks! I hope you like the update, send me a review after you read =)

**Evan'sRinoa-** Heh, I don't really wanna flush Rinoa either! She's my favorite female in the game too =D. Someone will notice something's up soon, no worries. But I'm not telling who, mwahaha! Enjoy this chapter!

**DemonRyu- **Thanks for so many nice compliments! And thanks as well for saying I did a good job in the last chapter, by now I'm sure you can tell I was stressed out about it! I think you're very perceptive about Rinoa's characteristics, and I really like your feedback! I made you like a S x R story! This makes my day! =)

So thank you to reviewers and to readers! Everyone review! *throws confetti everywhere* Please review me and let me know what you think. Te amo~ Kupo


	14. The Things That No One Knows

Note: Who owns Final Fantasy VIII? I'm gonna guess… Squaresoft… in the library… with the candlestick!

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Fourteen: The Things That No One Knows…

--Void.

(flashback to previous day) 

Rinoa had watched in growing terror as her imposter had begun to address the SeeDs assembled in the briefing room.

"_Are you ready to fulfill your purpose?"_ she had questioned the group. _"A new era has come, an era of revolution. Of change. The machine of war is ready. You shall be the tools with which I shall begin the reshaping of our world. You are blessed."_

Rinoa watched as the SeeDs stood, confusion and apprehension written on their faces. Seeming to sense that something was very wrong, they began to move towards the door. 

_"Stop!" _the other had hissed. Raising one of her arms from her side, she pointed her index finger at the group. _"You are mine."_

The soldiers had fallen to the ground in a synchronized movement, while her imposter stood over them, saying nothing. A light began to flow from her and diffuse throughout the room. As it grew brighter, the men on the floor first stirred, and then stood. They moved back to their seats and sat attentively, while the light continued to intensify. It grew too bright for Rinoa to watch, and she diverted her eyes.

_"No!!!!"_ cried a familiar voice.

"Zell!" called Rinoa, overjoyed to hear and see her old friend again. 

_He will know for sure that something's wrong this time. There's no way to hide that something huge just went down in here. Oh thank you Hyne…_

As the light dimmed, Rinoa turned to watch. To her horror, her enemy was standing beside a window, explaining how she had opened the shade to let some light into the room. Hope rose in her heart as for a moment Zell appeared to not buy the explanation, but it was dashed upon the rocks as he shrugged and then allowed her to leave the room. Once again, her strange window into the real world followed her other self down the hallway and to the elevator. As she stepped in, she again turned to Rinoa and held her gaze. Frightened, Rinoa looked away.

_"You should not look away."_

The voice echoed in the void where Rinoa was trapped.

_"You should not look away."_

She heard the admonition again, and looked up. Her other self was watching her, but not with malice or anger. Just with interest. When Rinoa met, and then would not drop her gaze, the imposter smiled in an almost maternal way.

_"Ah, there you are. Or should I say, there **I** am, yes? How is everything in there? Is it comfortable enough for you?"_

Rinoa shrieked in anger, enough was enough.

"Who are you? Get out of my body! You can't just do this! Someone's gonna notice that something's up! Squall will know, and then it will be all over for you! Leave, while you have one last chance!"

Rinoa paused for a breath, hoping that her words sounded more forceful than they felt. She watched as her double pushed the "elevator stop" button between the second and third floor, and then winked at her.

_"You could get out, you know."_

Rinoa frowned. 

"If what? If I join you? Never in a million years. Tell me who you are."

Her enemy ran a hand through her dark hair and put a hand on her hip. 

_"Can't you see? I'm you."_

"No, no you're not! I'm here!"

Suddenly, she felt as if her insides had turned to ice. She remembered time compression, finding Ultimecia's castle in the flower field, how Ultimecia had somehow come to possess Griever, Ultimecia's black angel wings. 

_Oh Hyne, no. It can't be true. I'm not Ultimecia, never! I'm good! I'm a good person!_

"Ultimecia…?" she questioned in a quavering voice, fearing the answer more than she had ever dreaded anything else in her life.

_"Silly, silly girl. Just like when you were five and you thought that your father would remember your ballet recital. Don't ever assume, or you'll end up as brokenhearted as you did that night, crying in the garden, watching the moon, wondering if there would ever be someone who saw you for what you really were," _admonished her antagonist, shaking a finger at her playfully.

"How could you know that? No one knows that…" Rinoa spoke softly to herself. Her thoughts wandered for a moment, remembering the day so long ago when she had begun to shut her father out of her life. Then, remembering where she was, she replied to the woman in the mirror.

"Well… if you're not Ultimecia, who are you? Don't lie!"

_"Ultimecia is gone. We both know this. How many times must I say it? **I am you**_**. **_That's why I have your memories. And you? You're the last part of me that hasn't given in to the immense power that's been offered. The last soldier standing, so to speak. And I know it's lonely. But you don't have to be alone. You can come back to the real world. Just give me back that one last piece of consciousness. It's a good trade, Rinoa. Take it," her enemy smiled cunningly, and held out her hand. _

Rinoa jumped back in shock as her hand emerged through the mirror. She knew that if she touched it, it would be real. That it would pull her back into the real world, into her world. But then realization dawned again.

"If I take your hand, there will be nothing to stop you, will there? I'm what's holding you back, why you don't have all your powers yet, right? But… if I give in this last little part of myself… it's all over, isn't it?" Rinoa accused the woman in the mirror.

With a snarl, the hand withdrew. The smile which had played on her foe's face vanished and was replaced with a cruel snarl. Her eyes blazed with fire as she hissed at Rinoa.

_"I don't **need you; I merely offered you once last chance to save yourself. You were, after all, a part of me. But you will see. The mind cannot live without the body. Soon, you will die, and the last part of your consciousness resisting me will rejoin the rest. It's only a matter of time."**_

With a final glare at Rinoa, the window went dark. All the anger and adrenaline that Rinoa had been depending on to keep up her strength left her, and she sunk to the ground. She rested her head on her knees and let her hair fall into her face.

_It's me… Oh Hyne, it's me. I have no excuse, no one to hate but myself. How could I have given in? Why don't I remember? There must be something I can do, it's never too late._

Feeling a strength that she had realized she possessed, she rose to her feet again. Looking about her into the blackness, she made a promise to herself.

_I won't allow the world to sink into despair. I will resist. I will win._

(end flashback)

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office.

Squall stood, watching his dozen top officers, his hands clasped behind his back. They were taking the news relatively well, considering he had just told them that the most technologically advanced nation in the world was contemplating war against Garden. He had already given them the necessary orders.

All underclassmen were to return home or to a secured location. There would be no repeat of the chaos that had occurred when the Galbadia and Balamb Gardens had clashed almost two years ago. All graduated SeeDs were to remain on board, pending further instruction. 

With a salute, he dismissed his officers and waited for them to exit his office. Once they were gone, he moved to his desk chair and slumped into it. In a move uncharacteristically unlike him, he put his head down on the cool surface of his desk and closed his eyes. 

_Why does everything bad always happen at once…how am I supposed to fix this mess? I'm supposed to be some mythic commander… when really I'm just 19… still learning about myself, what I want… how can I be what this world demands that I be? I don't have the knowledge or the power that I need._

The shrill ring of his telephone shattered his thoughts. Lifting his head, he picked up the phone.

"Leonhart."

"Squall?" questioned the male voice on the other end. 

"Kiros?"

"Yeah Squall, it's me. Things are crazy here… I need to speak to you in confidence, is this line secure?"

"Yes, it's my personal line. Please, tell me what's going on!" Squall implored.

"The SeeDs that you sent, they went crazy, Squall. A security guard was watching in the control booth and saw it happen. He called for backup and ran to try and stop them. He and his reinforcements eventually overpowered them, but while they were fighting, someone stole the tape from the control room. It leaked out and too many people have seen it for Ward and me to control it. There's huge public outrage here right now," Kiros explained, and Squall could hear the dismay and genuine worry in his voice.

"There must be some way to stop this. We can hold a conference, or a press hearing, or something where we can get the word out that Garden as a whole is not responsible."

"That's just it, Squall. It's not just Garden that the people are holding responsible. Someone claimed that they looked hypnotized, and hypnotism led to mind control, mind control led to sorcery, sorcery to sorcer_ess_, and sorceress…."

"To Rinoa," Squall finished the sentence, his voice heavy with defeat.

"I'm afraid so, Squall. There's now a public cry against Garden harboring a sorceress. I think it would be best if you took Rinoa away from Garden for a while."

Squall sighed, as his worst fears seemed to come true. Rinoa had always brushed off the idea that the world would ever fear her power, because she has always pledged not to use it. She had always pretended that it was never even there.

_Rinoa… I'll protect you from anyone, from everyone. From the world, if I have to._

"Thank you, Kiros. Please do your best to keep everything under control until I get back. I'm placing Quistis in charge pending my return. She will know how to get a hold of me should you need me."

"Take care, Squall. Please be careful, Laguna would never forgive me if I let something happen to you."

"…. Alright. I'll be in touch with you soon."

Squall hung up the phone and stood, but had to fight back the wave of nausea that the movement brought. Rubbing his temples with his fingers, he tried to orchestrate his next move.

_I need to get Rinoa out of here. To someplace safe until all this blows over. Where can she go? Where will no one know her or think to look for her?_

Pulling on his leather jacket and gloves, he covered the distance from his desk to the door in three wide strides. There was no time to waste. 

--The House in Balamb, Kitchen.

Quistis sat at the small kitchen table, sipping her coffee uneasily. Rinoa sat across the table from her, staring down at her hands. The blonde smiled sympathetically and reached across the table for her friend's hand.

"Rinoa, don't worry. Squall will straighten everything out, I'm sure that there's been some kind of misunderstanding, but it can certainly be talked out. He won't have to go to war," she consoled, as best she could.

Rinoa looked up at Quistis, her eyes filled with tears. 

"Oh Quistis, I cannot lose him! Everything, my whole world will fall apart…" she said brokenly as the tears spilled down her cheeks. 

Quistis moved to stand up and go around the table to hug her friend, but paused and listened to the sound of a car roaring down the street, and then screeching to a halt in their driveway. Almost immediately, the front door opened and Squall strode into the kitchen. Seeing Rinoa's tearstained face, he went directly to her and knelt down in front of her and held one of her hands, much as he had done aboard the Ragnarok while they were stranded in space.

"Rinoa, let's go," he said simply. She stood weakly and Squall put an arm protectively around her shoulders. As he was ushering her out the door and towards the idling car, Quistis realized that she had no idea what was going on.

"Squall!" she called from the doorway. "What's happened? Where are you going?"

After making sure that Rinoa was buckled safely into the passenger seat, Squall turned and moved to open the driver's side door. Quistis ran down the driveway to catch him before he left. 

"Squall, wait! Tell me what's going on," she implored, her hand on the car door. Squall turned and spoke quickly and quietly to her.

"I've got to get Rinoa out of here. We've got a war on our hands and they want her. I can't let that happen, Quistis. I've got to keep her safe, I'm sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can. Until then, there's no one I trust more than you to be in charge." With a quick salute to his former instructor, he got in the car and closed the door. Throwing it into reverse, the vehicle rocketed down the driveway.

Quistis held up a hand. 

"How will we find you?" she cried out. "Where are you going?"

Rolling down the window as he shifted the car into drive, Squall called out a town across the sea.

"Winhill…!"

Quistis watched in shock as the car sped away, a hand to her throat. 

What was happening?

Word up! Chapter Fourteen! Yay! It feels like only yesterday I was writing Chapter Two… *sniffle* they grow up so fast ^_^. I spent a good long time this morning mapping out the rest of this fic, and I plan to wrap it up within six more chapters. 20 chapters is not too shabby for a first fanfic, ya? And look! Rinoa's not Ultimecia! I love her too much to ever turn her into that mean 'ol sorceress in one of my fics, hehe.

I hope everyone liked this chapter, please take a moment to review and give me your feedback, I appreciate all of it so much =) 

Ok, now its time to thank my reviewers! I know that this update is only two days after my last one, so if you didn't get a chance to review chapter thirteen yet, please still do so. Also, if you submitted a review for chapter thirteen but I didn't thank you here, its only because I didn't get a notification yet and I will make a note to you in the next one. 

**DemonRyu-** Hehe, you liked the part with Rinoa opening the blind? Sweeet, I kinda giggled when I wrote that part, myself. And I'm so glad that you caught my parallel between how Squall is being drawn to Rinoa in much the same way as Seifer was drawn to Ultimecia. Wahoo! I hope you like this one!

**Noacat-** Ooo… can I steal your idea about Angelo for my next chapter? That's so smart! *trophy for you* I'm glad you liked all my little plot twists. Thanks for such a nice review ^_^

**Rinny Leonhart / Rikku-** Hehe, yep, bad Rinoa! Please review this one too and let me know what you think!

**Rebekka- ***blinks* the best story you ever read? Oh, wow! I must disagree… but thanks so much for the praise! I hope you enjoy this chapter! =)

**Evan'sRinoa-** It's true, we are all evil at times, ya? And I tried to put a lot of Rinoa in the chapter just for you! Send me a review and some more nice feedback, hehehe.

**Karla3-** What can I say? Great minds must think alike! Lol! I think we're going in somewhat different directions though, so it's still all good… let's just blame it on the monkeys! ^_^  I sent you an email at the addy you have posted off of your author account, so be on the lookout, mwahaha! Thanks for yet another super awesome great review! 

**Eon-** Thank you! Was this update soon enough for you? Let me know what you think about this chapter =)

Thanks very much, everyone! Remember, if you read it you might as well review it, ya? Because then you get a special shout out from me at the end, and who doesn't want one of those? *winky* Te amo~ Kupo


	15. A Force Divided

Note: Squaresoft doesn't think its funny if you chain yourself to the tree outside their offices and refuse to leave until they sell you the rights to FFVIII.

I Forgot Your Name

Chapter Fifteen: A Force Divided

--Winhill, Old House.

Squall stood in the doorway, a duffel bag in one hand, and appraised the house with an eyebrow raised. Laguna had offered it to him is case he ever "needed to get away from the pressures of a leader." At the time, he had casually and coolly thanked his father, but now he was so grateful that if the man was around he would have considered kissing him. It was quiet, secluded, and he doubted that anyone would look for them there. However, just because it was in a perfect location didn't mean it was in perfect condition.

The place was dusty from years of non-occupancy. Pale yellow curtains, bleached white in places from the midday sun, hung raggedly around the window-frames. There was an old table with three chairs in the middle of the room. A few old pictures in cracked frames decorated a bureau, and bullet holes riddled one wall. Worried that Rinoa would be put ill-at-ease by the holes, he stole a glance at her from the corner of his eye.

She was smiling. Of all the expressions that he might have predicted, one of pleasure was not on his list. However, she appeared completely content. Her dark eyes were filled with satisfaction and an easy smile teased the corner of her lips. A frown darkened Squall's features.

_Rinoa… I thought that I explained the situation to you on the way here. There are armies looking for you… this isn't some vacation, don't you understand that?_

Seeming to sense Squall's eyes on her, she turned to him and winked. 

"All it needs is a little love, right? We can fix it up in no time… and then… here, we can be safe, Squall. Just you and me," she said softly.

Squall couldn't help but be a bit taken aback after her final comment and watched her with a critical eye. He still couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was a little bit off. 

_Come off it, Leonhart. This girl's got the world chasing after her and she's trying to make the best of it. And all you can do is think that she's got something up her sleeve. She's vulnerable and she needs your support._

A wave of caring for her washed over him, and with his free hand pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head.

"Sure, Rin. Why don't you go upstairs and rest for a bit, I'm gonna go check out the town and give us some good fake names and an alibi as to why we're here." He pulled slightly away from her and looked into her eyes. "I'll be back soon, alright?" he added with a measure of seriousness, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face.

She smiled at him, and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose. 

"Don't worry about me, everything is going to be alright as long as I have you to protect me," she said softly. She turned from him and began to climb the stairs to the second floor. Halfway up, she turned and looked at him. For a few long moments, nothing was said and Squall began to grow uncomfortable in the silence. Finally, she spoke. 

"I love you, my knight," she said simply. Not waiting for a reply, she turned and mounted the rest of the stairs and disappeared from his view. Running a hand through his hair, Squall stood silently for a moment, unsure why words that usually brought him so much comfort should unnerve him so now. With a soft sigh, he pushed away his worries and left the house to explore the town.

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office.

Quistis pushed her glasses farther up onto the bridge of her nose and picked up the phone again. As soon as Squall had left town, she had gotten dressed in her official SeeD uniform and left for Garden. The ensuing chaos was far greater than she could have expected. Those who had been present during the clash between Gardens two years ago were of some extra value, organizing the squads of SeeD at vulnerable points within the facility. However, she had spent much of the morning on the phone, trying to reach officials in Esthar who were interested in talking peace rather than retaliation. 

It had been to no avail. Early reports confirmed that a mass of Estharian troops were on the move towards Balamb even as she sat at her desk, feeling like she was wasting time making what seemed to be pointless phone call after pointless phone call.

_Think, Quistis! Think of something! How can you graduate ahead of schedule and be some kind of SeeD prodigy when you can't even formulate a defense strategy? There's so much at stake! Think…!_

"Damn it!!" she cursed aloud, pulling her glasses from her face and throwing them across the room and against the wall, where they collided with a somewhat satisfying crack. Putting her elbows up on Squall's desk, she rested her face in her hands. 

There was a soft knock on the door, and without lifting her face she called for the person to enter.

"Quisty?" came a soft voice. 

Quistis looked up and met Selphie's worried eyes. Both she and Irvine were present, and both were also dressed in official SeeD attire. 

"Oh Quistis, we're sorry we didn't get here earlier… no one woke us up or told us what had happened!" she explained apologetically, holding her hands up in front of her.

"We've been down to the briefing room, gathering information," Irvine continued. After stealing an uncomfortable glance at Selphie, he continued hesitantly. "We've got some more bad news, instructor. And I know you don't wanna hear any more of it right now, but it's really imperative." 

Quistis sighed and made a small brush-off gesture with one of her hands.

"I'm acting Commander, Irvine. It's my job to hear all the bad news… no wonder Squall gets so pissy sometimes," she added as an afterthought, which elicited a small smile from Selphie. All too quickly, the smile wilted as Irvine continued to relate his information.

"Like I said, we were down getting information. And we've discovered that, well… Esthar has been in contact with the other world powers, most importantly, with Galbadia. And through Galbadia, all the other provinces have been notified…"

"Notified of what?" Quistis questioned, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach increasing.

"That the sorceress has come to power. And that Garden is harboring the sorceress… and as such… is too great a threat to be ignored. Galbadia and Esthar have sent joint forces of about 7,000 to eliminate all Gardens and to find the sorceress. Upon finding her, her powers are to be unconditionally and irrevocably sealed for all time. Any who resist this order or attempt to protect the sorceress are to be executed," Irvine said softly. 

Quistis swore softly under her breath. The phone on the desk began to ring, and holding up her index finger, she gestured to her friends to wait for a moment while she took the call. 

Irvine and Selphie waited apprehensively while Quistis listened to the voice on the other end of the line. She sighed heavily as she hung up, and pushed her blonde hair behind her ears again.  

"That was Headmaster Martine. Galbadia Garden has had an offer of peace from Esthar and Galbadia itself… to allow itself to be occupied by their military forces and to do its "job" as a Garden…specifically,  to find and eliminate the sorceress threat. He's asked me to consider accepting the offer as well. The same offer has been extended to Trabia. All three Gardens must come to a unanimous decision…"

She watched as Irvine and Selphie exchanged another glance, and then Irvine held both hands up in the air.

"It's not even a choice, is it? There's no way in hell we'll hand Rinoa over to the wolves. She hasn't done anything wrong, she was nowhere near Esthar when all this went down!"

Selphie nodded seriously. 

"I agree with Irvine, instructor. Rinoa's one of us… no way can we sell her out."

Quistis indicated agreement with a small nod of her head and a tired smile. 

"And I agree with both of you… but I don't have the authority to make the choice. We need to get Squall back here… now. Before the army is at our gates."

With a surprisingly official demeanor, the two saluted Quistis and exited the office. Offering up a small prayer that she could reach him, Quistis picked up the phone receiver and dialed Squall's personal cell phone number. It rang twice, three, four times, and with every additional ring Quistis felt another grain of sand fall to the bottom of the hourglass.

_Please Squall… pick up the phone…_

--Winhill, Main Road.

Squall sighed in annoyance as he left the general store. Spending the last twenty minutes making idle conversation with random villagers was not his idea of fun; but it was necessary to establish some type of alibi and to pick up some supplies. The store was busy and rather loud and he was glad to escape it. Running a hand through his hair to keep it out of his eyes, he became aware of a beeping from his jacket pocket. His cell phone.

"Shit," he cursed, trying to juggle the bags in his hands and withdraw his cell phone from his jacket at the same time. It rang twice more before he was able to put down the bags and answer the phone. 

"Squall?"

Quistis' voice was tense and full of anxiety. He immediately forgot the inane villagers and snapped back into his work mode.

"Yes instructor, I'm here. What's the situation in Balamb?"

"It's not good, Squall. You need to get back here, now. We need your authority. There's no time now, but I'll explain everything when you arrive," she said tersely.

_Rinoa…_

"Quistis, I…"

"Please, Squall. We need you **here."**

There was something in Quistis' tone that rang true. Squall knew he could no longer delay his responsibilities. And Rinoa would be fine, no one would find her here.

"Alright, Quistis. I'll be on my way within ten minutes."  He said shortly, flipping his phone shut. Hefting the bags he was carrying, he set off at a jog for the old house.

Opening the door, he looked around. It was quiet, and early afternoon sunlight spilled in through the kitchen window. It was so peaceful.

_In another world… I would like it here. This elusive peace. This type of peace will never come through force. The type of peace that we all deserve…_

Placing the bags on the small table, he softly climbed the dusty stairs to the bedroom above. Rinoa was slumbering peacefully under an old quilt on the bed, her legs curled up close to her body, her hair falling into her heart-shaped face. Leaning down beside her, he ran his gloved hand lightly across the line of her chin and brushed the strands away. 

_Rinoa.. I'll never let war come to you. I'll be back soon. Stay safe, love._

He withdrew his hand and looked down at her sleeping form one final time. With a conscious effort to avoid looking back, he left the house and got into his car. He drove away still resisting the urge to glance in the rearview mirror.

About two hours later he sighted Garden in the distance. He slowed the vehicle as he came upon the road block set up and manned by SeeD, but when he rolled down his window to show them his I.D. card, he was immediately recognized and waved through. Parking his car in the lot he jumped from it and ran for the elevator, heedless of the stares and thankful comments that were made as he ran through the halls.

Finally making it to his office, he opened the door without knocking. Quistis and several other high-ranking SeeDs, including Xu, were there. They all rose and saluted when he entered, but he waved them off. Quistis stepped forward and put a gentle hand on his arm.

"Squall… we need you to make a difficult decision now…" she began softly.

After hearing the situation, Squall turned away from the group for the moment. He could feel them all, waiting for a decision, for **his decision. **

_Dammit… I'm not God… why is this all on me? The Second Sorceress War or Rinoa? How can they stand there and expect me to choose?!_

"Dammit!" he voiced the thought this time. Without turning around to face his colleagues, he strode from the office and slammed the door behind him. In the hallway outside, he leaned an arm against the wall and let his dark hair fall into his eyes to hide his expression.  He remained lost in his thoughts until a familiar voice brought him back to reality.

"Yo… Squall man, when did you get back?" Zell questioned, leaning down and looking up at Squall from under his hair.

Squall sighed and turned away from his friend.

"Zell… not now.. you know the choice that I have to make…" he tried to explain, his voice a low monotone. 

Zell moved around Squall so that he was in front of him again, and stood there patiently until Squall reluctantly lifted his cool blue eyes to meet his gaze.

"Squall, it's like Irvine said to me just a little while ago. What kind of choice is there to make? Trust your heart, and make the choice that it tells you to. We'll stand behind you… all of us. We all love you," he explained, his eyes conveying his faithfulness and the truth of his words. 

"Although," he added as an afterthought, "we **guys just love ya in that manly 'let's-go-kill-something-and-cook-it-outdoors' kinda way…"**

Squall managed a weak smile more for the benefit of his friend than for the humor of the statement. Clapping Zell on the arm as a gesture of thanks, he squared his shoulders and walked back into his office. Saluting his officers, he began.

"I apologize for my behavior moments ago. I allowed my emotions to overwhelm my judgment and my conduct." He paused and looked each person in the room in the eye before he continued. "I've come to a decision. There will be no deal. We will not allow our institutions to be overrun by military force. We will not be bargained into a corner. We will not be threatened or intimidated. We will defend ourselves. We will fight- for our honor, for our ideals, for our innocence and for those who are innocent but cannot defend themselves. We have trained, we are ready, and we will fight."

The room was quiet for a moment while his final words seemed to hang in the air by invisible thread. Finally, Quistis broke the silence. Her voice was full of emotion, and she was clearly as inspired as the rest of the group by Squall's impassioned speech.

"Sir… yes, sir. I will notify the other Gardens immediately," she said, and exited the office.

The others saluted and then departed as well, until just Squall and Xu were left. She looked at him and smiled.

"It's an honor to be fighting on your side again, sir," she said with pride. He was about to respond to her when a SeeD ran in and saluted quickly.

"Commander, I apologize for the interruption but enemy forces have been sighted through our scopes, about seven miles and closing. Your presence is required on the bridge, sir."

"How many?" Squall questioned.

"About 3,500 sir," the SeeD replied.

Xu frowned. 

"That can't be right, Squall. Our intelligence showed that a force of 7,000 left bound for this Garden alone. Where are the rest of them going?"

"Ma'am, as far as we can tell, the rest changed course and boarded boats bound for the Galbadian continent. It's believed that they will search towns for any sympathizers and to cut off possible hiding places for the sorceress."

Xu turned to speak to Squall, but all she saw was his retreating back as he ran from the office and towards the elevator.

_Rinoa…_

Whew. Chapter Fifteen. Good lord. I hope I didn't lose anyone in this chapter, ya? The next three are gonna be my action chapters, followed by THE chapter (ya know.. like the big one where everything is make or break) and then a resolution chapter. At least, that's how I see it. I may need to add another chapter here or there to give it some depth, but we will see. 

Hey you guys!!!! I have 100 reviews!!!! Does anyone understand how excited I am? I had but 1 review I would still be happy, but 100?! Awesome! And it's all because of you, reader who is reading this! I love you 3!

And a big thank you to my beta reader, Karla! She's got some wonderful insight and I am glad to have her helping me out and catching all my silly little mistakes that I always make. Read her stories, they are all very good! =P

Karla3: Beta-Reader here! Kupo, I didn't even have to do anything for this chapter, it was brilliant, so much detail. Especially at the start. Nice curtains! ;) *Salutes* 

Hey! Thank you, reviewers! =)

**Rinny Leonhart/ Rikku- ** Hehe, now comes the time when Squall will actually have to put his promise to protect her to the test, ya? Let me know what you think of this one!

**Noacat-** Man, I tried so hard to get Angelo into this chapter, but I wouldn't have been able to do it without some huge plot hole, ya? But it's gonna happen! And yay I'm so glad you liked the convo between Rinoa and, uh,  herself. Wahoo! I hope that this chapter was good enough =)

**Evan'sRinoa-** Hehe, sorry that the last chapter was a little short. Hehe, ya too bad that Zell didn't notice, huh? Because look at the big mess everyone's in now! Mwahaha. Send me a review and let me know what ya think!

**cusp of a butterfly- **Teehee, yes! Very sneaky! And you win the prize! For noticing the names of the officials. I was gonna put a note in at the end of last chapter, but I decided to just leave it and see if anyone noticed! What can I say, I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean while I was writing ^_^

**Karla3-** Silly girl, I just talked to you today. You know how much I appreciate your reviews already =)

**azn_angel4-** Thank you for such a nice compliment, I hope that you liked this chapter, let me know what you think if you have time =P

**DemonRyu-** Good! I want her to be creepy. The next chapter is gonna have a lot of creepiness in it, mwahaha. And don't scare me… can you imagine an evil Selphie? We'd all be so doomed! O_O And your question **is** the big question: how much can he protect her? Thanks for the great review!

That's it! Please read and review—well.. you already READ it, I'm assuming, so now just review, hehe. Thanks so much to everyone for their support! Te amo~ Kupo


	16. Like We Once Were

Note: If I owned FFVIII, I'd play it while eating fava beans and enjoying a nice bottle of Chianti… fftt fftt fftt fftt….

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Sixteen: Like We Once Were

--Winhill, Outskirts.

Squall slammed the car through the turns, heedless of personal safety and other vehicles on the road. Speeding around the final corner, he sighted Winhill in the distance. He squinted, trying to make out details. As he drove closer, he could see many vehicles and barricades surrounding the town entrance. He pushed the car faster, glancing at the speedometer needle as it traveled all the way over to the right. He neared the barricades, and gritting his teeth, he pushed the car harder and slammed through them. The noise brought foot soldiers from the nearby vehicles. Seeing that his entrance to town would be hampered, he stepped on the car brakes, spraying gravel in all directions. Tires screaming, the car fishtailed as he attempted to stop the vehicle.

"Stop immediately!" called out a soldier clad in a traditional blue Galbadian uniform, raising his sword in a menacing way. "You cannot go in, we have a situation inside!"

Squall exited the car and moved quickly towards the town entrance on foot, his hand resting lightly on Lionheart's hilt. A young, excitable soldier trotted after him, and then stood in front of him. 

"Sir, you can't go in there… the **sorceress is in there! We're gonna get her this time! But you have to wait until--"**

His voice choked off as Squall's hand tightened around his neck. 

"I'm going in there…" he growled in a low voice, locking eyes with the young soldier. He found himself slightly unnerved at the blatant fear that stared back at him.

_He's just a kid… let him go_

With effort, he released his grip on the young man and began to run towards the town's main road. Suddenly, pain exploded across his lower back.

_Fire spell… damn it, I don't have time to fight…_

He turned to face the soldiers pursuing him. With a swift stroke, he felled one of his adversaries. He winced as another counterattacked him, but struck back before that soldier could return to his place. He glanced from side to side, seeing that more Galbadians were advancing towards him.

Closing his eyes and concentrating, he put a hand to his forehead for a moment. A light encircled him and he disappeared from view as Diablos appeared. The Guardian Force decimated most of the soldiers, and as Squall reappeared he was easily able to defeat the few that lingered on in a weakened state. 

As he turned to continue his run towards Rinoa, he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He frowned as the young soldier who had caught up with him before came into view. The young man approached him with his sword raised, although his body language gave away his fear. He charged Squall and swung at him. Squall easily parried the strike and knocked the sword from his hands. He looked him in the eye again, and saw the youth for what he was, young, frightened, and only following orders.

_So much like we were… back then…_

"Go home. This battle isn't meant for you," Squall said simply, and turned on his heel. He offered up a silent prayer as he reached the top of the hill, once he reached the other side he would be able to see Laguna's old house. He had to pause for a moment in shock as he crested the hill.

The town square was filled with activity. Everywhere were the bright metallic colors of Esthar and their soldier who bore uniforms of the same markings. Most stood guard at the doors of other houses, but most of them were congregated around the entrance to the one place he didn't want them to be. 

Squall felt anger rise up within his chest. Unquenchable, horrible, and indiscriminate hatred toward anyone and everyone who would dare to harm Rinoa. With a low snarl in his throat, he sprinted down the hill and overtook two soldiers simply by surprise. However, the sounds of battle alerted the rest of the Estharians in the square and they all came at him with a vengeance. 

Squall knew that Estharian soldiers were better equipped and had many technological advantages that the Galbadians did not. Attempting to avoid being completely encircled, he backed up towards the side of a house. He fought with bravery and with a grace that those who had watched him fight had seen but still couldn't quite put into words. Despite all this training, the sheer amount of men coming at him began to overtake him. 

Squall hesitated. For this many men, he would have to use his most destructive Guardian Force, Eden. Eden, while a great asset, caused much damage to surrounding areas and was a danger to innocent people in its blast range. 

_It doesn't matter… I need to help Rinoa…_

Without another thought, he once again touched his forehead with his fingertips. As light swirled around him and he disappeared, he caught sight of several people, including children, watching from their open doorways and windows. 

After Eden had been summoned and had decimated the whole of the Estharian force in the town square, Squall reappeared. He looked quickly to the doorways and windows where he had seen people before, but turned away when all he saw were lifeless forms on the ground. 

_There's no time to feel… I need to get upstairs._

He easily kicked the door to the house open with his foot.

"Rinoa!!" he called out. He heard the sound of many heavy footsteps upstairs and two soldiers came charging from the second floor towards him. The unquenchable anger that he had felt before filled him again as he heard a muffled cry from upstairs, and with two swift strokes he dispatched of the two Estharians before they had time to strike once.

"Rinoa! Answer me!" he called out again as he raced up the stairs. When he reached the top, what he saw made him angry to the point of frenzy,

Rinoa had been bound hand and foot, arms behind her back and legs tied to the legs of the chair she was sitting on. Three high-ranking Estharian soldiers stood guard in the room, while a fourth was advancing on her, carrying some sort of syringe. Tear stains streaked her cheeks. She looked up at him with frightened eyes.

_Damn it, I'll kill you all. All of you!_

With a cry of anguish, he came at the fourth soldier. Unarmed, the man had no time to react before Squall had run him through. As he dropped to the floor, the last three men in the room looked at each other with fear in their eyes and held up their hands. The first one spoke to Squall in a frightened tone in an attempt to reason and maybe spare their lives.

"You have to understand, this is for the good of the world! We cannot allow the sorceress to come to power! The entire would world be in danger. Surely you can see the threat that we face! You must see reason and--"

From the other side of the room, Rinoa whimpered softly. 

"Squall…?"

Hearing her voice so full of fear and pain, emotion once again overrode his mind and he engaged in combat with the three soldiers. Although they were better trained than the rest of their predecessors, Squall's anger gave him strength. He felt filled with a power he hadn't when he had fought on the street and in the square. It was alarming… but also exhilarating.

He went to Rinoa and knelt in front of her. He released her bonds and pulled her trembling body to him. She buried her face in the collar of his jacket and twined her hands in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, breathing in her scent and hoping to quell her shaking.

"My knight… you're here, I knew that you would come for me," she whispered, pulling back from him slightly so that she could look into his eyes. 

Squall touched a hand to her cheek, wiping away a final tear. Leaning forward, he kissed her lips gently. She put a hand behind his neck and pulled him closer, and he felt a surge of power.

_Love…?_

He felt invincible. In that moment, that feeling told him that he would indeed take on the world for Rinoa. As she broke the kiss, the feeling remained, but faded to the back of his mind as the world encroached upon them. 

"Rinoa… we need to get out of here. Are you alright to walk?"

She nodded and stood uncertainly. He took her hand and pulled her from the room and down the stairs. As he crossed the door's threshold, he felt resistance on his hand. He turned to look at Rinoa.

She was frozen in the doorway. Releasing his hand, she moved past him and into the middle of the square. Looking from side to side, she surveyed the destruction all around her. Bodies littered the ground as a result of Squall's struggle to reach her. He noticed her gaze lingered on the bodies in the doorways of the surrounding houses. Squall frowned as guilt overcame him, and he moved in front of her and tried to explain his actions.

"I needed to get to you. There were… unintended casualties. I'm sorry."

Rinoa turned her eyes to him, and Squall was surprised to see that they were rather blank. 

"It's alright Squall, I understand. I… we… let's just get out of here, yes?"

Squall nodded, took her hand again, and they began to run back the way Squall had come and towards his car. There was no way that Squall could have known that as Rinoa ran a step behind him, her eyes came alive as a smile flickered across her face.

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office. 

Quistis stood at attention, appraising her image in the mirror.

_You're acting Commander. You have the training, the experience, and the ability to handle this. You will not let this Garden fall._

Her eyes traveled down to the whip at her side. 

_It's been so long…_

Suddenly, a low vibration shook the floor beneath her feet. Almost at the same moment, the door to the office swung open and Zell strode in.

"Instructor, they've blown a hole in the side of Garden. We're doing everything we can to hold them off there, but it's only a matter of time before they start coming through."

Quistis nodded and turned on her heel. Together, they ran from the office and into the hallway. Taking the two flights of stairs because they were more direct, the two SeeDs turned down the corridor and met the battle head on.

The wall outside the parking lot was gone. Small pieces of the building and insulation were scattered on the flooring and on fire. The soldiers who had breached the wall were already engaged in combat with the SeeD forces, while a second wave of Galbadian and Estharian soldiers were already clambering over the rubble 

Quistis pulled her whip from her side and snapped it in the air. 

"Courage, everyone! We can beat these guys!" she called out. She looked to her left as Zell flipped a man several feet through the air. Just then, two Galbadians rushed her and she began to defend her Garden, and her home, with all that she had.

--Centra Ruins, Courtyard.

Squall paced the ruins back and forth. They had left the car two miles back under some brush in the hopes that no one would be able to trace their journey. 

_What are we doing? Are we going to run forever? This doesn't make any sense. Is there anyone that we can trust? What do I do?_

He paused in his pacing and looked over at Rinoa. She had spread his jacket on the ground and had curled up on it like a cat. He was overcome by another wave of concern for her, and went to her. He moved to put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Rinoa…? Let's find you a better place to sleep, alright?"

The moment that his fingers connected with her body, she rocketed awake. 

"Squall! Help me! Please, **please see me! Oh Hyne, I'm right here! I'm--" her cry broke off abruptly as her entire body shuddered. Squall grabbed a hold of her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.**

"Rinoa, what's going on? Are you alright?!" he said worriedly. He watched with concern as her eyes emptied of fear and color returned to her cheeks. 

"Squall… you startled me," she explained, standing up and turning away from him. Not satisfied with that answer, Squall grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him again. 

"That's not good enough, Rinoa! I want to know what's going on! Everything, tell me everything! Hyne Rinoa, I'd go to the ends of the earth for you, the least you can do is be honest with me! Is it true, what Matron said? Are you becoming someone I don't know? Rinoa, I'm your knight, forever. I'll fight for you, I'll defend you… I just want to know exactly **who it is that I'm defending!"**

Out of breath from his outburst, he let go of her arm and watched her for a moment. She remained expressionless for a moment, but as she blinked a tear ran down her cheek. 

"Squall… I'm just frightened… I'm alone and I don't understand what's happening to me. I… I need you to believe in me, and to trust me. If you've ever trusted anything in your life… trust us," she finished, her voice just above a whisper as she covered her face with her hands. On her chest, the two rings that she still bore glistened in the fading daylight. 

Squall closed his eyes for a moment, conflicting emotions battling within him. He found himself drawn to those rings, and what they symbolized. 

"Rin…" he said softly, and held his arms open. She looked up from her hands and into his eyes for a moment. With a small cry, she closed the distance between them and Squall folded her into his arms.

--Void.

Rinoa sighed and stared into the blackness. She had resolved to fight, but it was kind of hard to fight something… when there was nothing there. She had not slept since her window into the real world had disappeared, and she was fighting a mix of fear, boredom, anger, and tiredness. 

Anger began to win out over her other emotions. Stomping her foot, she called out into the darkness again.

"You won't win! That's my body you're in, and that mean's its my turf! I've got the home-field advantage and soon enough everyone's gonna figure it out!"

There was no reply.

Rinoa ran a hand through her dark hair and contemplated her options. She had no weapon with her, not that having a weapon would make much of a difference. But…

_I do have the power of a sorceress… I could try and use that, couldn't I? But.. I hate being a sorceress.. and using that power is like accepting the fact that I am one… I don't know if I'm ready to confront that- but what other choice do I have?_

"Abra cadabra," she whispered sarcastically to herself. She put a hand to each of her temples and closed her eyes. Concentrating on the one thing that had saved her before, during time compression. Her one, sure, and unshakeable truth.

_Squall… I'm… right there with you…_

Suddenly, in a bright flash of light, the world turned white. She found herself looking at Squall, his eyes full of concern, his hand on her shoulder. Her heart raced, but she wasn't sure if it was real or just an illusion.

"Squall! Help me! Please, **please see me! Oh Hyne, I'm right here! I'm--" she began, but an intense pain inside her head caused her to lose concentration and Squall disappeared replaced by the familiar black space. **

_"Don't you dare."_

A voice echoed through her dark prison. Rinoa stood up and screamed triumphantly at the voice.

"I saw him! For a moment, I was THERE! I can do it again!"

_"No… you cannot. Whatever power you had reserved, you just used. Wasting your chance. What a pity. Now I only have to wait for you, this last little part of your consciousness, to give in or die out. It really doesn't matter either way…in the end, I win. But when the time comes, I am certain you'll see things my way, and give up."_

"I don't believe you!" Rinoa called back, but the voice was silent again. Rinoa paused for a moment, horrified by what she was feeling… _weak. Not of mind, for she was more determined than ever to escape, but she felt drained, just as her enemy had said she would feel. _

She slid down to her knees. 

_I won't give in…_

--Centra Ruins, Tower.

Rinoa stood at the balcony, watching the darkness creep across the land. Squall was down in the courtyard as well, gathering brush with which they could start a fire. He looked up at her and waved his hand and pointed towards the tower itself, wanting her to move back from the balcony, the railings had long since crumbled and it was a dangerous spot to stand. She moved back into the tower.

A few moments later she heard Squall's steps on the stairs, as well as a metallic clinking noise. As he opened the door to the room, Angelo burst through ahead of him.

"Rin, look who hitchhiked in the back of my car when I left Garden," he said with a half smile. Angelo skidded to a stop in front of Rinoa, and the fur on the dog's back stood up. Squall frowned and nudged the dog with the toe of his boot. "What's the matter, boy?"

Rinoa smiled and squatted down to the dog's level. 

"Come here, Angelo," she called in a high, sing-song voice. The door was clearly torn between its intuition and loyalty towards his mistress. Finally, Angelo slowly walked to Rinoa, his tail between his legs. Rinoa scratched the dog affectionately behind the ears. Squall nodded and left to go back out to the courtyard to retrieve the firewood he had left there. As he gathered it, he heard a cry from inside the tower. Dropping the tinder, he sprinted back in the direction he had come from, and threw open the tower door at the top of the stairs.

Rinoa stood beside the open balcony, tears coursing down her cheeks. It took Squall only a quick glance around the room to realize what had happened. 

"I… he… I threw the ball… I… too far over… and he ran.. and the balcony crumbled… Angelo…" she gestured, moving towards the balcony to look over the edge.

Squall caught her hand and pulled her away from the edge to prevent her from looking over. She wrapped her arms around him and he did the best he could to console her.

_Rinoa… our world's crumbling, just like that balcony… but I won't let us fall, I promise._

Boom! There's Chapter 16! Whew… it was my longest one yet, I hope I didn't lose anyone due to boredom or anything like that… since this **is my first fic, it's also my first experience with writing WAR, so be kind in your reviews, hehe. I'm so excited to be in the triple digits for reviews, you cannot even comprehend! Thank you to the reviews who helped me get there, especially the ones listed below that reviewed my last chapter ^_^**

**Karla3**- Yay for my beta reader! The more, the merrier, always! You're awesome!

**Squeakychris****- Look, look! I did some real, bona fide, honest to goodness fighting in this chapter! Hehe. I hope I didn't let you down =)**

**Rinny** **Leonhart** **/ **Rikku**- I hope that I answered some of those questions for you! Let me know what you think of this chapter, ya? ^.^**

**Noacat**- You love it?!?! Awww… that makes me so happy!! *imitates Laguna* Erm… I killed Angelo… I… feel so… BAD!!! Teehee… I wrote that scene extra special because I liked your idea so much. Thank you for so much praise, I hope you like this chapter too! =)

**cusp** **of **a** **butterfly**- Hehe, ya I made him run all over the place, he's gonna have buff legs by the time I am done with this fic! Thanks for your review, keep 'em coming =D**

**angels0ul **– Thanks! Here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy it! =)

**SoulSwhispers666**- Thank you very much! I'm glad that you've enjoyed all the chapters so far, I hope that I can keep up the trend! I will certainly be starting another fic on the heels of this one, too. Send me a review and let me know what you think of this chapter! ^_^

**DemonRyu**- Hehe, they found her and it wasn't pretty! Mwahaha…! Thanks for the review! =P

**Knighted**- Sometimes I wonder how I am gonna get her out of it too, hehe. Send me a review and let me know what you think of this chapter if you have a moment!=)

**eDSta- You liked the speech? Yay!!! I wanted to write a good little one, so I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for so many compliments and let me know if that monument ever gets built, hehe ;-)**

**Sain**- Thanks for your sweet review! I hope you liked this chapter too =)

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**_Beta Reader Note:_** *Takes a tissue* That was so…sweet. Even though you are the queen of typos, you are the god of nice scenes. Cheers. ^ ^

That's all for now, folks. Please review me, woohoo! Everyone! Peace! And love! =)

Next Up: Squall makes a final choice!


	17. Surrender

Note: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, and you know why? I went to Square-Enix, and I asked for the rights very nicely, but they just told me I had problems and to "go talk to a wall" ….. Whatever!

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Seventeen: Surrender

--Balamb Garden, Parking Lot.

"Tch! Too many…" Zell hissed under his breath as the second wave of Estharian and Galbadian began streaming through the side of the Garden. He glanced to his left, where a trio of SeeDs was standing in the midst of the chaos, shocked expressions on their faces as they watched the new wave charge towards them. 

"Hey!!!!" he called to them urgently, but the three just moved closer to each other. Zell glanced around himself quickly to make sure that no one was advancing at him, and then ran to the aid of the three. He jumped in front of them just as a Galbadian foot soldier reached the same spot. As the soldier raised his sword to strike, Zell brought his elbow up against the underside of the soldier's chin, causing him to lose his balance and reel backwards. As the man took a step in retreat to steady himself Zell advanced and, with a well-placed knee to the solar plexus and then a crescent kick to the ribs, dropped him to the ground. He turned to look at the SeeDs behind him.

"You guys ok to fight?" he spoke quickly, knowing that there was not time to engage in idle conversation. The tallest of the three looked at him with fear-filled eyes.

"Sir…. it's  just that we've never trained for any combat like this… we were only cadets last time Garden was invaded… how can we win this? They are too many…" he spoke brokenly, softly.

Zell clapped a hand on his shoulder and spoke from his heart.

"That's why you gotta try, man," he said, taking a precious moment to look all three in the eyes. "You gotta try, you gotta carry on. Because we're fighting for the right, the innocent. Who's gonna protect them if we are gone? I can't give up, it's not in my nature…. and looking all the three of you, I'm sure it's not in yours either."

The SeeDs seemed to pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. Then the tallest nodded resolutely and looked at his two comrades, who nodded in return. The three drew their weapons and charged into the fray. 

"That's what I'm talkin' about!!" Zell called after them. He felt a cold blow strike his back, and whipped around to see an Estharian soldier preparing to cast another round of blizzaga. Without hesitation, he ran at the soldier, dropping him to the ground in just a few moves. 

"Zell!" 

Zell glanced around him, looking for whoever had called his name. All around him destruction met his eyes. Walls had crumbled, plants were aflame, and every few meters lay a fallen soldier or one of his comrades. Already, the enemies which had slipped through their defenses had begun to mount the stairs to the second floor. Despite his encouraging words a few moments ago, he felt despair rise up in his chest, choking off his air.

"Zell!"

Turning again in the direction of the voice, he finally caught sight of Selphie running towards him, her arms waving desperately. He heard a yell from behind him and turned just in time to quickly uppercut and flip a Galbadian officer. Just as the body connected to the ground with a heavy thud, Selphie reached him. She put a trembling hand on his arm and spoke, her voice betraying the collected front she was trying desperately to maintain. 

"They've started to invade the second and third floors. We've been trying to keep them back, but there's so many… Zell, I don't know how long we can hold them off up there. We need you, can you come help us?"

"Selphie, thank Hyne you're here," Quistis interrupted, running over to them. "We can use all the help we can get down here," she said, brushing her blond hair away from her face. There was a deep slash on the arm of her black uniform, and the edges of the fabric clung to her, held there by drying blood.

Selphie frowned and tried to explain her own situation upstairs. Quistis shook her head and gestured around herself. 

"Selphie, we can't hold off this wave…. forever…?" she trailed off, looking around the area. 

The place was eerily quiet. The gaping hole in the wall was empty, and sunlight steamed through it, creating a strange glow in the large space. The SeeDs left standing were looking at each other, unsure of what was going on.

"This doesn't feel right, guys," Zell said, under his breath to his friends, so as not to alarm the rest of the SeeDs. Quistis nodded, her hand resting upon the whip at her side. 

"Heyy? Maybe they gave up?" Selphie questioned softly.

Just then, the sunlight that had brightened the room began to be eclipsed by a dark shadow. Zell watched at the light on the floor shrank to almost nothing. A deep metallic rumble began to grow, causing the ground to vibrate lightly. Suddenly, the wall which had once had a hole in it was gone, exploding in all directions. The three friends turned their back on the explosions to shield themselves, and Zell stood in front of Selphie, his arms around her in an attempt to keep her from being hit by any debris. As the sound of falling cement lessened, everyone turned; trying to peer through the smoke at what awaited them. 

"Oh… shit…" Quistis swore under her breath as the dust dissipated. Stretched out in a long line were huge machines. They appeared to be somewhat like tanks, but were almost two stories tall and manned by several people from inside. Mounted about 10 feet in the air and on the front of the vehicles were strange nozzles which looked somewhat like fire hoses. 

Zell watched apprehensively as these nozzles extended out several feet and seemed to rotate clockwise for a moment.

_Almost as if they're turning on a faucet…_

Shock and panic overtook him. "Yo! Everyone, get back! Get the hell back!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, pushing Selphie and Quistis back, towards safer ground. As the SeeDs fled, fire began to shoot from the hoses in a flat plane. The line of fire stretched across several feet and connected to the line of fire from the tank adjacent to itself. 

"It's not so much an offensive weapon… it's a siege weapon… one to keep us from escaping…" Zell said softly, looking at the line of fire that stretched the whole of the blast range. From the bottom of the vehicles, doors swung open and soldiers streamed out. 

"Hey!" Zell heard someone call from behind him. He turned and saw Irvine running towards them, his eyes glued to the wall of fire. After a moment's hesitation, he raised his gun and cocked it while pointing it towards the sky.  Falling into line between Zell and Selphie, he spoke, a grim smile on his face.

"Just like old times, guys. Let's do this!"

--Centra Ruins, Tower.

Squall softly closed the door to the room. Inside, he was sure Rinoa was still sitting quietly, eyes fixed on the sun as it arced slowly across the afternoon sky, as she had been for the past few hours. He turned toward the wall, resting his forehead on the cool stone wall. 

_What am I supposed to do next?_

He crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself tightly. He fought to ignore the cries of protest from deep in his mind.

_What are you thinking? Are you going to run forever?_

He moaned softly, and lightly thunked his head against the stone.

_I know I can't run. I know I can't escape this forever. But what do I know that I **can** do?_

"Squall? Could you… could you come in here, please?"Rinoa called from within the room. Taking a moment to pull himself together emotionally, he attempted to mask his worries. 

_I used to be so good at hiding my thoughts…_

He opened the door, somewhat dismayed to see Rinoa just as he had left her. Covering the expanse of the floor in a few large strides, he stood in front of her.

"You alright, Rin?" he asked, his normally cool voice filled with worry. He noticed her hesitation and put a hand on her shoulder to encourage her to speak, and was surprised to feel her body trembling. He lowered himself in front of her, squatting down and sitting on his heels. 

"Hey…? Rinoa? Tell me?" he questioned, tucking a finger under her chin to lift her face so his eyes could find hers. She seemed unable to hold his gaze, and turned away, blinking quickly. As she turned, he caught a tear rolling down her cheek in profile. A frown crossed his features as he moved from the floor to sit beside her. After a moment's hesitation, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and just held her quietly.

"Rinoa? I… know I'm not always the best at opening up… but I want you to always be able to talk to me... there's not one thing in this entire world that you could tell me that would ever make me change how I feel about you… and I just want you to know that. I just want you to know that I won't ever stop being here. Protecting you… and…" he paused, feeling a flush creep up his cheeks despite the seriousness of the conversation, "and… always loving you. Okay?"

He received no reply, which hurt him more than he thought it would. He was so used to Rinoa always talking to him, telling him everything about her life, her desires, her plans… it was her passion for life, her spontaneity, which had kept him from forgetting her that first night long ago.

After a moment more, he stood up.

"I'm gonna make a few calls to Garden and find out what their situation is," he explained, pulling his cell phone from his jacket pocket and moving toward the door. 

"Squall," Rinoa called softly. He hesitated, his hand hovering above the door latch.

"Yeah, Rinoa?" 

"I am…" she began, but trailed off into silence. He turned to look at her, and was surprised to see that she had risen and was standing by the window, looking out at the desolate expanse beyond. Before he could move toward her, she spoke again.

"I am with child. Your child." 

Squall paused, slightly reeling back on his heels. His heart had jumped into his throat and he fought to swallow it back down. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a horrible buzzing in his head. Opening them, he glanced over at Rinoa, who had still not turned to look at him. He took a deep breath. He opened the door and walked out. 

--Balamb Garden, 2F Corridor.

As the chain snapped taught, it caught an Estharian soldier on the neck with a heavy _thwack_. With a flick of the wrist, her nunchaku was back in her hand. Peering farther down the hallway, she was dismayed to see more and more soldiers mounting the stairs to the second floor. 

_ They've already pushed us up to the second floor, the first is totally lost. I don't know if we can do this much longer… there's no way we can evacuate all the remaining underclassmen from this floor… and everyone's on their last legs…_

Selphie watched in shock as a group of SeeD were rocked by a quake spell. Running in their direction, she called a spell aloud.

"Full Cure! And Fast!"

The SeeDs nodded to her gratefully before renewing their battles. She caught a familiar form rush by her right side and watched as they ran to a fallen comrade. She ran to them.

"Irvine?" she questioned, and he looked up at her from his kneeling position on the floor. He gestured to the female SeeD on the ground.

"She's dead, Sefie… so many…" 

Her heart ached and she reached for his hand, pulling him up from the ground. In the midst of the chaos, he pulled her close to him and held her tightly. She hid her face in the curve of his neck and tried to tune out the sounds of cries and explosions that echoed in the hall. She felt Irvine shift his grip on her and jumped as a loud bang reverberated in her ears. She lifted her head in time to see a Galbadian solider who had attempted to rush the couple drop to the ground, mortally wounded from a blast of Irvine's shotgun. 

Just then, Zell ran past, but skidded to a stop and turned around when he caught sight of the two. 

"Hey! Have you guys seen Quistis?" he asked, wiping a hand across his lower lip, which was split and still oozing blood. 

Selphie paused, thinking hard for a moment before answering.

"I think I saw her heading for the third floor a few minutes ago, but I can't quite remember. What's up?"

Zell frowned and gestured at the chaos all around him. Irvine nodded and squeezed Selphie's hand.

"Let's go find her."

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office.

_You've failed. Everyone's dying. You're no commander._

Quistis ran a hand over her face, a tear smearing a trail through the dirt on her cheek. She hated herself for leaving the battle, which she could still hear and feel from the floors below. But she had to think. Had to weigh her options, and decide when it was time to cut her losses. She jumped as the phone on Squall's desk began to ring. She let it ring until the machine picked up, and then it began to ring again. Sighing, she walked unsteadily towards the desk and picked up the receiver.

"Balamb Garden? Is this Garden? I need to speak with the commander!"

Quistis opened her mouth to speak, but her throat was dry and she coughed a few times before she found her voice.

"This is acting commander Quistis Trepe."

"Trepe, this is Martine of Galbadia. We've sustained heavy casualties and damage to Garden. We can't hold them off any longer. We want to instigate a truce. But they won't accept unless all three Gardens present a united front against the sorceress. I've already spoken to Trabia, and they've agreed to the truce as well. We need your affirmation. Now."

Just as she began to respond, the door to the office swung open and Zell rushed in, followed closely by Selphie and Irvine. 

"Can you hold on for a moment, sir?" She questioned, and rested the phone receiver on its side on the desk without waiting for a response. 

She crossed the floor to stand in front of her friends.

"I'm sorry, everyone. I didn't run away. I just needed some time… to think. I just don't know what the right move is. Martine is on the phone, asking us to accept a truce and cooperate with the Esthar and Galbadia before they finish us off. But we- but I promised Squall that I would protect Garden. I don't know what the right choice is. I don't know what to do." 

Quistis swallowed down the tears that threatened to fall as she locked eyes with each of her comrades. Selphie brushed away a tear and stepped forward.

"Quistis… I can't tell you what to do…" she began, her voice wavering. Irvine moved to stand beside her and then continued the sentence for her.

"But we can't hold them off much longer, and…" he hesitated, and Zell took the opportunity to speak up.

"And… Squall will understand, Quistis." 

Quistis pondered aloud, trying to come to a solution. 

"It's not a betrayal. So many lives are at stake…. we need to save the ones still left. We have to trust him to protect Rinoa, right?" she asked, glancing at the three for confirmation, and they nodded. 

She turned back toward the desk.

_We have to trust Squall to understand. We have to trust him to do what we couldn't._

Lifting the phone receiver to her ear, she spoke as strongly as she could.

"Martine, please advise the Estharian and Galbadian forces that they may back down. We are willing to cooperate."

_I'm so sorry, Squall._

-- Centra Ruins, Tower.

Squall walked slowly down the winding staircase, trailing his fingers on the cool stone wall, relishing the rough texture. At least that was something he could feel. Suddenly overwhelmed by tiredness, he sat down on the steps, resting his head in his hands and allowing his hair to fall across his eyes.

_Rinoa's pregnant? We can't do this right now, I can't think about it. I thought we were always careful? But she has been very… aggressive in that department lately. But it's my responsibility. It's my responsibility._

He stood, trying to clear his head. 

_It's my responsibility. As is Rinoa._

He turned to look up the winding staircase, and began to climb. With each step upwards, he felt a little bit better, his choice seemed a little bit clearer. He reached the top of the stairs and opened the door. Rinoa had been looking out the window, but she turned to face him. Her skin was pale and her eyes seemed haunted. 

_My responsibility. My child. My love._

He quickly crossed the room and pulled her to him in a tight hug. He felt her shake in his arms and he stroked her hair softly.

"Rinoa, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to leave you here alone. I just needed time to think. I won't leave you alone again. I promise," he whispered, he voice tight with emotion.

Rinoa made no reply, but her arms tightened slightly around him. As he stroked her hair, he looked over her shoulder and out the window. He froze.

Rinoa, seeming to sense his distress, took a step back from him, and then followed his gaze. A long line of vehicles could be made out on the horizon, the dust rising behind them and contrasting with the red hues of the setting sun. Finally, Rinoa turned to him and spoke.

"They're coming."

Boom. There we go! How is everyone? I'm sorry it's been like.. .a month since an update. It should have been only about 2 weeks, but I got to go to Spain! You all understand, don't you? *big innocent eyes* And then when I got back, I found out that my roommate had used my computer and that it had a big virus, so I needed to reformat the whole darn thing and I lost this chapter, which I had halfway done already. And so for a few days more I lost the motivation to write… I hate having to rewrite! But in any case, I am home now and will update again by say… next Thursday. One week. Yay! 

Anyway, I hope that everyone liked this chapter. I kept Rinoa (both of them) pretty quiet this time for good reason- the next chapter's gonna be full of them. I hope that no one's too upset that the Gardens had to surrender, but I really couldn't see our friends letting everyone die- and they have faith in Squall!  And the story isn't over yet! Just wait and see! =)

Thank you to my Chapter 16 reviewers! A record number! Go you guys!!! 

Rinny Leonhart / Rikku- Ya, poor little puppy. But.. I'll try and make it up to you later =)

Noacat- I hate sad endings, so be prepared for some figurative ass-kicking in the near future, hehehe.

squeakychris- I tried to bulk up my fight scenes for you! Did I do ok? It's my first time writing a fic, nevermind an action one! I hope you liked it! =P

gabbygav2002- Sorry to keep you waiting for so long! I'll try and wrap this one up within the next two weeks! Happy reading!

Ariennye- No worries about forgetting to update, since I wasn't able to update for a long time either! So we're even, hehe. And I'm working up to the big conflict, I hope you won't be disappointed!

Sain- Oh my gosh! Such nice praise! Thank you so much! Really really! Thank you! =D

eDSta- Hehe… I always saw him driving something like a Spyder. But a Skyline def. works too! Get ready for Squall to kick some serious butt next chapter—but who's?? 

Evan'sRinoa- Here's the update! Sorry that it took eons! Thank you for your nice comments =)

DemonRyu- Oh yes, there will be so much angst to come. Squall is going to be a very angsty little boy when he figures everything out, hehehe. You always have such an insightful review. Thanks! ^_^

Knighted- Of course you got mentioned! I figure, if you guys take the time to review, I can take the time to say thank you, ya? I owe my editing to my beta-reader, Karla, praise her, not me, hehe… But thank you for the praise! It does feel very nice to have so much support for my first fic =)

Karla3- Karla, thank you for not thinking I was dead! I'm sorry to have been gone for so long! And thank you, as always, for editing and reviewing! Early Happy Birthday!

SoulSwhispers666- hehe, okie. let me try and explain. *puts on teacher hat* So like, Rinoa's starting to feel her sorceress powers. But there's apart of her that resists them. This is the "good" Rinoa. The "bad" Rinoa is the part that is going around trying to get power, cause wars, and off people. The "good" Rinoa, which is really her conscience,  is stuck up in a corner of her mind, and is powerless to stop the "bad" Rinoa from doing what she's doing, but she can see her doing it. And the "good" Rinoa is trying to find a way to fight the evil within herself. Does that help?  Hehe. I hope you liked this chapter =)

Rinoa Leonheart1- I hope that the time it took to read all the chapters was worth it! Thanks for your review! ^.^

A Lifeless Beauty- Why thank you! Such a sweet review! *hug* I hope this chapter was up to par! =)

Thank you to everyone who is reading! Drop me a review and you will be loved forever! Te amo~ Kupo

Up Next: The Evil Within!


	18. Inner Conflict

Note: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, but I **do** plan on stealing the rights to the game tonight. How, you ask? Well… I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

**Additional Author's Note**: There is a lot of dialogue in the first section of this chapter. Please bear with me and trust that it's for the best!

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Eighteen: Inner Conflict

--Void.

_"He doesn't even see the difference."_

Rinoa held her hands up to her ears, trying to block out the voice which echoed all around her. Her head hurt, and despite her previous resolution to fight back, she simply didn't have the strength. She was tired, so tired. Her strange window to the real world had remained dark since the one time she had managed to break through, and to be with Squall again.

_"I promise you, he doesn't see it."_

"I don't believe you!" Rinoa called out, with as much strength as she could muster. "Squall would never be seduced by evil… he knows me, he loves me. You're just a poor imitation, a fake, a… I don't even know who you are! What you are! Where I am!" She fought to control the rising panic, which was making her feel as if her chest was tightening and her heart constricting. A glimmer in the corner of her vision caught her eye, and she turned toward it.

She found herself looking at what seemed to be her reflection, until the mouth twisted into a sneer. 

_"I've explained this to you before. You have no reason to doubt me, I wouldn't lie to you. I can't. No one can lie to themselves."_

Rinoa glared at the face in the mirror.

"You and I are nothing alike," she spat venomously. "You're some**thing **evil. I've been possessed by you, just like before… with Adel. And Ultimecia. You're trying to take advantage of me, but I won't let you. I'll die first."

The image in front of her smiled and shook her head sadly, much as a mother would when she wouldn't have the heart to punish a misbehaving child. 

_"You are a sorceress of your own right. You are correct when you say you were possessed by Adel, and yes, by Ultimecia. But you are not possessed now. Think about it, Rinoa. Do any of us choose to be evil? Or is it fate? Or only an unfortunate accident of birth? Adel was born human. So was Ultimecia. They were like you. Hopes, dreams, maybe even loves. What happened to them? What turned them into the reviled figures they are today? Did any of you… really ever stop and think… what it was?_"

Rinoa looked away, ashamed to admit that she hadn't. Back then there wasn't time to question motives. All of them, they all did what they had to do. And after it was over… it was easier to just forget. To keep those that had tried to harm her away, to wonder why these women had become who they were… was to make them human. Like she was. And more than anything else, Rinoa wanted no connection with the sorceresses. Every day since she had received her powers had been a subconscious struggle to forget that, indeed, she was one as well. 

_"You haven't, have you? But that's not the real issue here. The issue is power. The world spins because of our desire for power, and our struggle to keep it. We kill to take it from others, and we kill to keep others from taking it away from us. It's a horrible, deadly cycle. But you… you, Rinoa... you have a different power. One that cannot be taken away by force. A part of you knows this already. That part is me. I am you. I am the stronger part of you… and the wiser."_

Rinoa frowned.

"So what am I? I'm standing right here! If I pinch myself, I feel it! How can I be there, be **you**, doing all these horrible things, when I am standing right here?!"

_"You're not standing there. Really, all you are is the last bit of your mind, your conscience, fighting to hold on. Most of you has already surrendered, has become… me."_

"Lies again. I would never give in to you."

_"Not true. For I stand here, living, breathing proof. Power is seductive. Part of you has always been entranced by power…do you deny it?"_

"…"

_"There have been good sorceresses. Give in to me, and that full power can be unleashed. We can stop the petty squabbles of the masses; bring peace to the world so that no one needs to fight. That's the power you've always craved, isn't it? And that's why you began to give in. Little by little, without even realizing it. But I need all of you. Without my conscience, I cannot stop myself from these horrible acts that I am committing… when you join with me, the horror will stop. And peace will reign under you… with Squall at your side."_

"Squall…"

_"You must know… that Squall is going to be destroyed. He will destroy himself to protect you. Even now, he follows blindly. You hold his fate in your hands."_

Rinoa looked herself in the eyes, frightened by the human sympathy she saw in them. Tentatively, she pushed her hair behind her ears and spoke.

"You said you wouldn't lie to me. If that's true… tell me how to destroy you. Tell me how to beat you."

Suddenly beside her in the blackness appeared a silver table. A few moments later a knife shimmered upon it. Rinoa picked up the blade, running her finger lightly along the sharpened edge. Steeling herself, she gripped the handle with one of her hands and pointed the tip at the woman watching her.

"I've thought about it, and the answer is no. No now, and no forever."

The woman watched her carefully, and then shrugged in defeat. 

_"Then end it. When you pierce your flesh with that knife, you will die. So will I. We will die together. But there is a new addition to this equation that you should know about before you act so rashly._" 

Touching her hand to her stomach, she smiled softly at Rinoa. 

_"I carry his child. Why do you think I pursued him so forcefully these past few weeks? I need an heir apparent, something to ensure Squall's unwavering loyalty. Maybe you can kill yourself, but can you kill his child?" _

"A baby?" Rinoa whispered softly, tears springing to her eyes. She felt sick to her stomach, her mind reeled and a wave of dizziness caused her to drop the knife from her hand. Before she had time to say anything more, a look of annoyance crossed her double's face.

_"I've been neglecting Squall. He's wondering why I just sit, looking out the window. It's hard for me to be here, talking to you, while I also am with him. I'll leave you be for a moment. I feel it's my duty to inform Squall of **our** joyous news."_

Rinoa raised her hand, but with a flash and a muted popping sound, her captor was gone, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She paced back and forth, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. 

_A baby? Me? Squall and I? Can I end our baby? Squall… I wish you were here, I miss you so much… I don't know what do to._

She swiped angrily at a fallen tear with one of her fists.

_I hold Squall's life in my hands? I know that he would sacrifice his life for mine. It must be true. And maybe if I let go, and give in… I'll stop doing such horrible things, like she said. Maybe I'll be good. And our baby will have a chance…_

Trembling, she called out into the darkness.

"Are you there? I've decided…!"

After a minute of no response, her heart sank in her chest, a perverse part of her feeling relieved that she did not have to make the final choice yet. 

_"Here I am. Have you decided?"_ the feminine voice echoed in her mind, and Rinoa wheeled around to confront it. Locking her brown eyes with twin ones, she was quiet for a moment. Then, without ever breaking her gaze, she knelt down to retrieve the silver knife. Slowly she advanced towards her captor, the weapon held in front of her. Nearing the mirror, she paused. In one quick flick of her wrist, she switched the knife's direction so that the handle was presented to the awaiting sorceress.

"Take it. I don't want it."

With a slight smile, a pale hand reached through the mirror and took the knife from Rinoa. The mirror shimmered as the hand withdrew and the knife disappeared. 

_"You've made a wise decision."_ the image declared, and the hand once again reappeared, palm up and fingers slightly splayed. _"Now take my hand. It's time for you to go home."_

With a deep breath, Rinoa extended her hand. Hesitating just before the point of contact, Rinoa wavered.

_Squall, I love you._

Swallowing her fear, Rinoa nodded grimly and took hold of the sorceress' hand. Instantly her knees buckled as she was pulled through, and the last thing she saw was a wicked grin cross her captor's features.

_"**Fool. Now no one can stop me.**"_

--Centra Ruins, Tower.

Squall watched with concern as the vehicles slowly traversed the plains toward their hideout. He looked down at Rinoa, who had mysteriously gone silent again. Suddenly, she began to shake, and her fingers gripped the windowsill with such intensity that they turned white.

"Rinoa? Are you alright?" he asked, touching her arm in concern. He was shocked to find that her skin was clammy and cold to the touch, and his worry deepened. Under his fingertips, her body shivered violently. Turning her to face him, he gripped both her shoulders with his strong hands. He continued to watch in horror as the color drained from her face, leaving her a sickly ivory color. Her eyelids were fluttering and her breath came in shallow gasps. Fear closed its fist on his heart, and not knowing what else to do, slapped her, hard and fast, across the face.

"Rinoa! Stop it!" he cried out, his voice breaking. Under his hands, her body went rigid, and then she stumbled, falling into his embrace limply. Her arms went around his neck and she hid her face in the collar of his jacket.

"Squall… they're coming. I'm so frightened…" she confided, her breath tickling the inside curve of his neck. He pulled back to look at her while he spoke.

"Rinoa… I'll protect you, I told you. I'll die before I let them come to you."

"Even if the world becomes my enemy?" She said, her words barely a whisper and her eyes portraying more emotion then her troubled words could.

"Even then," he said softly, pulling her close and pressing his lips to her forehead. 

"Squall," Rinoa said hesitantly, pulling away to look out the window again. "I could… help you, you know? I think that maybe I could try and use my own power… to protect both of us…?"

Squall raised an eyebrow, critical and somewhat shocked.

"Rinoa, it's just that, well… you've never wanted to even acknowledge that you **have** that power. And now you're raring to use it?"

Rinoa shot him an angry look. 

"I'm not raring to use it. I'm desperate. I just want what's best for both of us. And… and our baby too" she added, pulling his hand to her stomach and resting it there lightly. Squall appeared to be torn by indecision for a few moments, and then he brushed the side of her face, which was still slightly red from his earlier blow.

"If you feel comfortable… do what makes you feel safe," he agreed softly. Rinoa nodded and moved from next to him to the middle of the room. 

Squall shifted uncomfortably as the room seemed to grow colder. A low thrumming sound filled his ears as Rinoa raised her hands from her sides toward the ceiling. She murmured something under her breath, and after a moment he recognized it as Latin. Although he couldn't translate it, it unnerved him. While she chanted, a white circle of light began to emanate from below her feet, in a circle across the floor. When the ripples of light had reached all edges of the circular room, the color changed to black … and the room began to shake. 

Squall was knocked to the floor by the vibrations and looked around, frightened despite his training and life experiences. From his position on the ground, he tried to look out the window, and was shocked to see tree branches, the tallest of which had barely reached above the window beforehand, sink out of view. Not understanding how this could be, he stumbled to his feet in an attempt to get a better view.

His mouth fell open as he looked out at the expanse. The tower which they occupied was _rising_; while below the ruins scattered across the ground began to resurrect themselves into walls, rooms, windows… as if by magic. 

_No… not magic. Sorcery._

Squinting into the horizon, he had trouble making out the convoy, as the sky had darkened considerably in the past few moments. Worried, he turned to look at Rinoa. 

She was gone, but the door was ajar. He bolted through it, calling her name. He took the stairs two at a time, skidding to a stop when he reached a foyer, which certainly had been only rubble moments ago. The large area was lit by hundreds of candles, and he looked around it quickly, finally catching movement in the corner of his vision. Turning to his left, he looked up a staircase to see a large red door closing.

"Rinoa!" he called again, chasing after her. It seemed he climbed stairwell after stairwell for ages, but finally he reached a simple black door. Opening it, he could see a long hallway with a deep blue carpet stretching down the center. Jogging down it, he made out a figure standing at the other end. It was Rinoa.

She was dressed in a long black gown, which clung to her curves. As she turned to face him, it shimmered blue in the candlelight. Her hair was swept up and held with a silver clip, tendrils falling in loose curls about her face. She held her hands out to him, and he took them in his own. 

"Rinoa? Are you… What is all this?"

She smiled softly. 

"I am not quite sure… but I am still here. It's me," she explained, holding his hand to her mouth and pressing her lips against it. Squall nodded, and squeezed her hand tightly. 

Just at that moment, an explosion could be heard in the distance. Squall turned to look down the hallway and toward the door. He spoke aloud, although he was not sure whether it was for Rinoa's benefit of his own.

"I'm ready. Let them come."

With his back to Rinoa, he was unable to see the malevolent smile creep across the sorceress' face.

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Beta Reader's Scribbles: Kupo, what a wonderful job. They things you had to describe (and the emotions) were really huge and needed so much detail to really get a minds-eye. But you did such a good job of it, that there was hardly any room for me to change much at all. The words and especially the dialogue (baaaad dialogue is a pet hate of mine :P) was perfect and so well rounded. I loved every minute of it! 

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Hi everyone! Here is ch. 18… one more to go, plus an epilogue! So yay! We're almost there! Thank you to reviewers of Ch. 17, and this chapter is dedicated to **Demon Ryu** for doing the moogle dance!

**Evan'sRinoa****- **One week! I Told you I would throw this chapter up by Thursday, and here we are! I hope you like this one =)

**Noacat****-** I am so glad you like this story, and I'm so honored because I love yours! *bows* Happy ending on the way, tied up with a pretty bow! 

**Karla3-** Happy Birthday you lucky Aussie. Thanks for all your help with this chapter! *puts up the sunglasses face… not the rolling eyes face*

**DemonRyu**- I'm not the only one who knows the moogle dance?!?! Yay!!! Lol your review made me laugh… I will feed Rinoa crackers in my other fic "Squall Duty" just for you! 

**Karaoke Risa-** Don't worry, I have proclaimed a happy ending the entire fic and will be ending it that way! I'm a sucker for happy. Thanks for all your nice comments! =)

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Next Up: The Grande Finale!


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